Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Feeling like I can't throw it into the ocean and I'm standing on the beach

Being a grown up is difficult. Sometimes I just wish I could go back to the innocence of my childhood where I knew my Prince Charming was waiting for me. At an early age, I was confident he would find me and that we would run off into the sunset together. No ifs, ands or buts about it.

The reality is, adult relationships are nothing like that! And it sucks when you finally realize that your Prince Charming probably doesn’t even exist. Because more often than not, when that Prince Charming makes his way into your life, your paths will probably not be aligned and you will probably not run off into the sunset together.

So my question is this, what happens when you meet a great guy that is not on the same path as you?

Let me set this up for you. Let’s say you are a single mom that has been divorced for a few years. You have spent an insane amount of time really working on yourself. You are finally ready to move on with your life. You are tired of the dating scene and the games. You want to meet a grown up boy and have a grown up relationship.

You meet a guy. The guy is great! He has a good head on his shoulders. He is spiritually yoked with you. He is a great father who is compassionate, caring, sensitive and a good communicator. I know…if your anything like me you are thinking. “She is living in a dream world. This guy does not exist.” But wait…here is the kicker, he is also at a stage in his life where he is into creating relationships, but not the “long term kind.”

You are on the path to finding your life partner, he is on the path of creating “relationships." You are convinced that your path is the right path…the path that God has created for you. He is convinced that his path is the right path...the path that God has created for him. There is nothing wrong with either of these paths. The issue lies in the fact that it’s two people, who connect on so many levels, that have a blast together, and are on two separate paths.

But my question is this…how do you know, and I mean really know, that the path you are on is the right path?

I guess I could answer my own question by saying, we really don’t know, but the way I look at it, there are three viable solutions to this problem.

1. Move on and follow your original path (aka. find Prince Charming)

2. Jump ship and follow his path (aka. Get to know one another, become friends and risk staying in the friend zone forever)

3. Wait patiently and leave it up to God (aka. the difficult, yet realistic solution)

You see why I hate being a grown up?


  1. When I first met my husband he was more ready for the commitment than I was. It took a little time for me to get on board but after a while it felt right (he's not always Prince Charming though!). I think if you take time and get to know one another both of you will eventually be on the same path!

  2. I guess you just have to have confidence in the path you're on.

    Hang in there!

  3. I don't know you, but I love comments on my own blog so I try to comment on others as much as I can.

    I also haven't found my prince charming yet, so I don't really know what I'm talking about (ha!). But I can tell you this...if there is one thing that I have always felt good about, it's living my (your) own life. You have to keep doing what is right for you and if he's the right guy then it will all work itself out. I have to believe that...have to!

    Good luck!

  4. I would take the risk and get to know him. Most of the time men and women say they want nothing long term because they haven't met anyone who creates the need for such things. You could be that woman. If not, at least you gave it a try. I think love is a total game of chance. You throw yourself in and sometimes you win but many times you lose. You could also have some fun while getting to know him which is always good for you. Be brave. Say what the heck. Who knows where it will lead. No one's path is definite, sometimes a turn is added. Good luck.

  5. Hands down follow God. Trust me - his path - no matter how difficult it may seem or lonely even in the moment - is WAY better than either of the other options. Unlike Prince Charming who may have a hidden agenda, God ONLY has your very best at heart.

  6. What does your gut tell you?

  7. You have to trust yourself. As tempting as it may be to "jump on his path", you have to know that is not the right thing to do. Be patient but keep it moving.

  8. Great post. Real life is a combination of #1 and #3. Almost all women have attempted #2 at some point in life with bad results.

    I am going to link back to in my love post from last week.



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