Wednesday, August 25, 2010

What's a girl to do but wash, rinse and repeat

I’ve done it again!

I can’t help it.

It’s a bad habit, and we all know that bad habits take at least 21 days to overcome. But for some reason, this is one that I can’t kick in the butt!

Now that I have totally freaked out all of my close friends…NO it’s not what you are thinking! I’ve promised I would never do THAT again, and I’ve stuck to far! You can all breathe a sigh of relief.

on a side note: if I do ever decide to do THAT again, please don’t judge me…just know that it was a moment of weakness that I couldn’t control!

The “that” that I am referring to now is this stupid thing called online dating.

It sucks every single time I do it. In fact, I don’t know why I do it. It’s like a bad penny, it just rears its ugly head when I least expect it, and I can’t control it. These dating sites, have what they call “free weekends” and every time, I get suckered into it. And every time…I REGRET IT. I think I convince myself by telling myself, that going out with losers has got to be better than sitting home on a Saturday night enjoying the company of a good book and a bottle of wine. But what I have learned is that not much beats a good book and a nice bottle of wine. No matter what I tell myself.

But, I’m in it for the next three months. SUCKER!

Oh yeah, I’m also into P90X for the next three months. I started Monday night and let me tell you, I can’t decide between online dating and P90X which one is I hate most…quite frankly, they both suck worse than a hooker at a Democratic convention.

But I digress…back to my loser life…

I was chatting with a couple of guys from one of the horrid online dating sites.

The first one, I will call “Tall Boy”…after all he was something like 6 foot 6…maybe even taller, I can’t remember. Whatever the case, he was over 6 foot 4 so in my book he was tall, hence the name, Tall Boy.

Tall Boy and I only chatted for a couple of days. It turns out we had a lot of friends in common, we went to rival high schools that were only about 10 miles apart. One of the first emails I received from him he told me he was in a horrible car accident in college and has been confined to a wheel chair ever since…just my luck, I finally meet a “tall guy” (my number one requirement) and he uses a wheel chair. He was super sweet in his email and said that he was ok if I was not ok with the fact that he used a wheel chair. I responded and let him know that honestly, I had no idea how I felt about it, but I definitely didn’t see a reason why we couldn’t get to know one another in the meantime. He asked me out for a drink, I accepted with the stipulation that we were going to have to wait a week because my kids had just started school and football, and as a single mom, trying to work out their schedules alone was very overwhelming.

Guess what…I never heard from him again! “poof”…just like that he was gone.

But I’m cool with that.

The second one, I will call “Hot Fireman”. Hot Fireman, was just that, hot and a fireman. Let me break it down even more, hot + fireman = Hot Fireman. I know, I’m a genius when it comes to naming the characters in my life. Anyway, the Hot Fireman and I communicated via email and text for over a week. He did the cool thing and actually asked me out on a date a couple of days ahead of time.

For those of you that aren’t single…this is very rare. Anymore, most men ask you out at the last minute…I can only assume it’s because nothing better has come along and they don’t want to sit at home by themselves with a good book and a bottle of wine on a Saturday night (you see the viscious cycle that is my dating life).

So Hot Fireman asks me if I want to play a round of golf. I was hesitant. After all, I hadn’t played a round of golf since last summer, and the only time I actually stepped foot on a golf course this year was at the driving range with the Cute Electrician (do I need to explain to you how this character got his name?). So I declined a game, but gave him the alternative of hitting a bucket of balls with me. I left it open. He called me the next day at the last minute and had to ask for a rain check. But I knew…I knew I would never hear from him again…and I was right, it’s been a week and no word from the Hot Fireman.

And I’m cool with that too. But it does beg the question.

What is the deal with these men? Why can’t they communicate? I’m a big girl. If you have had a change of heart…I can take it. If you’ve met someone else, I can take it. If you have really looked at my profile and are all of the sudden repulsed by it, I can take it. My life isn’t dependent on whether or not we go out, really it isn’t. I have nothing invested in you. If you don’t want to go out with me, I’m ok with that, just let me know and maybe even tell me why.

Because you know what…I deserve nothing less.

The way I see it is if you have balls enough to ask me out, then you should have balls enough to either follow through with the date or tell me why you aren’t following through with the date.

It’s just common courtesy.

So boys…I beg you, suck it up! If you don’t want to go out with me, that’s fine, just tell me…and please do it in a timely manner, and by timely manner, I mean before the liquor store closes on Saturday night, so that I have enough time to get a good bottle of wine. After all, I don’t want to waste my Saturday nights watching Golden Girl reruns if I don’t have to.


  1. Sucky, sucky boys! I have my first real date since my break-up tomorrow. I hope the guy doesn't bail. This date has been quite awhile coming. Here's hoping the universe sends you a decent--no, amazing--guy soon.

  2. I just finished my three-month sentence on a site. What a waste of time. I will never, ever do that again.

  3. You are too funny!

    I totally agree, though. Boys are STUPID!!! Grow a pair, act like a man, and be honest. DON'T just disappear, you assbag!!

  4. I'm just glad I never tried the online dating scene. Sorry gal! God has better for you - perhaps even a "Hot Policeman" in the future!!!

  5. There HAS to be one good one out there for you ... I know it!! Just think of these online dating sites as good blogging material. Why do you think I joined the PTA? Can't wait to read more!

  6. This is so funny because just yesterday I made up a fake profile on to see what was out there... and then I started having a panic attack about potential rejection from online matches and I just couldn't bring myself to do it. That being said, my cousin emailed me this morning to tell me that he has the same problem with the girls he's meeting. They go out, have a nice time, and he never hears from them again. So maybe this post should serve as a reminder to everyone that a bit of courtesy would be appreciated in the dating world. What does it take to shoot someone an email/text/whatever to say "hey, nice to meet you but I've met someone else I click with" or "I'm sorry, I'm just not sure this is going to work." I mean, we're all adults, right?

    Best of luck to you in your online search (and I give you so much credit for balancing all those things! You are like super mommy!!!). Please keep us updated.

    PS: I totally do the same thing with the nicknames :)

  7. Oh, come on, if girls didn't really believe that going out with losers has got to be better than sitting home on a Saturday night enjoying the company of a good book and a bottle of wine, then guys like me would be hosed!

    Single Dad Laughing



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