Dear Coffee Guy...or as I like to call you, Steve,
Thank you so much for arriving at our planned destination five minutes early so that you wouldn't have to buy me a cup of coffee. Thank you also, for smiling warmly at me when I looked you in the eye upon arrival. Hello, it's me! The picture I sent you was a picture of me taken just a few days ago...I know you recognized me. How do I know this? Becuase you went on and on about how pretty I was in our past conversations.
Maybe those first two initial thoughts should have been red flags. But again, against my better judgment, I decided to stay and tried to have an actual conversation with you to see if we were more than just two single people being fixed up on a date by a computer generated program.
Oh how I wish I would have gone with my initial instinct and left then instead of waiting for you to openly talk about your favorite kind of movies. For future reference, porn is not a good answer, especially on a "get to know you date."
I would say thank you for the cup of coffee, but you didn't buy me one. I would also say thank you for the good conversation, but we didn't have one. I can only say thank you for saying "I'll call you" at the end of our "special time" together, because only guys that are planning on NOT calling say they will call.
One final note, I received the following text message from you five minutes after we parted ways. Ummmm...I don't think it was intended for me.
"You are the light of my life and after the not so exciting coffee date I just had, I am ready to make amends and try to work things out with you. The grass definately is not greener on the other side, you were right all along! I love you."
Based on this text message, I would like to offer you the following advice,
1. DO NOT send a text message asking for forgiveness
2. DO NOT talk about a bad date in said text message
3. DO try a face to face apology with flowers and a nice dinner
It's no wonder why you are still single.
Good luck in life,
Ms. You don't know what you are missing