I don’t know about you guys, but I loathe doing homework with my third grader. I know, I know…it’s only third grade…I have a lot of years ahead of me. I get it, but I don’t like it. Hamilton is a great student, but he’s a boy…bottom line! He would rather be out playing in the yard, digging holes in the ground, kicking ass and taking names at the neighborhood football game or burning worms with nothing but the sun and a magnifying glass. Come to think of it, he would rather do ANYTHING over homework, and by anything I mean, clean toilets, fold laundry, and clean out his closet.
Most nights we get through homework without any real meltdowns, but last night, that was not the case. He fought me every moment of the way on every ounce of his homework. By the time we got to his spelling words, I had had it! So, with every ounce of my being…I gave in. Gave in to what, you might ask. I decided if we were going to get through his homework, we were going to do it my way.
It may not have been the right way, oh who am I kidding, it was NOT the right way, but I was tired and wanted to get some other things done.
The goal…write each spelling word three times in your neatest handwriting. And as tradition has it, I usually make up funny, kid friendly sentences when giving Hamilton his spelling words. But last night was different…
So without further ado, here are the sentences I read to him last night.
I AM NOT PROUD!
1. If you don’t change your attitude mister, my hand will be meeting your bare butt tonight.
2. Are we almost done, mommy needs wine.
3. Whose stupid idea was it to make you write your words three times each? (sorry Mrs. Robinson, you know we love you!)
4. Will we get in trouble if we bury your homework in a hole in the backyard?
5. I pray that we can get through this spelling list without beating the crap out of each other.
6. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
7. I worry that my bad attitude about homework will rub off on you one day.
8. Is homework really worth it?
9. Do whatever you want Hamilton, I don’t care anymore.
10. Will there ever be a day that we can get through your homework without crying? (and by crying, I mean me crying, not Hamilton)
11. You can stuff your sorries in a sack mister.
12. One day I hope to look back on this night and laugh.
13. I used to look at homework time as special bonding time, now I refer to it as a burden.
14. We have spent way too much time on this assignment.
15. Does 3rd grade homework really help you fulfill any sort of requirements for college?
16. Show me where it says that you have to do homework in the third grade.
17. Tomorrow will be a better day because it will be your dad’s night to do homework.
18. I am already stressed about Thursday night’s homework.
19. I am not the glue that holds this family together.
20. This homework assignment is sucking the joy right out of me.
Here’s to a better tomorrow!