Times they are a changin

I got an email the other day with the Subject: You know you are a child of the 70’s if… You know this email, we have all seen it. You are a child of the 70’s if you had a bike with a banana seat or a shirt with the slogan “Frankie says Relax” or wore neon, or wore two polo shirts with the collars flipped up, or swatch watches and on and on and on and on…

Well, this email got me thinking. Huge societal changes are not just generational, but often happen right under our noses like it was just yesterday. So I sat down and started thinking about some of the things in the past five years that have changed my life as I once knew it.

1. We will probably never ever be able to board an airplane again without first taking off our shoes. This is disgusting if you really think about it. In fact, this grosses me out so much so that when I travel I usually carry an extra pair of socks in my bag and put those on immediately after walking through security.

2. How did we ever used to get around without MapQuest, Google Maps or a GPS? Remember the days when our paretns had to make a stop at AAA to pick up a Trip Tic before heading out of town for vacation?

3. Have you ever noticed that everything is new? Like the new 40 is 30? The new 50 is 40? No wonder I can’t figure out how old I am or remember when my kids birthdays are. It’s just our way of not facing the reality that we are getting older by the minute.

4. How did we ever learn things about our friends or see pictures of our friends before My Space, Face Book, Blogging and Twitter? How did we spend our spare time? Reading maybe? Going to Museums? Hell, I don’t know. But I will tell you this, we definitely weren’t out partying with our cell phones and uploading our fun party pictures to FaceBook even before we got our first drink at the bar. Seriously people, if you have more than a hundred pictures of yourself on your FaceBook or MySpace page (that were uploaded by you)…you have some serious vanity issues!

5. How did we ever get along without cell phones? Andy by this I don’t mean the “cell phone aspect” of the cell phone. I mean texting, and applications, and internet searching at your finger tips. To this day, if I walk out of the house without my cell phone, I will ALWAYS turn around and go get it…no matter the distance. I don’t want to take the chance of missing something important! Like a text from a certain someone who will remain nameless! In fact, at night, I have to turn my phone on silent, otherwise I will lay awake wondering who is texting or emailing every time my phone beeps. There is nothing more disappointing than being awake for hours wondering who texted you at 10pm and finally convincing yourself that it is ok to check the text at midnight only to find out it was SPAM from Viagra…very irritating!

6. How did we ever manage to see our girlfriends before Book Clubs or weekly reality TV watching parties? Thank you Oprah! And we all know how difficult it is for me to thank Oprah for anything… (I can’t stand that woman) but a good excuse to hang out with my friends and I will give props to Oprah.

7. I don’t know how I ever survived without 24 hour news. The moment I wake up my TV goes on, usually to Fox News…sometimes CNN…depending on the topic. I love the Today Show, and I must always stop channel surfing when I come across Nancy Grace or Glenn Beck…those two…CRAZY, but I have to watch! How else would I keep up on Balloon boy or Casey Anthony or Brangelina…pertinent info people! In fact, the other day, Indianapolis was getting a snow storm…ok 4-5 inches of snow, but you would have thought it was a blizzard. And when our local news station decided to stay on from 7am-8am, instead of go to the Today Show...I was pissed! I'm addicted! But I got over it!

8. How did we ever survive without Digital Cameras? Remember all of those trips to the photo shop to get film developed? Talk about a major expense, especially when you would send in a role with 36 pictures and only one or two of them were good enough to keep. How did narsasistic people share pictures of themselves with the world on MySpace or Facebook? Thank God for digital cameras!

9. I used to laugh because my grandma couldn’t live without her weekly dose of the Enquirer. Now I am the biggest celebrity gossip whore there is. I think I get at least 5 or six magazines a week that all say the SAME thing and have the same pictures, but it’s an addiction that I cant seem to stop. In fact, I spent New Years Eve with a friend and he had purchased a Celebrity Gossip magazine for me to read…God love him! Even my friends feed into my addictions!

10. And Last but not least, did you ever think “fat” would become the enemy of the state? I mean seriously, didn’t New York ban trans fats a couple of years ago? And then didn’t Alabama introduce a tax on overweight state workers because Alabama ranked very high (like maybe in the top 5) in the national obesity rankings?

So when do we stop? When do the things we do officially become deemed “old fashioned” or “out of style”? How soon will it be until we aren't able to walk into a library and check out a book, or when will we not be able to buy a magazine at the local book store. In another ten years will we be saying things like, “remember when our cars didn’t fly or when we had to actually go to a doctor’s office to be diagnosed with something?" Frankly, this race to “be better and prettier” scares the crap out of me. I wish that, just this once, we could slow down and enjoy the things that we have now, instead of always trying to figure out a way to make them better. Maybe one day we will stop being what I like to call an “instant gratification” society. But until then, I’m gonna buckle up and enjoy the ride.