Monday, September 24, 2012

Passion is no ordinary word

Someone once told me that a lack of passion is fatal. 

I never believed it…until now.

Recently I was asked to write a very brief presentation on my passion and I froze.  Do you know why I froze?  I froze because I had no idea what my passion was.  I had lost sight of it and it scared me.  It scared me to the core.

I was desperately pulling at strings.  My mind wondered all over the place.  I could not figure out what my passion was.  I cried.  I sat in silence.  I became frantic.  Nothing came to my mind.
Then it hit me!  

This is why I was scared…

Yep!  That calendar is why I lost my passion.  

That calendar is just a month in my life.  The majority of the things on that calendar occur after the hour of 5pm.  I have two very busy boys and I’m just one person.  Oh, they have a dad.  A dad who is pretty helpful, but he is a dad that most nights is not home before 8pm. 

I am up at 5:30am every morning and don’t stop until about 9:30pm every night.  There is not one moment between those two hours that is stagnant.  Nope, we are constantly going. It is stressful.  I don’t have a lot of help with my kids, therefore, I don’t have a lot of free time, hence the reason why I’m single too.  Who has time for things we are passionate about, let alone dating, with a calendar like that?

Looking at that calendar, however, made me remember what I was once passionate about…and am desperately trying to be passionate about again. 


It was once THAT haven for me.  That haven that I NEEDED every day to feel complete.  There once was a time, that if I didn’t write each day, it affected my mood.  Because of that picture above, it quickly became something that I didn’t think about for days on end.  And I don’t ever want to be there again!
I want to write…I need to write…it is who I am.  It makes me a better mom.  It makes me a better employee.  It makes me a better friend.

“You don’t write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald

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