So…Match.com…yeah, it’s not my favorite thing in the world, but it’s a necessity for someone like myself who likes to stay in more than I like to go out. Don’t get me wrong, I like to go out, and I like to have fun, but I only go out when I have a plan, I don’t like to go out just to go out. I had to find a way to be more social and put myself out there to the world, and by world I mean eligible bachelors. It seemed like a good solution six weeks ago.
I’m not gonna lie, I have met a great guy on Match, let’s call him Mr. Great Guy. But it is still too early in the game to know what the future may hold. Let’s just say I’m keeping my fingers crossed, he’s a good catch. At the same time that I met Mr. Great Guy, I also met Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster. As you can tell by their names, they are two totally different guys.
The main difference between the two, well, I think you can assume what that is by their names alone, so let’s say the 2nd main difference between the two is that I have spent some time with Mr. Great Guy, I haven’t ever met Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster in person…and I never will.
Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster and I had been trying to find a time to meet for a drink, but our schedules were difficult and it never worked out, until this week. We had plans to meet for a drink tonight. But last night, I had to cancel due to a last minute work thing. Secretly, I was relieved as I wasn’t really excited about meeting Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster in person. He wasn’t really my type and he had to convince me to meet him. That is never a good sign.
Anyway, I knew he had his daughter last night and it would be difficult to talk, so I shot him a quick text message to see if I could have a rain check. I didn’t really want a rain check, but I thought it was the nice thing to do.
I thought you might enjoy our brief yet drama filled text conversation.
Me: Hey, I just found out I have to sit in a meeting tomorrow that will probably last until 6:30 or 7…can I have a rain check on drinks?
Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster: Hey. It is fine. I have been on Match long enough to understand what this means. It was nice to meet you. Take Care.
Me: Wow! Thanks for judging and trusting me before you even get to know me.
Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster: No problem. Take care as I said. I got approval to get off work early. It’s not a big deal. Bye.
Me: Look, if I didn’t want to go out with you I would tell you, but the fact that you immediately thought I was lying is enough for me to know that we wouldn’t have been a good match anyway.
Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster: I agree, it is a bad match. I don’t want to play games. I’m sure your Mr. Right is out there. Just not someone who cancels a day before because they all of the sudden had to work. Take care.
Me: Wow! It’s no wonder your single! Your ability to be flexible is awesome! If I cared enough I would send you the message from my boss, but I don’t. Thanks for calling me a game player. Please don’t ever contact me again.
Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster: No worries on that. You are very insulting.
Me: (crickets…no reply)…at this point I’m done with this dude.
But then, I wake up to this text message from him this morning…
Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster: I want to apologize for my reaction last night. Not that I’m trying to make excuses but I have a younger cousin who has Chrones Disease and is in bad shape. We are back to square one. So I am sorry, I was in a horrible mood over this and took it out on our conversation. I didn’t want to leave you with a bad taste about me. We thought he had a donor for a new liver and I was texting him while I was texting you and found out the donor was not the match they thought it was. I’m a good person and sometimes I let my emotions get the better of me. I wish you the best and hope you find what you are looking for. Take care.
I kid you not, that is our text conversation verbatim!
In a way I feel bad. I am a very compassionate person and I wouldn’t wish his situation on anyone, but on the other hand, I don’t want to reply to his last message and open it up for more conversation.
Now…I’m off to remove my profile from Match.
If things with Mr. Great Guy work out, I would be thrilled, but if they don’t I am not willing to subject myself to anymore people like Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster. I just don’t have the energy
I feel your pain sista.
ReplyDeleteIf you’re asking for my opinion which you aren’t really… I think you should stay on Match until your subscription is up. You don’t have to actively participate…just keep all options open!
ReplyDeleteEver wonder why things just don't seem to work out for you?
ReplyDeleteOh yes! I realize I am the common denominator in all of these events! I have never claimed to be innocent in all of this. In fact, more often than not, I openly admit my faults in blog posts too.
DeleteDo you let the guys you date know that they are going to be written about in an open internet forum? It seems pretty disrespectful in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteNo, I usually don't let guys know that I am writing about them. It's kind of like you leaving an anonymous comment...you are speaking your mind, behind a different name and that's no different than what I am doing.
DeleteHi. I found you blog and it looked interesting to me so I read some of your stories. As with most things, I can agree with some and not with others. I don’t think you are being honest with your Thursday, February 2, 2012 post.
ReplyDeleteI think you were trying to pick an argument with a prospective date so you wouldn’t have to follow through with something you didn’t want in the first place. I point to the following two passages:
“Secretly, I was relieved as I wasn’t really excited about meeting Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster in person. He wasn’t really my type and he had to convince me to meet him. That is never a good sign.”
“I shot him a quick text message to see if I could have a rain check. I didn’t really want a rain check”
And then during the text exchange you said the following:
“Me: Wow! Thanks for judging and trusting me before you even get to know me.”
But that’s exactly what you did to the person on the other end of text. You judged him before you got to know him. And why did you continue to contact him when you seemingly didn’t want to meet him? “I didn’t really want a rain check”
This is confusing.
“In a way I feel bad.” is not very compassionate even though in the continuing sentence you state “I am a very compassionate person” and to prove this you state “I wouldn’t wish his situation on anyone”.
“In a way I feel bad.” can also be read as “In lots of ways I don’t feel bad.”
This is confusing.
I do have to admit though you do have some smarts as illustrated here: “I don’t want to reply to his last message and open it up for more conversation.” This is a very mature response.
“Now…I’m off to remove my profile from Match.”
Why do that? One of the other commenters, Danielle's Dish stated “If you’re asking for my opinion which you aren’t really… I think you should stay on Match until your subscription is up. You don’t have to actively participate…just keep all options open!” This is a smart observation and response. If you believe you have to remove your profile because of the situation you described here, it doesn’t ring true. Why is one small story the cause of all this commotion?
“I don’t know what the difference is about me writing about my experiences vs. me sharing them over a drink with my girlfriend.”
I’ll tell you what the difference is. The difference is a private conversation between two people and a discussion in shared forum with lots of ears. And this is not a discussion at an open microphone in a club somewhere rather this is a forum that remains public forever. Consider this. This reply is in regard to something you wrote about in February. That was seven months ago.
I think you should still talk about things with your girlfriends and not write this on your public blog.
I do hope you find peace.