Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Wonder twin powers...activate
Have you ever dreamt about being a superhero?
Have you ever thought that maybe you could save the world from a disaster one day and be an invisible fly on the wall of your child’s first date the next day?
Have you ever thought about what it would be like if you could choose your own super power?
Well, last night I saw a commercial on television for a show about a family that has suddenly realized that they have developed superhuman abilities based on their inadequacies. And of course, as usual, this got me thinking about me and what I would want my superhuman power to be if I had a choice.
I immediately started thinking about the area of my life where I am lacking most. And because I am immersed in the nightmarish puzzle that I like to call the world of dating, I think I would like to develop the ability to decipher the truth in relationships.
You see, I have this sense of empathy for people that seems to do me more harm than good. I like to see good in everyone, which often keeps me from acknowledging the red flags in relationships early on. And because of this empathy I’m the one that usually gets hurt in the long run.
I so wished I would have had this superhuman power to know the truth in my relationship, or whatever it was, with the Hot Fireman. From the get go he seemed too good to be true. I should have gone with my gut from day one and moved on after the first date, but I chose to overlook the giant red flag that I saw that night and gave him the benefit of the doubt, because that’s the kind of person I am. Of course it was this one particular red flag that stuck with me from the beginning and drove me absolutely batty throughout.
I was very clear with the Hot Fireman from the beginning that communication and honesty were very important to me. Now let me clarify this statement. I’m not the kind of girl that uses phrases like “we need to talk”. That’s not the kind of communication I’m talking about. The communication I’m talking about is being open, truthful and honest at all times. Honestly, can you really start a relationship based on lies? No! The other person is going to sooner or later figure it out and then you will just look like a tool.
I won’t go into detail about what my red flag was with the Hot Fireman, but it did stick with me throughout our relationship. And every time he cancelled a date on me, which was ALL of the time, it reared it’s ugly head and I became more and more suspicious of him and his motives every single day. In the end I feel like my suspicions were confirmed when I got a phone call from a strange woman wanting to know what my relationship was with him. It’s a call that I never thought I would get, but was not surprised when I got it.
I may never know what really happened with the Hot Fireman, but because he just stopped calling one day I have no choice but to think that there was more to him than he let on. Which is too bad, because I think he is a great dad and has a lot to offer someone some day. Unfortunately his happily ever after, wasn't going to be with me. I understand that everyone has baggage, and I am a strong believer that there is usually nothing that two people who are right for each other can’t work through, with a little bit of honesty, and trust. He knew that I was willing to be someone he could trust and rely on, but I guess that wasn’t enough…and that makes me sad!