Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Open Letters

Dear Real Housewives of whatever city,

You do not live in the real world.  It doesn't matter how many times you say it out loud, it won't make it true.  If you want a sample of the real world, come to my house where I'm living paycheck to paycheck, supporting two kids with no nannies, chefs or trainers.

Good day,
Me (someone who has real friends that love each other and refrain from calling each other bitches and whores behind each others backs)

Dear Hamilton and Gibson,

If I can hear you talking then you are NOT brushing your teeth properly.

The Tooth Fairy

Dear Mumford and Sons,

My head told my heart to let love grow, but my heart told my head, this time no.  Thanks for the advice.

Me, the one who gets blamed for being too picky

Dear Friend,

I AM nervous about my upcomming knee surgery.  Stop playing it down by saying things like "it's no big deal" or "everyone has this surgery." or "really?  that's all it is?"

It's surgery!  Stop being a B*%^& and maybe ask "what do you need?" or "how can I help?" every once in a while.

For once, let it be about me and not you

Dear Ex,

Thank you for uttering the words "I'm sorry".  It means alot, even after all these years.


Dear work,

Thank you for giving us 5 service days a year!  I spent my Saturday night making capes for kids at the Peyton Manning Hospital and I can't think of anything else I would have rather been doing.

A grateful employee

Dear Me,

Hang in there.  I know it's been a tough year!  There are only 9 weeks left in 2012.  You can do anything for 9 more weeks!  2013 will be a better year, I just know it!!!


Dear Gangnem style,

Is it just me, or am I the only person who thinks your song is the Korean version of "Call Me Maybe"?

Just picking at nothing

Dear single boys from high school,

You have gotten hotter with age!  Makes me wish I would have gone to the big bash last weekend!

My loss

Sunday, October 21, 2012


Have you ever noticed that after you have had a few drinks some things seem to happen in slow motion?  I sometimes notice it and think there is a corallation between that and the kind of alcohold I am drinking. 

But that is beside the point.

The point I am trying to make is that this weekend I seemed to be overly sensitive to some comments my friends were making about me.  Comments like, "I can't believe you are still single," or "really? you're still single?"  and of course my favorite..."I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ARE STILL SINGLE!" (which is similar to "I can't believe you're still single" only it involves yelling loud enough so that everyone in the bar can hear it).

These comments got me thinking.

Single is NOT a status!  It is a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.

I am single because I refuse to settle! 

I refuse to change my relationship status for someone who falls short of what I deserve. 

I know my self value and I have chosen a spot in my heart for a real man.  A man who is mature enough to understand that loyalty, commitment, stability  and 100% honesty are all a priority for me, not an option.

So friends, I beg you...stop telling me I'm too picky!  Stop freaking out because I am "still" single. 

Yes, I want a man in my life who will love me and my kids unconditionally.  No, I don't want to die alone.  But I'm only 41...I have plenty of time to be picky, right?

Monday, October 8, 2012

Wingman Shmingman

Last week I was enjoying a nice quiet ride home from work when my phone rang. It was my friend, let’s call her “Cute as a Button”. She was a little panicked.

Here’s how our conversation went down…

Cute as a Button: “You are never going to believe this.”

Me: “What?”

Cute as a Button: “I don’t know who I am meeting on my date tonight.”

Me: “What do you mean you don’t know who you are meeting?”

Cute as a Button: “I gave two guys my number , one called and asked me out and I still haven’t heard from the other one. I’m not really sure which one it is I’m meating.”

Me: “Now that’s a delima.”

Cute as a Button: “What do I do? If it’s guy A, I will be excited, but guy B kind of scares me.”

Me: (knowing whomever the guy is she is meeting is bringing a friend with him I say this) “ok…relax! Here is what we do. We meet out front, I will scope the place out before you go in and let you know which one you are meeting. If it’s guy A we go in and have fun. If it’s guy B, we bolt. No problem."

Now, if the above conversation doesn’t spell out the definition of a “good wingman” I don’t know what does. I saw a friend in need, and figured out a way to make everyone happy. I’m definitely patting myself on the back for this one. In fact, I think I will add that title to my “funeral speech”. You know the one that goes like this…

“He Who Laughs Last, she was a good woman, mother, sister, daughter and friend. But more than all of those things, she was the best wingman a girl could ever ask for.”

In case you are wondering…It was guy A, the one Cute as a Button was hoping to meet. Unfortunately neither of us made a love connection, but it was an adventure we both enjoyed together.

Oh yeah, Cute as a Button got a text message from Guy A the next day…It went a little something like this. “Did you happen to get a message from someone that knows me who is trash talking me?”

…And SCENE! Can you hear the drama behind that curtain?

Thursday, September 27, 2012


I know when I started this blog again I said it would no longer be a blog about dating, because you can’t write a blog about dating if you aren’t dating…blah, blah, blah…

But, I have to make an exception today.

I was getting ready for work this morning and I heard the news teaser “stay tuned for a great story on the most eligible bachelor in my local city”. I may not be dating, but I am single, so naturally, it caught my attention. I got excited and I did what any single girl would do. I put on a bra, slapped on some lipstick, took the hot rollers out of my hair and sat anxiously in front of the TV. (Don’t laugh at the fact that I still use my 1980’s hot rollers, ok? If you had hair like mine and that was the only way you could make it look decent, you would do it too)


They came back from commercial break and my 9 year old son, was upset because he couldn’t find his tie for school. In the midst of calming down an emotional child at 6:30am, I missed the opening part of the story. But my attention was immediately caught when I heard that this bachelor had his right eye shot out and sometimes had trouble climbing out of the water. I became quizzical and intrigued all at the same time. Suddenly, I wanted to know more. Was he a war veteran who got injured? Was he a former cop who got shot while taking down the local drug lords? I waited in anticipation and came out of the bathroom when they put this picture up.

I know, I know, I thought the same thing…”awwww, he is so cute, but is he really dating material?”

This is Rocky, the local rescued seal. He was rescued after being shot in the eye by fishermen and sometimes has trouble hopping out of the water onto the rocks.

Yeah, things are different when you know the whole story.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Passion is no ordinary word

Someone once told me that a lack of passion is fatal. 

I never believed it…until now.

Recently I was asked to write a very brief presentation on my passion and I froze.  Do you know why I froze?  I froze because I had no idea what my passion was.  I had lost sight of it and it scared me.  It scared me to the core.

I was desperately pulling at strings.  My mind wondered all over the place.  I could not figure out what my passion was.  I cried.  I sat in silence.  I became frantic.  Nothing came to my mind.
Then it hit me!  

This is why I was scared…

Yep!  That calendar is why I lost my passion.  

That calendar is just a month in my life.  The majority of the things on that calendar occur after the hour of 5pm.  I have two very busy boys and I’m just one person.  Oh, they have a dad.  A dad who is pretty helpful, but he is a dad that most nights is not home before 8pm. 

I am up at 5:30am every morning and don’t stop until about 9:30pm every night.  There is not one moment between those two hours that is stagnant.  Nope, we are constantly going. It is stressful.  I don’t have a lot of help with my kids, therefore, I don’t have a lot of free time, hence the reason why I’m single too.  Who has time for things we are passionate about, let alone dating, with a calendar like that?

Looking at that calendar, however, made me remember what I was once passionate about…and am desperately trying to be passionate about again. 


It was once THAT haven for me.  That haven that I NEEDED every day to feel complete.  There once was a time, that if I didn’t write each day, it affected my mood.  Because of that picture above, it quickly became something that I didn’t think about for days on end.  And I don’t ever want to be there again!
I want to write…I need to write…it is who I am.  It makes me a better mom.  It makes me a better employee.  It makes me a better friend.

“You don’t write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald

Friday, September 21, 2012

The Geekster is 9

So this piece of goodness (aka: Gibson, Gib, Gibby, Geeker Beeker, the Geekster) turns nine today! He likes to tell people that I started blogging again so that I could write about him.  Between you and I, let's let him continue to think that way.

I cannot believe my baby is 9! Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be raising an 11 year old and a 9 year old. When I dreamed of becoming a mom, I always visualized myself with babies, I never pictured myself with two boys who have stinky armpits, leg hair and attitudes. Not that I don’t love them, because I do…it was just not the picture I ever had in my head.

To commemorate this sweet boy on his special day, I give you these:

Recent Conversation:

The Geekster: (who plays center for his football team) “Mom, do you know why I like Cole as quarterback better than Aiden?

Me: No, why?

The Geekster: Because Cole gets his hands off my butt faster than Aiden does.

Text message from his best friend’s mom:

“FYI…I’m making 2lbs of meatballs for Gibson for his birthday”- This is a woman who truly knows and loves my boy!

This story he wrote, in which he was asked if a pig and a cat could be friends:

Once there was a pig. Along came a cat. The cat was hungry. He ate the pig. The cat lived happily ever after. The end.

…so I’m concluding that cats and pigs cannot be friends.

Question on the first day of school:

Mom, do these shoes make my feet look fat?

Conversation we had on the last day of school last year:

Me: I can’t believe tomorrow I will have a 6th grader and a 3rd grader in my house

The Geekster: Do you know what is so bad about that?

Me: No, what?

The Geekster: That’s gonna be a lot of stinky armpits!

These kinds of comments spew from his mouth on a daily basis. He is the sweetest, kindest, most loving, funny and energetic kid I know. He loves everyone and wants to be loved by everyone. He makes me laugh and cry every day. He can be a challenge at times, but I wouldn’t trade that trait for anything.

This boy has it going on!

BTW…the picture above…that’s him…on 3rd grade picture day. I promised he could pick out his outfit, and it was a battle I wasn’t going to fight. This outfit is totally him and I don’t ever want to forget that moment.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Grey Goose with a Twist

I tried to stay away, but I couldn’t!
I tried to convince myself that you guys didn’t want to hear what I had to say, but I wasn’t successful!
I took on other projects, but none more fun than writing my blog.
I tried to be passionate about other things in my life, but I got lost.

I’m back!  With a new twist.
Since you can’t really write a dating blog about dating if you don’t date, I’m changing up the format! 
Never fear, if I ever go on another date again, you guys will be the first to hear about it.  But in the meantime, I will be writing about the crazy that is my life, you know, the funny things my kids say and do, the stresses of being a single parent, and the awesomeness that is life in general.
Stay tuned…I have so many thoughts in my head that are just dying to get onto paper.
In the meantime, how about those Chinese messing up our badminton brackets this year at the summer Olympics?  Discuss amongst yourselves…

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Snips, snails and puppy dog tails

I love being a mom of boys!

Sometimes they make me laugh, sometimes they make me cry, but most times it’s just plain fun. I appreciate sports, mud and stinky sneakers so much more than I do dance recitals, flowers and pretty pink bows.

Deep down, I know I was created to be a mom of boys!

That’s why I wasn’t fazed when I had to have a conversation with the on call doctor because I thought my youngest might have had a bladder or kidney infection. Normally, I would share the details of a conversation like this because it’s usually the details that make a story funny.

But this time it’s different.

This time, all I have to share with you are my responses to the three questions the doctor asked.

“Yes, Dr. Miller, Gibson is circumcised.”

“Yes, Dr, Miller, Gibson does wash his penis on a regular basis.”

“Yes, Dr. Miller, Gibson let me look at his penis this morning and it was not red.”

Oh, I might point out that this “one sided phone conversation” took place while waiting for coffee at a very crowded Starbucks.

Yep…that’s how awesome it is to raise boys.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

On a scale of 1 to 10, I think I want to throw up

Life is hard!

No one ever told me it would be easy, but man…some days are just downright difficult to get through. By the time I am done being mom, housekeeper, counselor, teacher, EA, cook, seamstress, chauffeur, referee, coach, personal shopper, hair stylist, plumber, electrician, laundry attendant, social director, banker, nail tech, and law enforcement officer to my kids, I don’t really have time for anything else.

So in the grand scheme of things, what I want to talk about today is not a big deal. But it is something that weighs, heavily on me every day, all day. It’s something that I constantly think about, no matter how hard I try not to. And if most women were being honest with you and with themselves, they would also say that this topic weighs heavily on them as well. In fact, I bet it’s something that men think a lot about too, but will more than likely rarely admit that they think about it as much as they do.

And that thing is…body image.

From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep, I am constantly aware of how I look, and most of the time (about 99.9%) I DO NOT like what I see or how I feel about myself. The sad part is, I can pinpoint the exact moment in my life where I started to become very self conscious about the way I look…It was the day that my Ex asked for a divorce. Not only did he take away my life as I knew it, but that night he also took away from me my future. Little did I know at the moment when he said “I’m just not attracted to you anymore” that my life would change as much as it did.

I don’t think men, women, boys or girls for that matter, realize how much damage a little comment like that can do to one person.

Before those words were ever muttered to me, I was confident, outgoing and fun to be around. My life, unfortunately, changed in the blink of an eye when I heard those fateful words. I stopped being me.

I was no longer confident.

I was no longer outgoing.

I was no longer happy.

I was no longer me.

To this day, I’m still not confident, I’m still not as outgoing as I used to be, I’m still not as happy as I would like to be, I’m still not the me that I so desperately crave to be. I’m a lost, broken woman still looking for myself.

But do you know what I have realized in this journey to find myself?

I’ve realized that I may never be that me that I was before. I have realized that in today’s society of “quick fixes”, like botox, ab chairs, six pack enhancers, metabolism enhancing over the counter meds and brazillian but lift videos, I have no chance of being that girl that I lost years ago. I’ve realized that the media has played a lot into how I “should” feel about the way I look.

Take this picture for example...

The girls in this picture are supposed to represent a normal size 8, size 12 and size 16 woman. I’m going to let you all in on a little secret…the media is lying to us! I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I am a size 10 (on a good day) and a size 12 (on a normal day), but I am a better representation of the size 16 woman in this picture. This, my friends, messes with a girls mind. This, my friends, is why it is so easy to believe it when my ex tells me that I am no longer attractive to him. This, my friends, is the kind of stuff that ruins women!

Or what about this picture...

This is a picture of Jason Aldean, a country musician. Look closely at this picture paying particular attention to his abs and waist. Look at how photo shopped he is. Look at how much distance is between his jeans and his waist. This, my friends, is the media telling us that sexy, hot Jason Aldean is not sexy and hot without a photo shopped waist or abs. This, my friends, is the media telling us that we aren’t good enough for each other. This, my friends is why there are so many hurting people on this earth with body image issues.

I can’t take it anymore!

I’m tired of waking up and immediately feeling like I’m not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not enough of anything to be who society and the media say I should be.

I’m tired of waking up feeling like a loser because I don’t look like some celebrity that society has dubbed “the perfect woman”.

I’m tired of waking up every morning thinking I’m not good enough to be the object of someone else’s affection.

I’m tired of waking up feeling like I’m not good enough.

Bottom line, I’m just plain tired!

Monday, April 2, 2012

I'm a single parent, not a superhero

I’m not gonna lie, single parenting is one of the most difficult things I have ever done in my life. The worst part about it is that there is no end. When I wake up tomorrow, I will still be a single mom. I will still be the one making decisions in my kids lives in an effort to make them better individuals. I will still be the bad guy, when I want nothing more than to be the good guy and I will still be the one who has to break their heart when they don’t make the team.

Yeah, it’s not all butterflies and cupcakes.

Being a single parent is exhausting! And I’m not even talking about the mothering side of things. Nope, it’s the everyday mundane tasks that often become huge events in my house.

Take the task of telling your kids at 8:45pm that it is time to come inside for the evening, even though all of their friends still get to stay outside and play. Do you know why their friends get to say outside and play? They get to stay out and play, because they all come from dual parent homes and they have a parent that will still be awake when they are asked to come in at 10pm for the evening. Unfortunately, that is not how things work in my house. I’m a single mom who has to get up and go to work in the morning. Therefore, my kids will come in at 8:45 because it takes them at least an hour to stop copping an attitude because I made them come in earlier, shower, brush their teeth, and get their clothes out for the next day, before I need to be in bed. Yes, I did say “before I need to be in bed”.

Or what about the little task of shopping. No longer can I swing by the grocery store after a sweaty work out. Nope, now I have to have freshly washed and styled hair, wearing the coolest clothes with four inch trendy shoes just in case the man of my dreams accidentally bumps into me while we are testing the melons for ripeness in the fruit department. Ok, I know that this scenario doesn’t have anything to do with single parenting, but if I weren’t a single parent hoping to run into my Prince Charming every time I stepped out of my house, then I wouldn’t give a S&*# about what I looked like…but I digress.

How about being the mom that has to tell her kids that we can’t go on a vacation for Spring Break, because I have to work. I have to work in order to pay the bills and put food on the table. This last year I worked really hard to become debt free (except for my house and car) and building up the vacation fund has been a low priority. But 11 and 8 year olds don’t understand that.

I’m also that mom who only allows my kids to do one extracurricular activity at a time. Not because I don’t think they would love to do more or participate in every single sport known to man like some of their friends, but I have a job. I’m not a stay at home mom (not that I have an issue with that at all), I don’t have nannies or even an ex that can help me cart them around. I’m a single mom with a 9-5 job who struggles to get home and put dinner on the table every night at a reasonable hour.

And laundry…don’t get me started on that one. I CANNOT for the life of me, decrease the size of my laundry piles, no matter how hard I try.

This is what my laundry piles look like every day. I could do one or two loads of laundry a night and never ever get caught up. It’s never ending.

I know one day my kids will learn to appreciate all the things I do for them. And by “things I do for them” I mean, make them come in early, do chores without getting allowance, stay home for Spring Break and participate in one activity at a time. But until that day comes, I will continue to broaden my shoulders and take all of the grief that they may dish out about me not being able to do it all!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

I confess

I confess, Downton Abby is my new favorite show. Yes, it is on PBS. Yes, it is a Masterpiece Theater show. Yes, I have become my parents. My dad couldn't be more proud.

I confess, I use the rear view mirror in my car to look at my cute kids sitting in the back seat, not as a safety device.

I confess, I HATE dating, but I also understand that it is a necessity if I have any chance of meeting Mr. Right.

I confess, my heart sank a little when I made eye contact with the Hot Fireman at the movie theater this weekend.

I confess, I did not take our tornado evacuation seriously at work on Friday. Instead I chose to use it as social hour.

I confess, I'm a sucker for anything basketball related, especially when my kids are involved, unfortunately it is this that is hampering my ability to find the time to date.

I confess, I don't know how much more patience I have left for an 11 year old with an attitude problem.

I confess, on a scale of 1 to 10 I am at the Adele level of frustration when it comes to successful relationships.

I confess, having no plans on a Saturday night every once in a while is AWESOME!

I confess, this new book I have on my Kindle is seriously hampering my motivation to clean my house.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Things I've Learned This Month, the February Edition

…If I ever come up missing, a vineyard in Sonoma is probably where you will find me.

…I think I’m losing my mind, thankfully I don’t think anyone can tell the difference.

…Good hair days only happen on the days when it doesn’t matter.

…Giselle Bundchen needs to discover duct tape. (I can’t stand Tom Brady, but even he deserves to be married to something more than an egotistical motor mouth)

…Everything about me is so amazing, I think I might just start dating myself.

…Never, and I mean never eat a banana while shopping at the hardware store, don’t ask!

…When life hands you lemons, it’s best to just grab some tequilia and salt.

…Homework and wine go hand in hand, this does NOT make me a bad mom!

…Going to bed before my kids is not always a bad thing.

…Trying to convince my boys that Axe is not a replacement for a shower will forever be an issue in my house.

…You know you have officially become your parents when watching Downton Abby, the new Masterpiece miniseries, on Sunday evenings is the highlight of your week.

…My “to do list” is not going to do itself.

…I never have a problem talking myself out of cleaning my house.

Thursday, February 16, 2012


I started this blog almost 3 years ago.

Can you believe it’s been that long?

I can’t.

Quite frankly, when I started blogging, at the encouragement of my friends, I never thought I would have enough material to keep it going. But thank goodness I’m still single and a mom of boys. As long as I have one of the two of those things going for me, I am confident that I will always have stories to tell.
And that brings me to the point of this post.

This blog is and has always been a forum for me to tell my stories, process the goings on of my life, and most importantly to vent. It has never been my goal to hurt anyone, hence the reason why I never ever name names. If I’m asked by someone if I wrote about them I would be honest. Obviously, I’m not one to hold back. In fact, most people in my life would say that one thing they like about me is that they always know where they stand with me.

I value that quality.

So when I got two anonymous negative comments in the past week on my Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster article, I was a little shocked. In my almost three years blogging, I have never gotten any negative feedback. Don’t worry, I’m not stressed about it because I believe any feedback is good feedback. It means people are reading, listening and being challenged.

One of the questions I was asked by said anonymous commenter is if I realized that I was the common factor in all of the negative dating experiences I have had. My response to that is a resounding, YES, I am very well aware of the fact that I am the common denominator in all of these stories. I have never claimed to be innocent nor perfect in my dating life. In fact, I would say over half of my blogs are about me and the crazy mistakes I make in my life. I’m always fessing up and saying I’m not proud of my behavior and choices.

The good thing is that they are all learning experiences!

The other comment that threw me off came today. I was asked by another anonymous commenter if I ever told the guys that I write about that I am writing about them. The comment then went on to say that if I didn’t it was disrespectful.

As you can imagine, I also have some things to say about this…

First, and foremost,I in no way ever mean to be disrespectful to anyone. That’s not my style. I also think that “freedom of speech” is something we are all lucky enough to practice. That is one of the things that makes the USA so great. I don’t know what the difference is about me writing about my experiences vs. me sharing them over a drink with my girlfriend.

But most importantly, the thing I want to get across to this anonymous commenter is that I feel the need to remind them that they are doing the same thing I am doing, writing what is on their heart using different names.

It’s no different.

It’s life!

Now, can’t we all just get along?

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Why I'm removing my profile from Match 6 weeks early

So…Match.com…yeah, it’s not my favorite thing in the world, but it’s a necessity for someone like myself who likes to stay in more than I like to go out. Don’t get me wrong, I like to go out, and I like to have fun, but I only go out when I have a plan, I don’t like to go out just to go out. I had to find a way to be more social and put myself out there to the world, and by world I mean eligible bachelors.

It seemed like a good solution six weeks ago.

I’m not gonna lie, I have met a great guy on Match, let’s call him Mr. Great Guy. But it is still too early in the game to know what the future may hold. Let’s just say I’m keeping my fingers crossed, he’s a good catch. At the same time that I met Mr. Great Guy, I also met Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster. As you can tell by their names, they are two totally different guys.

The main difference between the two, well, I think you can assume what that is by their names alone, so let’s say the 2nd main difference between the two is that I have spent some time with Mr. Great Guy, I haven’t ever met Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster in person…and I never will.

Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster and I had been trying to find a time to meet for a drink, but our schedules were difficult and it never worked out, until this week. We had plans to meet for a drink tonight. But last night, I had to cancel due to a last minute work thing. Secretly, I was relieved as I wasn’t really excited about meeting Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster in person. He wasn’t really my type and he had to convince me to meet him. That is never a good sign.

Anyway, I knew he had his daughter last night and it would be difficult to talk, so I shot him a quick text message to see if I could have a rain check. I didn’t really want a rain check, but I thought it was the nice thing to do.

I thought you might enjoy our brief yet drama filled text conversation.

Me: Hey, I just found out I have to sit in a meeting tomorrow that will probably last until 6:30 or 7…can I have a rain check on drinks?

Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster: Hey. It is fine. I have been on Match long enough to understand what this means. It was nice to meet you. Take Care.

Me: Wow! Thanks for judging and trusting me before you even get to know me.

Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster: No problem. Take care as I said. I got approval to get off work early. It’s not a big deal. Bye.

Me: Look, if I didn’t want to go out with you I would tell you, but the fact that you immediately thought I was lying is enough for me to know that we wouldn’t have been a good match anyway.

Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster: I agree, it is a bad match. I don’t want to play games. I’m sure your Mr. Right is out there. Just not someone who cancels a day before because they all of the sudden had to work. Take care.

Me: Wow! It’s no wonder your single! Your ability to be flexible is awesome! If I cared enough I would send you the message from my boss, but I don’t. Thanks for calling me a game player. Please don’t ever contact me again.

Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster: No worries on that. You are very insulting.

Me: (crickets…no reply)…at this point I’m done with this dude.

But then, I wake up to this text message from him this morning…

Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster: I want to apologize for my reaction last night. Not that I’m trying to make excuses but I have a younger cousin who has Chrones Disease and is in bad shape. We are back to square one. So I am sorry, I was in a horrible mood over this and took it out on our conversation. I didn’t want to leave you with a bad taste about me. We thought he had a donor for a new liver and I was texting him while I was texting you and found out the donor was not the match they thought it was. I’m a good person and sometimes I let my emotions get the better of me. I wish you the best and hope you find what you are looking for. Take care.

I kid you not, that is our text conversation verbatim!

In a way I feel bad. I am a very compassionate person and I wouldn’t wish his situation on anyone, but on the other hand, I don’t want to reply to his last message and open it up for more conversation.

Now…I’m off to remove my profile from Match.

If things with Mr. Great Guy work out, I would be thrilled, but if they don’t I am not willing to subject myself to anymore people like Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster. I just don’t have the energy

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

The perfect job

I have been blessed with the perfect job for the last 9 months.

I absolutely love it!

I love going into work every day. I love the people I work with…they keep me laughing daily. But most importantly, I have a boss who respects me yet challenges me at the same time.

So you can imagine my excitement when Gibson, my eight year old, came home and told me that they were “applying for jobs” in his classroom. On the day of his interview, he actually showered before school, doused himself with AXE and wore a tie because he wanted to look his best.

As a part of this process, he had to fill out a job application and then wait to hear if he got the job he applied for. He brought his application home and in typical Gibby fashion, it made me laugh.

Here is what it said…

#1 job choice: Librarian
Why do I think I would be good for this job?: Because I like books and I like to read (I’m not gonna lie, this made me proud)

#2 job choice: Hall Monitor
Why do I think I would be good for this job? Because I know where everybody is supposed to be (translate: he loves to tell people what to do)

But my favorite job choice was his number three choice…

#3 job choice: Substitute Teacher
Why do I think I would be good for this job? Because I have lots of skills.

This made me literally laugh out loud! He definitely does not lack for confidence.

I love that boy!

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Is a Kiss just a Kiss?

One of my favorite past times is kissing. I love it! With the right person, in the right environment, it can be an awesome experience.

In fact, this is what I think most women visualize when they kiss someone they really like….

And this is what I think most men visualize when they are in the middle of a make out session…

But in reality, this is probably more what most people look like when they are in the middle of a make out session…

Don’t cringe, laugh or judge, you know I’m right. Have you ever unexpectedly seen a couple kissing passionately in public?

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

I'm sexy and I know it

Being in Cabo for six days without my kids was both awesome and difficult. I love Cabo and really needed to get away, but I missed my kids too. I’m ok being away from my kids when I’m less than 2-3 hours away, but the thought of being at least 12 hours from being able to be near them in an emergency, was very difficult for me.

Needless to say, I’m glad to be home.

As you all know, I played hookey from work and they played hookey from school yesterday so that we could spend some good quality time together. Shhh, don’t tell their teachers. As far as the schools are concerned, they were both “a little under the weather.” We spent a good portion of the day at our local sports center playing basketball, dodgeball, and flipping in the foam pit.

We had a blast.

On our way home we were all tired and listening to the local “pop” music station. I hate this kind of music, but it’s all the rage with kids…and by kids I mean those ages 10-15 as well as single adults from the ages of 35-50 who are trying to be hip.

But I digress…

Anyway, the song “I’m Sexy and I know it” by LMFAO was on the radio. I have to be honest and tell you that I have never actually listened to the words of the song until Hamilton, my 10 year old, asked me the following question.

Hamilton: Mom, what does he mean when he says “I have passion in my pants and I’m not afraid to show it?"

Me: (thinking to myself) Oh shit, I don’t want to have this conversation now, he’s only 10.

Hamilton: Mom, did you hear me?

Me: (trying to buy some time) No, what was your question again?

Hamilton: What does this song mean when he says “I have passion in my pants and I’m not afraid to show it”?

Me: What do you think he means?

Hamilton: I think that maybe it’s just that he likes to dance.

Me: That’s exactly what he means.

Gibson (my 8 year old): No, I think it means something TOTALLY different (emphasis on totally).

Me: Oh yeah Gibson, what do you think he means?

Gibson: I think he is talking about that part in the movie that Hamilton watched at school (you know the “sex” movie that all 5th graders watch in school) when they talk about the boys and their “reactions”

Me: (a little perplexed) What do you mean “reaction”?

Gibson: Don’t make me say it!

Me: I don’t know what you are talking about when you say “reaction”

Gibson: You know mom, when boys get boners.

Me: No! I don’t think that is what they are talking about at all! It’s definitely all about dancing.

Hamilton: (completely embarrassed that the conversation has moved from dancing to “erections”) yeah, let’s just stick with the dancing!

…and scene! That, my friends is just a little bit of my life in the past 24 hours with 2 boys.

Don’t hate me!

Monday, January 9, 2012

Adult Time Out

I've been here...

...taking a much needed adult time out.

It's now Monday morning and I am back to reality. Guess what I'm doing my first day back?

Yep, I'm playing hookey with these guys...

Shhhhhhhh....don't tell their schools. Last time we did this I got in trouble!

I will be back later in the week with some great blog posts.

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