Open Letters

Dear Real Housewives of whatever city,

You do not live in the real world.  It doesn't matter how many times you say it out loud, it won't make it true.  If you want a sample of the real world, come to my house where I'm living paycheck to paycheck, supporting two kids with no nannies, chefs or trainers.

Good day,
Me (someone who has real friends that love each other and refrain from calling each other bitches and whores behind each others backs)
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Dear Hamilton and Gibson,

If I can hear you talking then you are NOT brushing your teeth properly.

Sincerely,
The Tooth Fairy
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Dear Mumford and Sons,

My head told my heart to let love grow, but my heart told my head, this time no.  Thanks for the advice.

Sincerely,
Me, the one who gets blamed for being too picky
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Dear Friend,

I AM nervous about my upcomming knee surgery.  Stop playing it down by saying things like "it's no big deal" or "everyone has this surgery." or "really?  that's all it is?"

It's surgery!  Stop being a B*%^& and maybe ask "what do you need?" or "how can I help?" every once in a while.

Sincerely,
For once, let it be about me and not you
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Dear Ex,

Thank you for uttering the words "I'm sorry".  It means alot, even after all these years.

Sincerely,
Me
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Dear work,

Thank you for giving us 5 service days a year!  I spent my Saturday night making capes for kids at the Peyton Manning Hospital and I can't think of anything else I would have rather been doing.

Sincerely,
A grateful employee
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Dear Me,

Hang in there.  I know it's been a tough year!  There are only 9 weeks left in 2012.  You can do anything for 9 more weeks!  2013 will be a better year, I just know it!!!

Sincerely,
Me
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Dear Gangnem style,

Is it just me, or am I the only person who thinks your song is the Korean version of "Call Me Maybe"?

Sincerely,
Just picking at nothing
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Dear single boys from high school,

You have gotten hotter with age!  Makes me wish I would have gone to the big bash last weekend!

Sincerely,
My loss
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