Thursday, December 29, 2011

My 1 New Years Resolution

If you are anything like me, you make resolutions every year only to break them before the month of January is even over.

Well, this year I am making one resolution…and that is to diet. I know if I could just lose a few pounds I would feel a lot better about myself.

And to make that happen, I have one lifestyle change that I am going to make. No, I’m not going to eat any different, no I’m not going to change my exercise routine any, and no, I’m not going to mentally convince myself that I need to do either of these things.

No, this year, I’m doing things different.

And by different I mean, this year, every time I think I am hungry I will commence with naked jumping jacks in front of the matter where I am!

Yep, that’s my plan! Just the thought of that alone makes me want to throw up a little bit in my mouth.

I apologize in advance to anyone who may see me performing this desperate ritual, but hey, desperate times call for desperate measures, right?

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Ready for 2012

2011 was a rough year for me, hence the 4 month blogging break during the summer/fall. I thought it was going to be a great year, after all, I turned 40 in March. I was ready, I was prepared to be a new woman, but then things changed. I got my heart broken, I battled with a bout of depression, and my grandma, whom I was very close to, passed away.

The toughest one of the three to deal with was the death of my grandma. Heartbreak can be healed with time and depression can be healed with drugs, but the death of someone close to you is often very difficult to get over.

She lived 92 wonderful years, 40 of which I had the pleasure of sharing with her. When I was 28 my mom, her oldest daughter passed away. When that happened, my grandma was one of the women in my life that also took on the “mother” role. These last twelve years, have been special with her. Our bond has grown stronger and stronger over the years.

She passed away in October. I was prepared, yet devastated at the same time. The last few months of her life I made notes of several of the things she told me that I wanted to always remember. As I looked back on these things, I realized she was preparing me for her death. She was trying to say all of the things to me that she wanted me to remember and share throughout my life.

So, in honor of my grandma, here are her little anecdotes on life…

Follow your heart- When I was going through my divorce, she said this to me many times. She knew that I had enough people in my life giving me their opinions of what I should and shouldn’t do. But not her, even though she didn’t agree with me and the Ex divorcing, she always told me to follow my heart. I will always cherish that.

Say what I need to say- Even though she didn’t always say what she needed to say, she always wanted to keep peace in the family, she encouraged me to always say what I needed to say. If you don’t, you will always wonder “what if…”

Do what I need to do- She was always very supportive of me and the things I chose to do in my life, she always told me to prioritize and do what I “need” to do. Sometimes our needs get pushed aside by our wants and I struggled with this a lot, especially early on in my divorce. It was a gentle reminder that my kids needs should come ahead of my wants…this was a valuable lesson for me.

Make a difference- This was her shout to me to be passionate about something and to make a difference. She didn’t care what it was but she always stressed how important it was to be passionate about something. She was passionate about her faith and sharing it with others. In 2012, I’m determined to find my passion.

Find true love, he’s out there- After my divorce from the Ex, she was quick to remind me, that he was the doofus and obviously not my true love. She encouraged me until the day she died, not to give up on finding my true love. She knows he is out there for me. I am choosing to believe her!

Always be happy and grateful- She was always happy and grateful. I cannot remember a time when my grandma was not grateful for the things she had. She may not have had a lot in life, but she was loved and that is all that mattered to her. I loved this about her!

Be proud of yourself- this is the number one thing I will always remember about my grandma. I cannot remember a time that she would not take the opportunity to tell me how proud of me she was. Whether it be in a letter or in a face to face conversation, she always told me she was proud of me. To this day, I tell my kids everyday that I am proud of them, and I attribute that to her always telling me how proud she was of me, no matter what was going on in my life.

Become the best version of yourself that you can be- I’m determined to accomplish this! I’m not sure what the “best version” of me looks like, but I hope I will know it when I get there.

Forgive those that hurt you- this was always big with my grandma! From the moment my Ex walked out on me she told me that I needed to forgive him, but not for him, for myself. And you know what, she was right. I have learned that forgiveness is not for the person you are forgiving, it is for yourself so that you can move on!

It’s obvious that my grandma was a good woman! I hope one day that I can be as good of a grandmother to my grandkids as she was to me, my brothers and my cousins. I miss her terribly every day. But every day I am also reminded of one of these little tidbits that she left me with, and for that I will forever be grateful!

Monday, December 26, 2011

Bad Santa

So the Christmas season is officially over and I can't believe I forgot to share two things with you...

The first being the Kardashian Christmas Card Photo (below)

Is it just me or do they all look unhappy here? I bet they weren't thinking about "the reason for the season" during this photo shoot, I guarantee they were thinking about about the fact that Kim can't be single for any period of time...the thought of her possibly dating Kanye West would make me have that look on my face too.

...And the 2nd thing I forgot to share with you this year, is the disturbing message we (and by we, I mean me) got from Santa this year.

***If you have kids that are still believers…please stop here for two reasons; 1) I’m a little concerned that you let your young children read this blog and 2) this is a story of how my 8 year old almost became a nonbeliever this year.

So Gibson brings home a phone number, given to him by his 2nd grade teacher, to call and see if you have been put on Santa’s naughty or nice list. We call it, on speaker phone, and this is the message we get…

“You have been confirmed on the naughty list, you will receive nothing for Christmas you naughty little bitch, WTF, our analysis of your phone concluded that you have completed one of the following; robbery, kidnapping, or murder, but chances are your crime was not stopping at a stop sign and throwing recyclable goods in the trash. Regardless, we have concluded that you will receive nothing for Christmas, which of course, is the reason why Santa hates your guts.“

I kid you not…this is the message that we listened to…all the way through.

Now some of you might be asking, why didn’t you hang up after you heard the word bitch? I tried, I really did, but it was almost as if my arm was too heavy to lift and I couldn’t disconnect. I was enthralled.

It’s not an excuse, but it is what it is.

At the end of the conversation, I looked over at Gibson and he looked a little like this…

I spent the next 20 minutes reassuring him that someone was messing with Santa’s phone and that he didn’t mean any of those things. He seemed fine and went to bed great.

The next morning, however, I was awakened by the sounds of little footsteps coming into my room even before my alarm went off. Gibby, that’s what I call him, snuggled up next to me and said “Mom, I was up all night thinking about that message from Santa. I wanted you to know that I don’t think he really meant all of those mean things he said about YOU.”

Ahhh…the innocence of an 8 year old at Christmas.

At least I still had a believer for another year.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Back in the saddle again

It’s been 4 months and I have realized one thing…


I miss sharing my stories. I miss hearing myself talk out loud when I’m writing. But most of all, I miss my friends in the blog world.

So, I’m challenging myself to pick up writing again in the new year, but in order to do this, I must date again. After all, what is a dating blog without stories about dating? Right?

I have some stories from the summer that are doozies, but more importantly, I’m looking forward to putting myself back out in the dating pool in 2012.

Is it scary? Heck yes it is, but what is a girl to do…continue to sit at home on Saturday nights? I think not. I will never meet anyone that way…at least that's what all my friends tell me.

So stay tuned as I dust off my computer, put my brain to use and spill out some funny stories, some of which may or may not include:

• Being contacted by the ex’s of two separate guys I went out with (one time each) this summer
• Being spit on by Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue
• Being called an “old lady” at a bar in Chicago
• Being a single mom from Thanksgiving thru Valentine’s Day
• Having a secret crush on one of the dads from my sons basketball team

I know…It’s about as exciting as Christmas Eve is to a six year old…you can’t wait, can you?

And I can’t wait to share!

Stay tuned…

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