Thursday, October 22, 2009

He loves me...he loves me not

Let me start this post out by saying I am NOT, by any means, an expert on love. In fact, I don’t know that I have actually ever been in love before. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my ex-husband at one point, but I don’t think I was ever in love with him. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s the reality I had to come to terms with in order to start healing from my divorce.

I have, however, learned many things about love in my 38 years here on this earth. One of the most important things I have learned is that a man will jump through hoops, hurdle any obstacle, and climb any mountain, to spend the most possible time in the presence of the woman he loves. He will think of no other woman but you. He will loose track of time when he is near you. In fact, he is probably even a little embarrassed when he calls you five minutes before he is supposed to…because he just can’t wait to hear your voice.

We all deserve to know this kind of love. There is a song by Faith Hill that says “it’s in his kiss”, but the reality is that it is in everything he does, especially his attentiveness, not only his attentiveness when he is in your presence, but more importantly his attentiveness when you are not with him. Just because he puts on a good show doesn’t mean he is in love…no matter how much he might say it. So in order to help clarify some of those questionable situations, here is a list of surefire things he will do for you when he is in love with you.

*If he sits through episodes of The Bachelorette with you without complaining, then he loves you…and possibly one of the “contestants” on the show, but he definitely loves you.

*If he cries in front of you, then he loves you…he may have to immediately go do something manly like chop wood or fix a car, but he definitely loves you.

*If he tells you that you are sexy when you are at your worst, then he loves you…he’s lying to you, but he loves you.

*If he kisses you on the lips when you are sick, then he loves you.

*If he has seen pictures of you in high school and still says he loves you, then he loves you.

*If he remembers something, that is very important to you, that you barely remember mentioning briefly in a conversation, then he loves you.

*If he lies next to you in your bed fully clothed and wakes up next to you fully clothed, then he loves you.

*If he dances with your girlfriends, then he loves you.

*If he has ever bought you tampons, then he loves you.

*If his parents love you, then he probably loves you.

*If he laughs at your jokes when they are funny and makes fun of you when they aren’t, then he loves you.

*When he chooses to spend the evening with you instead of watching Monday night football with his buddies, then he loves you.

*When he keeps staring at you when you are near, but suddenly takes his eyes off of you when you look at him, then he loves you.

*If he kisses you on your forehead, then he loves you.

*If he laughs at your grandma’s jokes, and comments your mom on her cooking (even though her cooking sucks), then he loves you.

*If he has fallen asleep holding your hand, then he loves you.

So, may you never accept a man who isn’t as head over heals in love with you as you are with him. And may you never feel the need to convince yourself of his love for you. But more importantly, in the immortal words of my friend Sheila, “always remember you are the prize in your relationship, therefore, you should be loved and cherished by him more than you love and cherish him.”

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