Monday, May 3, 2010

The cat's meow

Is it just me or do the weekends go by faster and faster every week? I am amazed at how fast this weekend went by. Maybe because it was mixed with a great work out, a little illness, a cute boy, and great friends all rolled into one.

In true He Who Laughs Fashion, I won’t talk about my illness, because let’s face it, who really wants to hear me talk about my many trips to the bathroom. I won’t talk about said cute boy, because that’s my policy (ok, maybe once I get a little more comfortable). And no one really wants to hear about my kick ass work out session, so, I guess it leaves me with nothing better to talk about than my friends. But, I just did that a few weeks ago.

Hmmm…could this be another bout with writers block?

Nope! Not for me! Never fear my fearless readers, I have a doozie of a post for you today.

Today is May 3rd, and it is National Hug Your Cat Day! Let’s celebrate. Come on everyone, grab your cats and join me at the water park for an intimate celebration. Oh wait, cats don’t like water…that’s ok, because I don’t really like cats.

Shhh, don’t tell anyone…

Seriously, I never understood the fascination with cats. They are sneaky, quick, and lazy. They clean themselves, (that, freaks me out), they make me sneeze and they go to the bathroom in a box of rocks. In fact, just writing about cats makes me want to itch my watery eyes.

If need be, I could overlook all of those issues. But if I were being honest with you I would tell you that the main reason I don’t have cats is that I don’t ever, and let me stress EVER, want to be known as the cat lady when I get older. Face it, if you don’t own a cat, they can’t call you cat lady, right?

They could call me spinster, I guess, but somehow cat lady seems worse.

Another thing about being a cat owner is when people say things like “the more time you spend with your friends, spouses, or animals, the more you start to look alike.” I know this is true, I’ve seen it first hand. So I don’t want to take any chances of ever looking like this…

I once dated a guy that had cats. (Single men + Cats = Weird, in my book.) This guy, let’s call him “CatMan” (I know, how original) was the nicest sweetest man and in all actuality, a really good boyfriend for our short lived “relationship”. But I couldn’t get over the fact that he had four cats. Looking back, one cat may have been tolerable, but 4 was just downright crazy. Bottom line, the cats were the ultimate “deal breaker”. But I can remember, in one of our arguments about the cats, he made the comment that “single men with cats is a new trend”. I didn’t buy it!

That is, until I came across an article from August 2009 in the New York Times about Single Men and Cats. It goes on and on about how more and more single, heterosexual men are owning cats as a means of companionship.

I guess I still don’t buy it. Here is my “cat theory”…

I think, single men who own cats use the cats as a replacement for relationships. Because in a way their lives are easier, more convenient, and simpler as a cat owners because a cat is something that doesn’t desire or demand a lot of love, attention and affection. More than likely they won’t easily find these qualities in a woman, so they pick the next best form of companionship that meets their need,s and that just happens to be a cat.

So for all you single men out there that own cats, I have just one thing to say to you…Always remember, Ernest Hemingway was a single man that owned cats and he committed suicide! Obviously Mr. Hemingways relationship with his cat produced the same results he would have probably had if he were in a relationship with a woman.

Just something to ponder guys.


  1. Where did you ever find that picture?? SCARY! My husband actually likes cats but he doesn't admit it really (especially to his friends) and he definitely would have never owned one as a single guy! I think you got it right, girl!

  2. I agree, something about a single guy with a cat just isn't right. Not in the way a single guy with a dog is. Although I personally don't liked dogs. Good thing our pet is a goldfish. That way, we're safe all the way around.

  3. I'm not much of a cat person either and my hubs is allergic....

  4. Hmm... I can't say I don't like cats, because I have cats. Single men with cats? Freaky...
    Stopping by from SITS! Have a happy Monday!

  5. Good morning! Saw you on SITS and what a funny post! That picture really freaked me out! I'm not a cat fan either...and neither is my weiner dog! ha!

  6. I'm with ya on this one. As far as I'm concerned, cats serve absolutely no purpose in this universe, other than to make my eyes itchy and watery, and the close up my windpipe! They should be eliminated from the planet. (I'll try not to hold back so much next time, and tell you how I really feel!)

  7. I love this Julie...."Steve" need I say more:-)

  8. Not to mention that the majority of Mr. Hemingway's cats have 11 to 12 toes rather than the normal 10. And there are over 60 living in his house in Key West.

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