Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Life Lesson #2

On an unusually serious note…

Girls, it’s October, which means Breast Cancer Awareness Month. And since this is what my mom died of ten years ago, I feel the need to remind you to get your boobies checked. So this is my public service announcement to schedule your appointments for your annual Mammograms. And by annual mammograms, I mean a real one performed by an actual doctor.

For your information a mammogram given by one or more of the following types of men is not actually considered a real mammogram:

1. Husband
2. Boyfriend
3. Ex-boyfriends/ex-husbands
4. Future spouse
5. Friend with benefits
6. Random guy you meet at a bar
7. Married men who just want to feel “something different”
8. Cougar cubs who want to kill time while their fiancés are out of town
9. Older men who don’t want to be alone on New Years Eve
10. The man you have been dreaming about since the moment your divorce was final
11. The man you recently reconnected with that lives 2300 miles away

And because I usually don’t like to post such serious articles, let the fun begin…I bet you can’t guess the one in this group of 11 that has NOT felt me up, or tried to give me my annual mammogram…

Life Lesson #2: Save second base ladies! Get your annual mammograms!

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