I confess

I confess, Downton Abby is my new favorite show. Yes, it is on PBS. Yes, it is a Masterpiece Theater show. Yes, I have become my parents. My dad couldn't be more proud.

I confess, I use the rear view mirror in my car to look at my cute kids sitting in the back seat, not as a safety device.

I confess, I HATE dating, but I also understand that it is a necessity if I have any chance of meeting Mr. Right.

I confess, my heart sank a little when I made eye contact with the Hot Fireman at the movie theater this weekend.

I confess, I did not take our tornado evacuation seriously at work on Friday. Instead I chose to use it as social hour.

I confess, I'm a sucker for anything basketball related, especially when my kids are involved, unfortunately it is this that is hampering my ability to find the time to date.

I confess, I don't know how much more patience I have left for an 11 year old with an attitude problem.

I confess, on a scale of 1 to 10 I am at the Adele level of frustration when it comes to successful relationships.

I confess, having no plans on a Saturday night every once in a while is AWESOME!

I confess, this new book I have on my Kindle is seriously hampering my motivation to clean my house.

Things I've Learned This Month, the February Edition

…If I ever come up missing, a vineyard in Sonoma is probably where you will find me.

…I think I’m losing my mind, thankfully I don’t think anyone can tell the difference.

…Good hair days only happen on the days when it doesn’t matter.

…Giselle Bundchen needs to discover duct tape. (I can’t stand Tom Brady, but even he deserves to be married to something more than an egotistical motor mouth)

…Everything about me is so amazing, I think I might just start dating myself.

…Never, and I mean never eat a banana while shopping at the hardware store, don’t ask!

…When life hands you lemons, it’s best to just grab some tequilia and salt.

…Homework and wine go hand in hand, this does NOT make me a bad mom!

…Going to bed before my kids is not always a bad thing.

…Trying to convince my boys that Axe is not a replacement for a shower will forever be an issue in my house.

…You know you have officially become your parents when watching Downton Abby, the new Masterpiece miniseries, on Sunday evenings is the highlight of your week.

…My “to do list” is not going to do itself.

…I never have a problem talking myself out of cleaning my house.

Anonymous

I started this blog almost 3 years ago.

Can you believe it’s been that long?

I can’t.

Quite frankly, when I started blogging, at the encouragement of my friends, I never thought I would have enough material to keep it going. But thank goodness I’m still single and a mom of boys. As long as I have one of the two of those things going for me, I am confident that I will always have stories to tell.
And that brings me to the point of this post.

This blog is and has always been a forum for me to tell my stories, process the goings on of my life, and most importantly to vent. It has never been my goal to hurt anyone, hence the reason why I never ever name names. If I’m asked by someone if I wrote about them I would be honest. Obviously, I’m not one to hold back. In fact, most people in my life would say that one thing they like about me is that they always know where they stand with me.

I value that quality.

So when I got two anonymous negative comments in the past week on my Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster article, I was a little shocked. In my almost three years blogging, I have never gotten any negative feedback. Don’t worry, I’m not stressed about it because I believe any feedback is good feedback. It means people are reading, listening and being challenged.

One of the questions I was asked by said anonymous commenter is if I realized that I was the common factor in all of the negative dating experiences I have had. My response to that is a resounding, YES, I am very well aware of the fact that I am the common denominator in all of these stories. I have never claimed to be innocent nor perfect in my dating life. In fact, I would say over half of my blogs are about me and the crazy mistakes I make in my life. I’m always fessing up and saying I’m not proud of my behavior and choices.

The good thing is that they are all learning experiences!

The other comment that threw me off came today. I was asked by another anonymous commenter if I ever told the guys that I write about that I am writing about them. The comment then went on to say that if I didn’t it was disrespectful.

As you can imagine, I also have some things to say about this…

First, and foremost,I in no way ever mean to be disrespectful to anyone. That’s not my style. I also think that “freedom of speech” is something we are all lucky enough to practice. That is one of the things that makes the USA so great. I don’t know what the difference is about me writing about my experiences vs. me sharing them over a drink with my girlfriend.

But most importantly, the thing I want to get across to this anonymous commenter is that I feel the need to remind them that they are doing the same thing I am doing, writing what is on their heart using different names.

It’s no different.

It’s life!

Now, can’t we all just get along?

Why I'm removing my profile from Match 6 weeks early

So…Match.com…yeah, it’s not my favorite thing in the world, but it’s a necessity for someone like myself who likes to stay in more than I like to go out. Don’t get me wrong, I like to go out, and I like to have fun, but I only go out when I have a plan, I don’t like to go out just to go out. I had to find a way to be more social and put myself out there to the world, and by world I mean eligible bachelors.

It seemed like a good solution six weeks ago.

I’m not gonna lie, I have met a great guy on Match, let’s call him Mr. Great Guy. But it is still too early in the game to know what the future may hold. Let’s just say I’m keeping my fingers crossed, he’s a good catch. At the same time that I met Mr. Great Guy, I also met Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster. As you can tell by their names, they are two totally different guys.

The main difference between the two, well, I think you can assume what that is by their names alone, so let’s say the 2nd main difference between the two is that I have spent some time with Mr. Great Guy, I haven’t ever met Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster in person…and I never will.

Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster and I had been trying to find a time to meet for a drink, but our schedules were difficult and it never worked out, until this week. We had plans to meet for a drink tonight. But last night, I had to cancel due to a last minute work thing. Secretly, I was relieved as I wasn’t really excited about meeting Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster in person. He wasn’t really my type and he had to convince me to meet him. That is never a good sign.

Anyway, I knew he had his daughter last night and it would be difficult to talk, so I shot him a quick text message to see if I could have a rain check. I didn’t really want a rain check, but I thought it was the nice thing to do.

I thought you might enjoy our brief yet drama filled text conversation.

Me: Hey, I just found out I have to sit in a meeting tomorrow that will probably last until 6:30 or 7…can I have a rain check on drinks?

Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster: Hey. It is fine. I have been on Match long enough to understand what this means. It was nice to meet you. Take Care.

Me: Wow! Thanks for judging and trusting me before you even get to know me.

Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster: No problem. Take care as I said. I got approval to get off work early. It’s not a big deal. Bye.

Me: Look, if I didn’t want to go out with you I would tell you, but the fact that you immediately thought I was lying is enough for me to know that we wouldn’t have been a good match anyway.

Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster: I agree, it is a bad match. I don’t want to play games. I’m sure your Mr. Right is out there. Just not someone who cancels a day before because they all of the sudden had to work. Take care.

Me: Wow! It’s no wonder your single! Your ability to be flexible is awesome! If I cared enough I would send you the message from my boss, but I don’t. Thanks for calling me a game player. Please don’t ever contact me again.

Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster: No worries on that. You are very insulting.

Me: (crickets…no reply)…at this point I’m done with this dude.

But then, I wake up to this text message from him this morning…

Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster: I want to apologize for my reaction last night. Not that I’m trying to make excuses but I have a younger cousin who has Chrones Disease and is in bad shape. We are back to square one. So I am sorry, I was in a horrible mood over this and took it out on our conversation. I didn’t want to leave you with a bad taste about me. We thought he had a donor for a new liver and I was texting him while I was texting you and found out the donor was not the match they thought it was. I’m a good person and sometimes I let my emotions get the better of me. I wish you the best and hope you find what you are looking for. Take care.

I kid you not, that is our text conversation verbatim!

In a way I feel bad. I am a very compassionate person and I wouldn’t wish his situation on anyone, but on the other hand, I don’t want to reply to his last message and open it up for more conversation.

Now…I’m off to remove my profile from Match.

If things with Mr. Great Guy work out, I would be thrilled, but if they don’t I am not willing to subject myself to anymore people like Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster. I just don’t have the energy

The perfect job

I have been blessed with the perfect job for the last 9 months.

I absolutely love it!

I love going into work every day. I love the people I work with…they keep me laughing daily. But most importantly, I have a boss who respects me yet challenges me at the same time.

So you can imagine my excitement when Gibson, my eight year old, came home and told me that they were “applying for jobs” in his classroom. On the day of his interview, he actually showered before school, doused himself with AXE and wore a tie because he wanted to look his best.

As a part of this process, he had to fill out a job application and then wait to hear if he got the job he applied for. He brought his application home and in typical Gibby fashion, it made me laugh.

Here is what it said…

#1 job choice: Librarian
Why do I think I would be good for this job?: Because I like books and I like to read (I’m not gonna lie, this made me proud)

#2 job choice: Hall Monitor
Why do I think I would be good for this job? Because I know where everybody is supposed to be (translate: he loves to tell people what to do)

But my favorite job choice was his number three choice…

#3 job choice: Substitute Teacher
Why do I think I would be good for this job? Because I have lots of skills.

This made me literally laugh out loud! He definitely does not lack for confidence.

I love that boy!

Is a Kiss just a Kiss?

One of my favorite past times is kissing. I love it! With the right person, in the right environment, it can be an awesome experience.

In fact, this is what I think most women visualize when they kiss someone they really like….




And this is what I think most men visualize when they are in the middle of a make out session…



But in reality, this is probably more what most people look like when they are in the middle of a make out session…




Don’t cringe, laugh or judge, you know I’m right. Have you ever unexpectedly seen a couple kissing passionately in public?

I'm sexy and I know it

Being in Cabo for six days without my kids was both awesome and difficult. I love Cabo and really needed to get away, but I missed my kids too. I’m ok being away from my kids when I’m less than 2-3 hours away, but the thought of being at least 12 hours from being able to be near them in an emergency, was very difficult for me.

Needless to say, I’m glad to be home.

As you all know, I played hookey from work and they played hookey from school yesterday so that we could spend some good quality time together. Shhh, don’t tell their teachers. As far as the schools are concerned, they were both “a little under the weather.” We spent a good portion of the day at our local sports center playing basketball, dodgeball, and flipping in the foam pit.

We had a blast.

On our way home we were all tired and listening to the local “pop” music station. I hate this kind of music, but it’s all the rage with kids…and by kids I mean those ages 10-15 as well as single adults from the ages of 35-50 who are trying to be hip.

But I digress…

Anyway, the song “I’m Sexy and I know it” by LMFAO was on the radio. I have to be honest and tell you that I have never actually listened to the words of the song until Hamilton, my 10 year old, asked me the following question.

Hamilton: Mom, what does he mean when he says “I have passion in my pants and I’m not afraid to show it?"

Me: (thinking to myself) Oh shit, I don’t want to have this conversation now, he’s only 10.

Hamilton: Mom, did you hear me?

Me: (trying to buy some time) No, what was your question again?

Hamilton: What does this song mean when he says “I have passion in my pants and I’m not afraid to show it”?

Me: What do you think he means?

Hamilton: I think that maybe it’s just that he likes to dance.

Me: That’s exactly what he means.

Gibson (my 8 year old): No, I think it means something TOTALLY different (emphasis on totally).

Me: Oh yeah Gibson, what do you think he means?

Gibson: I think he is talking about that part in the movie that Hamilton watched at school (you know the “sex” movie that all 5th graders watch in school) when they talk about the boys and their “reactions”

Me: (a little perplexed) What do you mean “reaction”?

Gibson: Don’t make me say it!

Me: I don’t know what you are talking about when you say “reaction”

Gibson: You know mom, when boys get boners.

Me: No! I don’t think that is what they are talking about at all! It’s definitely all about dancing.

Hamilton: (completely embarrassed that the conversation has moved from dancing to “erections”) yeah, let’s just stick with the dancing!

…and scene! That, my friends is just a little bit of my life in the past 24 hours with 2 boys.

Don’t hate me!