Have you ever had a “light bulb moment”? You know, been put in a situation where you finally get what people have been telling you all along? I sometimes have these moments…and when I do, they are normally like huge spotlight moments not just little flashlight type moments. This “moment” I had recently was a real wake up call for me… What I learned is that most women DO NOT get approached by men because they think she is moral, funny, smart, or has her head on straight. Nope…it just doesn’t work that way! Most men approach women with the initial intention of sleeping with her, not to make friends with her. Yep, it’s true…how do I know? Well, I asked my guy friends and they all agreed. I mean if you really think about it, most men have male friends already and none of them wear makeup and smell pretty, right?
So, I decided to take my questioning with these men a step further by asking my guy friends what drives them when it comes to women and dating. Most of them said that they are driven by what pleases them visually, and therefore, they act out of instinct and only think in the moment. So based on this information, I believe that if women can be taught to understand a man’s dating behavior, she could possibly be able to control, predict, and successfully learn how to speak “man”, right?
A couple of my friends took it even further and said that when they see women they involuntarily classify them into two groups; would sleep with and wouldn’t sleep with. The “would sleep with group” are women that would normally have the upper hand in a relationship. These are the women who would carefully need to figure out how to sift through the losers. The “wouldn’t sleep with group” are basically not even thought about and ignored by most men. I know this is shallow…but my guy friends said that most men think this way and if they don’t they are lying to themselves and to you.
With these thoughts in the back of my mind I asked my friends how they would classify a woman based on what she is wearing, and here are the four scenarios I gave them along with their conclusions.
Woman dressed in high heels, tight jeans and a fashionable shirt
What a man thinks when he sees this: “This chick is H.O.T, hot! I think she may be the woman I have always been looking for. She obviously wants men to approach her. I can’t imagine being her boyfriend because it would be too much of a challenge dealing with the looks, comments, and thoughts of other men. Is she trying to prove something? I don’t think I could ever take her home to mom.
Conclusion: This girl is way to dangerous to persue for anything long term…maybe a one night stand, but nothing more.
Woman dressed in relaxed jeans, flip flops and a T-shirt
What a man thinks when he sees this: “She is a pretty girl. She is obviously comfortable with her looks. She isn’t too concerned with what other people think about her. She seems pretty approachable and would probably be pretty fun to hang out with.”
Conclusion: On track to the friendship train…Choo Choo!
Woman dressed in business attire with perfect nails and perfect hair
What a man thinks when he sees this: “She is definitely successful. She is career minded and very independent. But will she ever need me to take care of her. I like a woman that I can take care of. She seems a little high maintenance and could be looking for a sugar daddy. She may out think me, out spend me, and possibly even out maneuver me.”
Conclusion: Maybe she could do my taxes or help me with my investments.
Woman dressed in workout clothes and hair in a pony tail with no makeup
What a man thinks when he sees this: “Wow! She is cute and definitely comfortable in her own skin.” This girl is hot and is not even trying. She seems to be down to earth and into taking care of herself, but not shallow and vain. She seems like the girl next door type. Definitely the kind of girl I can take home to my mom. Oh wait…did she just smile at me? I can’t pass up this opportunity…I’m going to introduce myself.”
Conclusion: Oh yeah…this is the girl for me!
Ok…so does this mean that you should stop dressing to feel good when you go out, or stop wearing business suits to work or stop wearing t-shirts and jeans on Saturdays when you are running errands and start wearing your workout clothes everywhere you go? Of course not! This simple survey was just given to my guy friends to help us girls have a better understanding of what the average guy sees when they first meet us… In fact, I wonder what a guy would think if he passed me on the street wearing a pencil skirt, fashionable shirt, tennis shoes and my hair up in a pony tail with no make up on…I bet it would make him go…hmmmmmm?