I can't hear you over the sound of how pretty you are

I’m embarrassed and ashamed! There I said it! Quite honestly, I never thought I would become this kind of woman, but I have. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I am actually glad that the winter Olympics are over! I know, I hate to even put those words in writing because it makes me sound so un-American.

But the truth of the matter is this…

I didn’t deserve to watch the Olympics because I can’t appreciate the athletes for who they are and what they have accomplished…oh no, I have a sick and twisted mind. You see, I’m not the kind of person that can just enjoy a day at the zoo with my kids, oh no. I have to be sure to check out every cute dad that walks by. I can’t go to the grocery store without a little lipstick. What if Prince Charming walks in while I’m there? I can’t plan my work attire based on the meetings I am having that day. I have to plan my attire based on who is going to be attending said meetings. I’m sick, I’m twisted, and I’m embarrassed.

I thought I had grown up, matured and changed, but I haven’t.

Nope, I haven’t changed one bit, but I have hit ROCK BOTTOM, yep, I have. Truth be told, I couldn’t even watch the Olympics for the pure athleticism of these men and women. Nope! Not me! While everyone was standing around the water cooler talking about how awesome the athletes were, I couldn’t grasp the concept of how much time and energy someone like, this…



must have put into racing around in circles day after day after day. Oh no, I couldn’t appreciate his commitment and hard work. I couldn’t appreciate it, because every time I saw him in competition, I couldn’t help but picture this



I can’t help it, my mind wanders…

What about him…



…Bode Miller? Look at him! Look at the position his body is in. But can I appreciate that his body is in the position while going 80mph? Nope, not me, because when I think of Bode Miller, I can’t help but visualize this…



Hot, isn’t it? When I think of this picture, I fantasize that it is me (and not the camera) that he is looking at while playing with the…ahem…hose. Look at those dreamy eyes and chest muscles…I can only imagine!

I can’t help it, my mind wanders…

What about Christof Innerhofer? Look at the determination on his face.



You can almost feel the power and energy that he has to use to contort his body in a way that makes him fast and tight. But I can’t appreciate it because I only see this



Look at those biceps and delicate baby boy facial features. I just have one word for you…Yummy!

I can’t help it, my mind wanders…

I tried. I really did. I tried so hard to get into cross country skiing and Kris Freeman. Believe me, I know how difficult it is. I’m not a skier. In fact the first time I ever skied I had difficulty walking to the chair lift in my skis. In fact, I got pumbled by the chair lift. They had to stop it until I could get up. So believe me, I know how difficult Cross Country skiing can be. But I can’t appreciate the hard work and dedication that Kris Freeman has here…



Because when I think of Kris Freeman, I see this fantastic specimen of a human being…



Seriously who looks like this?

But again, I can’t help it, my mind wanders.

And here is Kyle Nissen. He is amazing. In my mind anyone that can fly down a ski slope, do multiple twists in the air and land without breaking anything is either a freak of nature, or so phenomenally built that I can’t even stand it. But can I appreciate this?



No way, because when the guys around the water cooler start talking about Kyle, all I can think about is this…



I can’t help it, my mind wanders.

And finally, I have to give a thumbs up to the Canadian hockey team…they rocked it out this year. What an unbelievable gold medal game against the USA, right? Unfortunately, that’s me blowing BS because I honestly have no clue as to the details of that game. Because when I watch him



All I see is this.



I can’t help it, my mind wanders.

I know I have a problem. But it’s a problem that I haven’t come to terms with yet. I know they say you have to hit rock bottom before you can be successful with any kind of addiction recovery. But quite frankly, I’m not ready to deal with it. I have hit rock bottom in the sense that I can’t appreciate awesome atheletes for their accomplishments. But I don’t think there is anything wrong with admiring the human form. And until you can convince me otherwise, I may never recover!

I just have one question for you…when are the summer olymics?