Wednesday, August 5, 2009

To be or not to be, that is the question

Do you believe in soul mates? I didn’t used to. If I were being honest with you, I used to think the whole concept was kind of corny. But recently I have had the opportunity to rethink this theory. I once read that a soul mate is “someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys that fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we are pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of each other. Our soul mate is one who makes life come to life (Richard Bach).” Recently after reading that I thought, wow, maybe I do have a soul mate.

What do I think a soul mate is, you might ask? My definition of a soul mate is someone that you have connected with on a different level than you have ever connected with anyone else. Someone who understands what you are thinking even before you say anything. Someone who makes you feel completely at ease at all times. A soul mate is someone whom you never doubt that they are telling you the truth. This person makes you feel confident, secure and safe in their presence. When you first meet your soul mate you recognize there is something special between the two of you.

With that being said, I believe I have recently met my soul mate, unfortunately for me, he came in and out of my life so quick that I may never know. Let’s call my soul mate “Mr. Show”. Mr. Show and I have known each other for many years, but lost touch for a lot of them. We recently had the opportunity to reconnect and for this I feel very lucky. I remember the first time I saw him again. The air, which was heavy and warm suddenly became cool and breezy...breezy enough to give me goose bumps. I actually remember turning around at this moment and making eye contact for the first time. His response was a huge smile that melted my heart. I honestly had a feeling come over me that I had never experienced before. It’s hard to put into words, but he also had a similar experience.

He doesn’t live locally, so we only had the opportunity to go on a couple of dates before we had to start the old fashioned, Jane Austen kind of communication…emails. Ok, not that Jane Austen had a computer and could actually email, but written communication is the point I am trying to make. Anyway, on the couple of dates, well actually only one, because the first one didn’t count as a date since I invited him to go out with me and my friends…isn’t it only a date when the guy asks you out? Maybe that‘s the old fashioned girl in me…who knows. Sorry for the side banter…anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, our date/dates…were fabulous! Conversation was awesome, continual, interesting…never a moment where we struggled for topics. He was the kind of guy that was genuinely interested in the things I had to say and vise verse. My friends loved him and thought that the connection we had was amazing! We also went on what we both considered to be the best date ever. We had the same sense of humor and laughed constantly. The physical attraction and chemistry was there as well. For those of you wanting detail…it ain’t gonna happen so don’t email me later today to get the scoop. A girl never kisses and tells!

Anyway, my point being, all of the pieces of the puzzle were coming together in such a short time. Once he left we continued on with our communication via email. We got to know each other on a deeper level without allowing the “physical” part of a relationship to get in the way. I believe, this gave us the opportunity to really get to know each other on an emotional level, which to me is the most important thing in a relationship. I always felt like we connected well, had similar ideals, goals in life and were very encouraging to each other. It’s like we were on the same wave length, always on the same page. We accepted each other for who we were and who we wanted to become. Honestly, I had never had this kind of connection with anyone, not even my ex husband.

Unfortunately, that’s where it ended, a couple of great dates and weeks worth of written communication and we hit an impasse that he couldn’t seem to get through. And poof, Mr. Show drifted out of my life as fast as he drifted in. And this saddens me. It also makes me wonder if a soul mate can be a soul mate even though you aren’t proactively a part of each others lives. And if this is the case, then how do you know it? Do you leave the door open in case his dreams don’t pan out? Do you close the door and consider it a fluke? What happens next? I may never know, but this I do know…I have always been a hopeless romantic, a believer in true love, of destined souls finding one another, meant to be together. And that thought, I will hold onto forever…

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