Thursday, December 3, 2009

An open letter to Tiger

Dear Mr. Woods,

It seems you have had a very…ahemmm…”rough” week!

Upon first hearing about your “car accident” on Saturday, I thought…”how dare the media speculate about the reasons why you were leaving your house at 2:30am?” Quite frankly, it was none of their business. If you want to recklessly pull out of your driveway at all hours of the night and hit a tree and a fire hydrant on a private drive…it’s your right. If you were pulling out of your driveway like a bat out of hell while being chased by a woman who “went ghetto” on you with your beloved nine iron…it’s your prerogative…who am I to judge.

I know you and I aren’t close, at least not in the way that you are with Jamiee, Rachel, Kalika, and whomever else comes worming their way into the spotlight, but I feel like over the years I have gotten to know you pretty well through the media. And because I feel like I know you so well, I originally wanted to write you to wish you a speedy recovery. After all, I have grown up with you, I like knowing what happens to you because it makes you real…you are not alone…I was here to support you! But you blew it my friend!

At first, I thought it was just a slight domestic squabble with you and your beautiful wife. And when you graciously called your wife a “hero” for pulling your ass out of your car, I thought…”oh, what a sweet husband he must be” while secretly thinking to myself…this seems fishy. And then when you refused to answer any questions from the police, I thought “bravo…it’s no ones business what really happened.” I actually felt kind of sorry for you because the media was speculating so much. But upon waking on Monday morning…the speculation was more than just a domestic squabble. And between you and I, we both know that most of the time when a rumor brakes in the media, more often than not, it ends up being the truth.

So I quietly begged you to come forward and say something…anything to protect that beautiful family of yours. Seriously, if you don’t fess up…the media will have a hay day with you! But again, you choose to do nothing. And then the voice mail. What voice mail you may ask? Did you not think it would get out? Do you remember the one I am talking about…let me remind you…it’s the one where you are calling your “lover” begging her to remove her name from her phone because your wife found it in your phone…Seriously Tiger, what gives? What’s wrong with you removing her number from your phone completely and focusing on healing a relationship that you totally screwed up? Why is it her responsibility to help you cover your ass for your mistake? You are a role model…you get paid billions of dollars…why can’t you keep “it” in your pants and do your job and be a faithful husband?

But my question to you now Tiger is why wait to confess? Haven’t you learned anything from others that have chosen to handle their situations in the same way you have handled yours? Look at John Edwards…he denied…denied…denied…and look where he is…finished! Look at Bill Clinton…because he didn’t know what the meaning of the word “is” was he ended up in impeachment hearings. And what about Chris Brown…his cover up has probably cost him the chance at a very lucrative career…now he has to settle for a mediocre career. And don’t get me started on OJ Simpson…I’m not gonna go there.

Tiger, I am begging you! Please take the bull by the horns and tell the truth. Save your family…save your career…admit what you did was wrong and let us know that you will never do it again. Look at Hugh Grant. Do you remember him? He was caught with, a hooker while dating Elizabeth Hurley. The best thing he did was fess up, and apologize immediately…He lost the girl but look at his career…it’s booming! If you do what is right, people will forgive you…God will redeem you! If you don’t, this will haunt you for a very long time and you will spend many more years cleaning up this mess.

I beg a MAN…admit your wrong doings!

A true fan,

PS: Please don’t call me asking me to remove my name from my phone…I’m not gonna do it! If Elin calls me I will tell her the truth and recommend that she use a driver and not an iron the next time she wants to beat the crap out of you!


  1. ha That was a good read to start my Thursday morning

  2. What a betrayel.

    I hope he gets professional help for his below the belt issues---clearly he has some pretty under the onion layer--issues.

    Fabulous letter!



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