Thursday, May 27, 2010

On a more serious note

I am never one to really brag or boast about things I’ve done, participated in, felt and experienced…well unless it is a MEME and then we all know that I don’t hesitate to share because for some reason I have it stuck in my head that you guys want to hear all about ME and nothing more. But sometimes we have experiences in our lives that are just worth sharing because, well…they touched us so much. Last night I had one of those experiences that I wanted to share with you. It’s not as a means to brag or boast, but to share with all of you in hopes that maybe one day you will be touched enough to do the same thing.

I had the opportunity to go out to dinner with a friend of mine we will call “my non-boyfriend, boyfriend.” My non-boyfriend, boyfriend and I have been friends for only a short time but spend many of our non-working, free hours together, sharing, communicating, working out, drinking wine and eating. He is a kind man with a gentle soul and a huge, and I mean HUGE…heart people…heart! Get your minds out of the gutter! Anyway, he is unlike anyone of the opposite sex that I have ever spent time with. He is sensitive, caring and a great communicator. I enjoy his company tremendously.

Last night my non-boyfriend, boyfriend and I ate dinner outside on the sidewalk of a great Greek restaurant in a part of town that I had never been to. You would think that living in the same city for 36 years of my life would have allowed me the opportunity to visit this particular part of town, but for some reason I didn’t even know it existed. It is in kind of a rough area of town, but it is such a cute and quaint place to be. We ended up sitting outside having a couple of cocktails and a FANTASTIC meal. The food and conversation were fantastic, as always. The servings were huge and by the time we had finished our dinner, it hardly looked like either of us had touched the food on our plates. The excess of the leftover food was almost at a level of embarrassment.

As we were sitting and talking I noticed out of the corner of my eye a gentleman carrying an American flag. He was kind of rough, scruffy and dirty and I am embarrassed to say that I immediately focused my eyes on my non-boyfriend, boyfriend so that I would not have to make eye contact with someone that didn’t “look” like me. This gentleman walked through the gate of the outdoor eating area and came over to our table and just eyed the great looking food that was on our plates. You could almost see a sparkle in his eye as he looked at it. Had I been at that restaurant on my own or with my girlfriends I would have probably completely ignored the obviously hungry man. I’m not proud to admit that, but it is what it is and I can only learn from my experiences.

But there was something bigger happening last night that I wasn’t at all aware of at the time. I was completely shocked and taken aback when my non-boyfriend, boyfriend asked this hungry man to sit and join us for dinner. He offered up his plate of leftover food and even ordered him a glass of water. Let me clarify, I wasn’t really shocked that my non-boyfriend, boyfriend asked this gentleman to join us, because that would absolutely be something that he would do, I was shocked that I was actually able to be a part of something so awesome. My non-boyfriend, boyfriend and I were carrying on a conversation that this gentleman knew something about, so the fact that he could join in with us in his own little way was awesome. I could really feel something bigger than me working in my life…

As I laid in bed trying to process the events of the evening, I got a little teary eyed, sad and even a little mad at myself. I started to wonder how many times I had passed up an opportunity such as this because I could come up with a hundred reasons why it wouldn’t be good to invite a stranger over. You know, fleshly reasons, like how others would perceive me if I invited him to join me, or thoughts like, “what could I possibly have in common with this type of guy”. It made me sad.

I was thankful when my non-boyfriend, boyfriend called me this morning to help me process my feelings and help me understand that every single moment of my life as I know it, led up to that particular moment last night. Every piece of the puzzle came together and allowed me to partake in an awesome learning experience. It is a moment that I will truly never forget. And one that I hope I have the opportunity of participating in again.


  1. The times when we can connect with others who on the outside appear not like us but find that we actually share something truly meaningful are priceless. Thank you for sharing this with us.

    And...why isn't this person your boyfriend, boyfriend? Could he become your boyfriend, boyfriend? He sounds like the kind of guy I'd want to be with for sure.

  2. Non-Student...if I were in control, he would definitely be my boyfriend, but I just have to sit back and see what happens. He is absolutely someone that I could visualize being my boyfriend, but I'm trying to be patient and enjoy the process of getting to know's something I have never tried before!

  3. Your friend is definitely a kind, loving soul. Kudos to him!

  4. I love that you can be honest about your initial reaction to the stranger (and it's the same reaction I would have had) and that you didn't try to justify it. It's beautiful what the non-bf, bf did.

  5. Matthew 25:35-40, "For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me. Then the righteous will answer him, Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or a needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go visit you?
    The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'"

    Sounds like your non boyfriend boyfriend has the right kind of heart. :-)

  6. I think most of us would have the same initial reaction that you did. Well, at least I know I would. But how amazing to see that there are still people doing the right thing, and that you got to be part of it.

  7. That is one of the coolest stories I've ever heard. I would ABSOLUTELY have thought like you did. i would have avoided, avoided that man. And, that isn't a good thing, i know that. Your non bf, bf sounds like a truly amazing individual indeed! How great that you got to be a part of that experience, and learn and grow in the process!

  8. That is so AWESOME. Cool = Awesome. Awesome= beyond something some can conceive. And just totally effing RAD!!!

    I would have done the same thing as you, I am sure. And I am not proud of it. I have noticed that when my path has crossed someone like that lately, I give them a warm smile. I've learned to smile at every living creature. It makes them feel good and it makes you feel good. I know I can at least do that, even if I haven't gotten over myself to invite them to sit for a cup of coffee and a crumpet.

    I think you need to marry this non-bf, bf. Seriously. he sounds totally RAD.

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