Someone once told me that a lack of passion is fatal.
I never believed it…until now.
Recently I was asked to write a very brief presentation on my passion and I froze. Do you know why I froze? I froze because I had no idea what my passion was. I had lost sight of it and it scared me. It scared me to the core.
I was desperately pulling at strings. My mind wondered all over the place. I could not figure out what my passion was. I cried. I sat in silence. I became frantic. Nothing came to my mind.
Then it hit me!
This is why I was scared…
Yep! That calendar is why I lost my passion.
That calendar is just a month in my life. The majority of the things on that calendar occur after the hour of 5pm. I have two very busy boys and I’m just one person. Oh, they have a dad. A dad who is pretty helpful, but he is a dad that most nights is not home before 8pm.
I am up at 5:30am every morning and don’t stop until about 9:30pm every night. There is not one moment between those two hours that is stagnant. Nope, we are constantly going. It is stressful. I don’t have a lot of help with my kids, therefore, I don’t have a lot of free time, hence the reason why I’m single too. Who has time for things we are passionate about, let alone dating, with a calendar like that?
Looking at that calendar, however, made me remember what I was once passionate about…and am desperately trying to be passionate about again.
It was once THAT haven for me. That haven that I NEEDED every day to feel complete. There once was a time, that if I didn’t write each day, it affected my mood. Because of that picture above, it quickly became something that I didn’t think about for days on end. And I don’t ever want to be there again!
I want to write…I need to write…it is who I am. It makes me a better mom. It makes me a better employee. It makes me a better friend.
“You don’t write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald