Not to toot my own horn but beep beep

In this day and age of political correctness what I have come to realize is that you cannot wish someone a Merry Christmas without possibly offending their religious or ethnic backgrounds. I actually had “Happy Holidays” printed on my annual Christmas cards this past year for fear of offending anyone. And when the cards arrived at my house I suddenly wanted to kick myself for allowing this fear to dictate my thoughts and feelings towards the holiday season. So, this I can promise you, in future years, I will stay strong to the reason for the season and put Merry Christmas on all of my holiday cards. After all, Christmas is a celebration of Christ’s birth…period! I will no longer hedge on nor apologize for this greeting, no matter who I am talking to or who I may offend.

It is this thought that made me start thinking of other things that I absolutely refuse to apologize for.

I will never ever apologize for my sarcastic sense of humor. It is how I was raised and how most people know me. I don’t know that I have ever offended anyone with my sarcasm, and honestly if I have, oops..but I’m not really sorry, because it’s me…and I kind of like me and don’t want to change me.

My inability to let the past be the past. This has always been a huge downfall for me. I can forgive most people, but for some reason, I have a very difficult time forgetting. And this "not forgetting" stuff is usually what gets me into trouble...

My love for Ryan Reynolds. I mean seriously…how can you not say “yummy” when you see this

or this

or even this

Seriously...who has abs like that?

Putting on a happy face…even when I am down. I don’t know if you know this about me or not, but I hate to be the center of attention! Maybe that is why I have a horrible fear of public speaking or being on a stage of any kind reciting lines. Come to think of it, I don’t even like to sing at church. For some reason I am always afraid it will draw unnecessary attention to me (like standing there like an idiot, not singing doesn’t draw attention to me) Anyway, back on topic… Here is a prime example of what I mean by me always putting on a happy face.

Christmas day was the loneliest day ever for me. Usually my ex and I split the holiday in half so that we can each spend time with the boys. But last year I took Hamilton and Gibson on vacation for the week of Christmas and the payoff for that was that my ex got them for most of the week this year. Now, let me stop here and say that my ex offered to let me have the boys for part of the time that week, but his brother passed away a couple of days before Christmas and I just thought that it was more important that our kids be with him to help him get through this difficult time.

Anyway he (my-ex) called me Christmas night to make sure that I was ok because he knew it would be difficult for me to be by myself. Of course, I lied and tried not to let any of the trembling in my voice come through on the phone while I was lying to him and telling him that I was great and enjoying the quite time. But as soon as I hung up…I started balling. It’s moments like these that I just don’t like to be the center of attention…I don’t want people adjusting their lives for me…I know it’s crazy…but it is who I am…I can’t help it.

Being me! This needs no explanation! Some people love me…some people don’t…and I’m ok with that. I will defend those that need defending. Those that know me know that I will fight to the death for my true friends. In fact, I recently just gave up on a friendship that had become toxic in order to stand up for someone I believed in more than the said toxic friend. And let me tell you, it was the BEST decision I had ever made.

Now, there are many more things that I won’t ever apologize for, like being involved with someone that I know isn’t good for me, or putting my kids first in my life, or fighting for the underdog, or watching reality television, or even letting my kids eat candy for dinner….hey, don’t judge me for that one, I would only give them candy for dinner on nights that they are going to their dads house…I’m no dummy!

But the bottom line is, I am moody, I am giggly, I love to be goofy, I cry at the drop of a hat, I am sometimes quick to judge…I have issues, just like everybody else. But I refuse to apologize for those things that make me, well, me.