Thursday, March 25, 2010

Driving Ms. Crazy

I, like most bloggers, have files and files of topics that I want to talk about. Some are funny, some are sad, some are silly and some are…well shall I say NOT good fodder for a full article but worth a comment or two. So today I just thought I would roam through these files and share some random thoughts with you on current events.

Stick with me…I promise it will be worth the read!

TOPIC: Health Care Bill
It’s no secret that I am against the healthcare bill. I’m not thrilled about a bill being passed that was written by a Congress who exempts themselves from it. It’s just not right. But the worst part…who the hell is going to tell the cast of the Jersey Shore that there is a 10% tanning bed tax written into the bill?

TOPIC: Kanye West
I cringe every time I see this egomaniac on TV or hear one of his songs on the radio. If I had my chance to say one thing to Kanye it would be something along these lines…”Dude, let’s try not to interrupt, accuse, or threaten anyone who is black, white or Asian based on skin color, health care, or how awesome Beyonce’s video was. It’s just not cool.”

TOPIC: 2009
Let’s never speak of that year again…I think it goes without any further explanation.

TOPIC: Online Dating
You either love it or hate it. Right now I hate it. I gave up on online dating when I realized I was gaining my self esteem from not responding to people who contacted me on these sites. Now with that said…I’m not making any promises that I won’t wake up tomorrow after having an epiphany that somehow I think online dating is the direction I need to take. So I am going to ask you not to judge me if that ever happens.

TOPIC: The Oprah Phenomena
Am I the only one secretly excited that Oprah’s show ends for good in September? What do you want to bet that the media starts talking about this in the next month or two? So here’s my two cents, before the media talks the story to death.

Time is running out to cash in on
1. A made up memoir
2. The use of a medical degree to get a TV show
3. Jumping on a couch as a means of declaring your heterosexuality to the world
4. Favorite things…because everyone needs an HDTV Refrigerator with Weather and Info Center

TOPIC: Jerry Seinfeld
I only have one thing to say about him…it’s like his acting has improved almost to the point where I believe he thinks the Marriage Ref is funny…Yawnfest!

TOPIC: Jesse James
What is it with these guys who surround themselves with great women and then throw it all away for one (or several)skanks? In fact, I find it shocking that Jesse Jame’s text-loving-stripper-mom-mistress never slept with Tiger Woods. Mark my words, I bet you a million dollars right now that there is a “six degree’s of separation” kind of thing between the women of Jesse James, Tiger Woods, Jon Edwards, Eric Benet and Bill Clinton…Oh yeah people, bookmark this post because when the love triangle comes out in the media you are going to say to yourself, “huh, I read this prediction on a fabulous blog a few months ago.”

TOPIC: Time Change
I hate the reminder twice a year…”Set your clocks back, spring your clocks forward”. Why don’t they just say it like we all see it, “I’ll be late on Monday because I ignored the excessive warnings about the time change.”

TOPIC: Twilight
Again, I just have one thing to say about this series. “Let’s pretend that there is nothing alarming about a tween fantasy movie that causes cougars to think about statutory rape. I’m just saying…

TOPIC: Mikhail Baryshnikov
Ok…this may not be a current event, but you have to admit…he is a wee beautiful man…
(pictured here with world renowned photographer Annie Liebowitz)

His face…chizzled
His arms…so ripped
His abs…more like an 8 pack
His legs…fit like none I have ever seen
His feet….wait, what huh? His feet? Yes…take a closer look

I have three words to describe his feet…


I guess that’s what years of dancing will do to you!

And last but not least…

TOPIC: Lindsay Lohan
Hey Lindsay, if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and acts like a duck, it’s probably a duck! Might I add, if it walks like an alcoholic drug addict, talks like an alcoholic drug addict, and acts like an alcoholic drug addict, then it’s probably an alcoholic drug addict. By the way…blaming the etrade people for naming their milkaholic baby Lindsay is a huge stretch for you…find another battle to fight.

1 comment:

  1. <3

    So totally with you on the vast majority of this. Especially Oprah. I never drank the cool-aid on that one, nor have I ever read an Oprah Book Club book. Bother. I mean, good for her for working it but she's a human being, folks, not an idol to be worshiped.



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