Wednesday, July 29, 2009


Have you ever thought about chemistry? No, not the kind that involves periodic tables and Bunsen burners, but the kind that happens between two people. You know what I mean. It’s that involuntary need to touch or kiss the person you are with and not being able to stop yourself from doing it. It’s when five hours passes and feels like thirty minutes in this persons company. In a nut shell it’s that feeling you get when you know that the person you are with might drive you crazy once in a while, but will keep you interested for a lifetime.

I believe in God. I believe in fate. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I also believe that initial chemistry is what allows a relationship to blossom and grow, but I don’t believe that chemistry can sustain a healthy relationship. Longevity of a relationship depends on things like shared values, trust, honesty, communication, compromise, and laughter. I would venture to guess, if you asked any couple that has been in a successful long term relationship, what the secret is to making it long term, more than likely chemistry would be closer to the bottom of that list. I believe chemistry is what is created when all of the pieces of the puzzle fit together.

In my mind chemistry is a lot like “love at first site”. Everything feels right but nothing has been developed yet that acts as the glue to the relationship. Over time, the chemistry will probably die down and the glue that holds the relationship together ( honesty, communication, and laughter) becomes stronger. Chemistry alone cannot sustain a relationship.

I also think about compatibility when I think about chemistry. And when I think about compatibility, I often start to wonder which one, chemistry or compatibility, is more important to the success of a relationship. I definitely believe if you are missing chemistry in the beginning, then you’re wasting your time and compatibility cannot overcome a lack of chemistry, no matter how hard you try. Therefore, a good mix of the two with some friendship, affection, love and passion in the mix is ideally the combination to a successful relationship.

Bottom line, some of us, if we are lucky, have experienced chemistry ourselves. While some of us have witnessed two people that have this magic between them. Either way, it usually happens so fast that the two people involved do not even see it coming. That’s the beauty of it. And it’s because of this beauty that I feel strongly when I say that if you are lucky enough to have “chemistry” with someone special then you should not let anything get in your way, no matter what curves lie ahead. Consider yourself lucky and enjoy the ride!

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