Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Dear boys

Dear Boys Who Want to Date Women Without Kids,

Here’s the thing…if you don’t want to have a relationship with a woman who already has kids then I have two suggestions for you; number one, don’t ask me out! Number two, ask me out, but make it perfectly clear to me before hand that you only want to get to know me on a friendship level. That’s it, it’s that easy…that simple…that’s all it takes…nothing more…nothing less!

See, here is the thing. I’m a pretty confident girl, and when you ask me out on a date or beg me for the opportunity to see if there is something between the two of us, I assume you already know that I have kids. In fact, I know that you already know that I have kids. How do I know this? Because I don’t go out on dates with anyone and I mean anyone who doesn’t already know that I have kids.

You might be asking yourself, so then why does Julie feel the need to write this post? Isn’t it obvious that she has kids? And if you don’t want to have a relationship with someone that already has kids, then she is off limits, right? I know, you would think that this would be very clear. It’s kind of like McDonald’s having to put “VERY HOT” on all of their coffee cups. Isn’t coffee normally hot? So need I ask, if it’s hot then why should they have to print “VERY HOT” on all of their cups…I know, seems stupid, doesn’t it?

Unfortunately a need for this post has come up in my life recently. I have gone out with two separate men over the last four months who have both given me the “I want to start a family of my own” line.

You see…this is how I view this “line”. It may not be a line to the men who have said it to me. If it is truly how they feel, then more power to them…all I ask is that you be honest with me from the beginning. But I sense that this isn’t the case…and that this line may just be a cop out, a cop out on a woman who stirs up feelings in you that you aren’t ready to deal with.

My question to you two…why not give a woman with kids a chance? Kids are so sweet, tender, caring and honest. They are beautiful creatures that will steal your heart from the moment you meet them. They will tell you they love you and that your butt looks big in your jeans all in the same sentence, but they love you unconditionally. They will tell you that they hate you, but deep down inside they could never really hate you. They love you unconditionally. They even make you feel guilty at times, but the look in their eyes says something different. They love you unconditionally. So if it’s not your feelings for me, I believe it is the potential attachment to these sweet little ones that scares the crap out of these men. And rather than risk getting their hearts broken by such sweet individuals, they choose to take another path, walk another road in search of that “perfect” woman. A woman who doesn’t already have these little ones in her life that love her more than anything in this world.

The sad part is that these men just don’t know what they are missing. There is no love like the love of a child. Whether or not the child is your biological child or not…there is still tons of love to go around. I would consider myself honored and privileged to be a part of another child’s life…to have the opportunity to show another child all that I have to offer them…what a great thing that would be. To share my love with a child that isn’t biologically mine…I could only dream of one day.

So gentlemen, you know who you are, here are some words of wisdom for you. When you meet that woman who you click with on more levels than you could ever imagine …don’t be so quick to give up on her just because she has kids. Kids have unconditional love to offer those that are smart enough to accept it. I just hope that one day when you meet the right woman or wake up and smell the coffee on a woman in your past…you give her a chance to show you how much she can love you by loving her children. If you are lucky enough to one day find that woman who will offer you that…don’t let her slip away because if you do, it may be the biggest mistake you have ever made!

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