Thursday, October 29, 2009

There isn't a woman in the world who can resist the scent of a wounded man

I’m so over dating! I have spent countless hours checking off my lists of must haves and deal breakers that I didn’t realize how much the process of dating was bruising my ego. I will admit it, I cannot stand the breakdown of communication that comes with dating. The question of will he or won’t he call me after our first date…drives me bonkers! I hate the waiting, the wondering, the what-if of it all. And honestly, it hurts! Why didn’t he call me? Why doesn’t he like me? Is it the way I look? Is it something I said? Is it something I did? It shouldn’t be this way! I really don’t know these people. I have no vested interest in them, nor do they in me. But for some reason I really feel like I have lost myself through the whole dating process. I’ve become someone that I don’t know or like very well. I have never felt so alone.

So, I’m done with it all! If it happens, it happens. I need to get back to me and be comfortable with who I am and spending time with myself. I’m a great person and sometimes I forget that. But what I am the most upset about is the time I have vested in dating these losers, precious time that I could have spent on my friends or better yet, my kids. I deserve better, they deserve better…

Better than, the starving artist. You know this guy. He is in his mid to late 30’s and hasn’t gotten his big break yet but refuses to give up on that dream. He works day and night in hopes of getting that one little role that will snowball into bigger and better roles. The sad part is that his chances of getting that big break are probably close to zero percent. Unfortunately for him and his future girlfriend/fiancé/wife, this means he is headed into his 40’s with no 401K plan, no social security, and no emotional security…hmmm, sounds like a good catch, doesn’t he?

Then there is the mama’s boy. This guy is the guy whose mother refuses to let him grow up. You know this guy. He is the one who collects action figures and picked you up in the park after practicing his jedi moves. He comes to your house to pick you up for a date on his bike and he tries to sneak you past his mom at his place…you get the picture…I will spare you the rest of the details.

Or worse than these two guys is the Guys guy. This is the guy, who at 35, insists on hanging out with his buddies three or four times a week. This officially qualifies him as a man-child and it is my experience that guys like this have friends exactly like him. This means us girlfriends/fiancés/wives have to endure endless nights of sports, keg beer, burping and farting. Once a week…great, have your boys night, but if you are the guy that needs more than that, then I can only say sorry because I am not the girl who is willing to put up with that. I’m the girl who is competing with the 20 year old hot receptionist at your office and in order to compete with that I need my beauty sleep so that I can endure getting up at 5am to bust my ass at the gym so that you and I can have some time under the sheets in the evenings. You remember sex, right? It’s that thing we had before football season started…but I digress.

And last but not least…I know I harp on this guy all of the time, but the “I was athletic 20 years ago” guy is my least favorite of them all. I mean, come on…by the time you are in your 30’s you should recognize that you aren’t 21 anymore and start taking better care of yourself. Because I do! In fact, I spend more than enough time worrying about what you might think of my body. So loose the man boobs, cut your hair, get off the couch and hit the gym. Couch surfing is NOT cardio!

So now do you see why I’m done with losers? I’m done wasting my precious time on them. I am going to start focusing my time on me because I am a beautiful funny woman who leaves my shoes all over the house, who spends way to much money on clothes, who is often way to critical of myself, who loves sex and misses having it regularly, who is a good parent on good days and a bad parent on bad days, who sometimes watches to much TV, but loves every minute of it, who has started many books but has yet to finish one, who loves Christmas, but dreads this year because it will be the first one that I have to spend alone, who loves massages, but hates foot massages, who loves relaxing at the beach and doing nothing, who hates to wear dresses but loves to wear skirts, who has been known to switch moods at the drop of a hat, who loves to use the word f$%#, and who would give anyone the shirt off her back.

Bottom line, who wouldn’t want to spend more time with that girl? I like that girl I just described. She seems kind of cool and kind of like someone I would like to get to know more!

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