Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Oh it's on like donkey kong

I’ve always heard that there is no pain like that of a parent watching their child suffer. I never thought this was true until it recently happened to me.

Never fear, my kids aren’t sick, oh no, they are perfectly normal and healthy. If by perfectly normal you mean never wanting to take a shower, never wanting to do their homework, never wanting to stop to eat, never doing anything I ask without first complaining, etc. etc., etc.

But let’s set that “normalcy” aside for a moment and focus on the moment that I actually felt heartbreak for my child. It is a moment that I will never ever forget.

Most dads will think I’m crazy, but lucky for me most of the mom’s reading this will be breathing a sigh of relief because they too have experienced these emotions at one time or another and will hopefully feel like their feelings are somewhat validated after reading this story.

It all started last week as I was driving through the neighborhood after work. I drove past the pool clubhouse, which is just around the corner from my house, and I saw what looked like Gibby, my six year old, sitting with his legs curled up, and his head down in the middle of the parking lot. My first thought was “what the hell is my child doing sitting in the middle of the pool parking lot?” But as I got closer I felt a well of emotion coming up my throat.

I pulled into the parking lot and could hear him crying. He hadn’t seen me yet, so I know his emotions were real. And my heart suddenly ached like it never had before. I, for the life of me, could not figure out what had happened that would make him cry like that. Then I started to panic, I wondered if something had happened to his brother, or perhaps my dad, who lives with us. All sorts of scenarios had played out ever so quickly in my mind.

So I quietly walk up to him and he lifts his head and much to my surprise, supporting his behavior were two giant alligator tears streaming down his face. He was definitely hurt by something, but what I didn’t know. So I tried my best to get it out of him

Me: Geeker (that’s what I call him, don’t judge) what’s wrong? Why all the tears?

Gibson: The older girls at the park are making fun of me.

Me: Why are they making fun of you?

Gibson: They say I have a girlfriend.

Me: Do you have a girlfriend?

Gibson: Yes.

Me: (shocked and suddenly feeling sick to my stomach) Who is it?

Gibson: Marissa (a little girl in his class who often comes over for play dates)

Me: So why are you upset?

Gibson: Because they are laughing and saying we are “kissing in a tree

Me: Honey, this is what happens when boys and girls play together. Did you ask them to stop?

Gibson: Yes, but they just kept making fun of me.

Me: You have to act like their comments don’t bother you. They are only making fun of you because they know it makes you mad.

Gibson: I tried, but I can’t mommy! They are still mean.

(frazzled…I don’t know what else to say…so yes, I stoop to this level)

Me: Well then you just have to make fun of them back (I know, I’m not proud but desperate times call for desperate measures).

Gibson: I tried that too mommy, but I don’t know enough about them to make fun of them. (touché!)

Me: Well then you are just going to have to get broader shoulders honey. In the future you could try something like, “I’m rubber, your glue, whatever bounces off me sticks to you.”

Gibson: (looking at me like I’m crazy) I don’t even know what that means mommy.

Me: Me either, but I don’t know what else to tell you.

I finally convinced him to come in the house with me to have a snack. As we were sitting at the kitchen table it was like a light bulb popped on over his head…

Gibson: Hey mom, can we talk about this later? I want to go back to the park.

Me: Sure honey, have fun…and keep smiling, don’t let the older kids bother you.

Gibson: yeah…ok mommy!

I sat at the table all proud of myself thinking that it was something I must have said to him that gave him the courage to want to get back up and go fight his own battle.

Ten minutes later…

Gibson: (running in from the outside all excited) Mommy! Mommy!

Me: What?

Gibson: Guess what?

Me: What?

Gibson: I figured out how to get the older girls to stop making fun of me and Marissa.

Me: How?

Gibson: I took two light sabers outside, one red and one green. I took the red one because it is Anakin’s light saber. Mom, did you know that Anakin is the best fighter in Star Wars? Well except for maybe Darth Vader but he actually dies in one of the movies. You know what my favorite part of Star….

Me: Gibson, get to the point!

Gibson: Well, I challenged one of the girls to a light saber fight and I won.

Me: Oh really, how did you win.

Gibson: I clocked her in the back of the knees when she wasn’t looking and she fell to the ground.

And that , my friends, is the difference between how boys and girls settle arguments! It’s a lesson we all should take seriously!


  1. Ha Ha Ha Ha HA : ) I think you did what any mother would do : ). I am glad he won with the light sabers! AND, I think Geeker is a great name : )

  2. Go Gibby Go ..... uncle M.

  3. As a parent I am shocked and appalled by your horrific behavior! Ok yeah I'm really not. In fact I'm actually taking notes! :) There is nothing like seeing your child with hurt feelings. I mean I didn't even think pain like that existed.
    Thanks for this post. Really adorable.
    PS: That first sentence sounded pretty good didn't it? :)

  4. ha! oh boy, a lightsabre match. i love it. happy sits day!!

  5. ahhhhhhhh i'm ROFL!!!! ... um but i should be sleeping so lemme go get to that too =) too cute!

  6. THAT? Is friggin' awesome. You sound like my kind of parent!

    Happy SITS Day!

  7. Happy SITS Day! As the mother of 2 boys myself (and step-mom to another) I've seen my share of the light saber style of "solving problems"

  8. Glad he found a way to fight his own battle. Your advice was a bit lame (“I’m rubber, your glue, whatever bounces off me sticks to you.”). What a crack up.

    Congrats on your SITS day!

  9. Great story!! My boy is only 4 months, so his light saber days are a ways off...but I am looking forward to it :)

    Here from SITS...have a great day!

  10. Oh my goodness- *been* there. As the six year old, sadly. I think you handled it with aplomb. ;)

    Happy day!


  11. haha :) Tha's great! For this reason exactly, I was planning on having all boys instead of girls! Ohhh, the drama in my home!

  12. oh I've had so many of those rambling Star Wars conversations, and my guy is only 5.

    awesome story, and I have to say the line about experiencing your child's heartbreak as if it were your own [on steroids!] - no dad will ever get it. But man it gets me every time.

    Here from SITS - congrats on yr day!!

  13. That is so awesome! Happy SITS day!

  14. Awesome story! How funny that he would think of using light sabers... that's something that would happen in my house too!

    Congrats on your Sits day!

  15. That is too funny! Geeker is an awesome name! Happy SITS day!

  16. That one cracked me up. And I remember a few desperate times when the words, "Just punch that kid in the mouth!" *somehow* seemed like an appropriate piece of advice to give the heartbroken little boy who had been meanly taunted. I held back, truly....but I thought it. ; )

    Happy SITS day!

  17. I LOVE it! I wish adult arguments could be settled this way...although I am not certain of my light saber prowess.

    Found your blog on SITS...after a post like that, I am going to keep reading!
    BTW, I call my son Junebug (Kelly Jr) and the older one Bubba (Ayden). They've been raised in Texas.

  18. Man, if only little girls could handle arguements like that instead of terrorizing each other for years on end!

  19. Great instant-mommy advice! Heck, your baby's hurt; gotta fix it. What you did was give him a safe haven (snack) to get his thoughts together. He also realized he wasn't old enough to compete with a female mind (are they ever?) and the light sabers would make up the difference...

  20. That is hilarious! Way to go Gibson!!!

  21. LOL - that's awesome! And so very true.

  22. That is hilarious and exactly how my 6yo would have solved the problem.


  23. Funny funny funny! My 7-year-old is a huge fan of Star Wars. I'm sure this idea would go down well with him next time someone is mean.{joshua well how funny/} OK that little bit there was written by the young man in question as I jumped up to get the door... he is very keen to meet another star wars fan. OK this now has totally nothing to do with your most excellent post. But Josh (a.k.a. "Dash" on my blog) is keen to know how old Gibby is??? He is impressed with his renowned light saber skills! PS Happy SITS day, I'll be following :)
    Luv Simone

  24. Happy SITS Day! (Just a few days late! Sorry been working on a BIG project at work!)

    Have you been at my house? When you raise boys it's just tough to get on that testosterone level!!

    I'll be following!

  25. How funny! Isn't it fun to see the world and its troubles through the eyes of a son :0) I just never knew until I had a boy of my own how truly different they really are. Now my guys all grown up with a child of his own and karma gave him a daughter :0)

  26. Way to go. I gave my son a few "yo mama" jokes for the boys that were making fun of him. I never said I was good at this.

    Coming over from SITs



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