I'm not sorry

A couple of weeks ago my girlfriend Jackie and I were at a black tie fundraiser. At the beginning of the evening they had a priest come out to give his blessing for the night. He started off great…blessing the event, the charity, and the kids who would be benefiting from the funds raised. But that is where all of the goodness ended. He then proceeded to talk about how important families were and that the most important part of families were the married parents. He went on and on and on blessing those couples that were married. It got to the point where Jackie and I were beginning to feel very uncomfortable and somehow bad for being single.

And if that scenario weren’t bad enough, I had the following conversation today with one of the new moms at my son’s school:

Mrs. I’m just trying to figure out your status: “So, do you work for a living?”

Me: “Yes, I run a local Non-Profit”

Mrs. I’m just trying to figure out your status: ”Wow, that sounds like an interesting line of work”

Me: “Yes, I love it and it keeps me very busy.”

Mrs. I’m just trying to figure out your status: “I bet your husband struggles with you working full time and trying to raise two boys.” (she says this as she glances down and sees my empty ring finger, or what I like to call my “scarlet letter”…the horrified look on her face was priceless) “Oh, you’re not married,” she says.

Me: “No, I’m not.”

Mrs. I’m just trying to figure out your status: “Hmmm…well I guess maybe your boyfriend likes that you keep busy.” (Really? Who has the balls to go on with this conversation?)

Me: “Nope, I’m working the single status right now.”

Mrs. I’m just trying to figure out your status: (crickets…chrp…chrp…followed by blank stare and kind of an “uh oh how do I get out of this conversation look)

Me: “I’m flying solo and having a blast.”

Mrs. I’m just trying to figure out your status: (acting like I just told her I like to eat babies for dinner) “Oh, you must get lonely a lot, I’m so sorry!”

And before I accepted her apology, I stopped and thought…is it really that tragic to be single? I mean everything I see and hear lately from the media to people in my life, makes me feel like I have the plague because I’m not married or in a relationship. It’s like they expect me to be sitting at home waiting and wishing for a man. I feel like somewhere along the way it stopped being ok to be single. Isn’t it bad enough that I put the pressure on myself?

It doesn’t matter how hard I try not to think about being single, I’m constantly thinking about being single. As soon as I make a conscious effort to not think about being single-BAM- it sneaks up on me! And when I’m surrounded by married people, I’m thinking about being single. So really, to put it loosely, I’m always thinking about being single.

I feel like people look at me like I have given up, nailed the last nail into my coffin. But I can assure you, I have not given up! I’m not depressed! I’m not sad! I’m not lonely! I’m not turning into a recluse! I’m not blinded by my shoe collection or obsessed with work or to high maintenance to know a good thing when I see it. I promise, I’m not!

In fact, if I were being completely honest with you, I would tell you that I have been happily living my life. Happy enough to NOT be waiting for a man to make my life complete! I’m ok with all of this. In fact, I am fabulous with it! I would rather be single than lonely in a bad marriage any day!

So as I stood there, in front of Mrs. I’m just trying to figure out your status, waiting for my kids to come out of their classrooms, all I could think about was this woman giving me an apology for my single status. So I decided to take the high road, smiled at her and gave her the only reply that felt right:

Me: Don’t be sorry for me being single…I’m not!