Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Looking for a guy whose IQ is bigger than his shoe size

Is it just me or do first dates seem like interviews? In fact, it doesn’t matter how hard I try…most of my first dates suck just like most interviews! I have only been on one first date that I can actually label as phenomenal…but you all know how that turned out. Unfortunately, it sometimes takes me more than a phenomenal first date to realize a guy is not date worthy.

The goal of all first dates is the same as all job interviews, to tell the same stories over and over again until someone actually buys them. Stories of my days in school, crazy things my kids have done or just silly things that have happened to me in my career, stories as an unsuccessful dater, or stories as a brilliant employee. I hate that my career as a single woman has resulted in me often feeling like a sleazy car salesman trying to sell myself to the most eager buyer.

The worst part is that I often find myself giving it my all on a first date even if I don’t necessarily have any intentions of going on future dates with a guy. I still find myself always trying to be the “best candidate” no matter what I want the outcome to be. I am always trying to portray myself as the awesome catch that I am, full of confidence and spunk, even if I have decided, possibly prematurely, that I am not interested. And I think I do it because I just want the opportunity to turn someone down…on my own terms.

But the reality of dating is that regardless of whether or not I want the man, it makes perfect sense to always be selling myself. Because if not, what kind of person would that actually make me? Someone who gives up? Hell no, I don’t want to be that person. I feel like selling myself whenever I get the chance helps raise my emotional bar and keeps me from settling for mediocrity. I often feel like if I keep telling these great stories that are funny and keep presenting myself as a witty wonderful woman, then I might just start to believe that that is who I am. And if I believe this about myself, then who really cares what everyone else thinks, right?

Now all things considered, if I gave up, what kind of entertainment would I be for my friends who live to hear my crazy stories? They love to hear the stories of the guy whose mom still buys him his clothes and calls him to wake him up everyday. They love the one about the guy who kicked me out of his house because I wouldn’t let him massage my feet. But nothing beats the story of the cougar cub who I introduced to my family on Thanksgiving day only to find out a week later that he was engaged. For some reason, at the time, it didn’t really occur to me that dating someone who was about to get married to someone else really wasn’t that funny, but my friends think it’s hilarious. They are always telling me that I should write a book…but for some reason, dating stupid guys who do stupid things has suddenly stopped being fun. I have somehow gotten wrapped up in my own dating experiment and suddenly feel like the lab rat being poked and prodded without warning.

But, with that being said, I am still not willing to give up on finding Mr. Right. I will continue to develop my wacky stories…stories that seem to happen to everyone, but ones that apparently only I have a knack of turning into colorful accounts of how I was slighted, challenged, embarrassed, duped, confused or humiliated with. Stories that seem to put others at ease…maybe even stories that make others feel like normal people… normal people that know dating sucks for everyone.

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