He's a winner in my book

Before we get started with today's funny, whippy, sarcastic comentary, I thought I would let you know that I am guest posting here today. Come on over to Southern MOMentum and check it out...I love these girls!

Now onto the business at hand...

I have to admit, I didn't watch the Bachelorette last night, shocker! My friend kept me posted via text. I couldn't do it. You know how hard it has been for me to watch this season. I just don't think I could have stomached 2 hours of Ali giggling, twirling and pouting...and then another 1 hour of After the Rose...seriously ABC...enough already!. I think it's funny that we live in such an instant gratification society that we cannot wait one week for the After the Rose show. It has to be done immediately after the Final Rose. And by immediately after, I mean...no commercials in between the two. It's crazy.

Anywho...I did watch After the Rose and will have to say I was completely shocked by the outcome. I had decided that Ali wasn't going to choose either of the hot boys but ask to continue to date them both to see where things ended up. She is just that selfish, I could have seen it happening. You see, I am a firm believer that if Frank didn't walk out on her she would have ended up with him. But that's just my two cents. I do have to give a kudos to ABC for editing things in the previews to look like Ali didn't choose anyone. Bravo ABC...bravo!

Now onto the juice...Cape Cod Chris! Hello Ali...this boy is HOT and has so much more substance than Roberto. Don't get me wrong, I like Roberto and am glad that he and Ali ended up together. I believe Chris deserves someone better than Ali. And by someone better, I mean ME!

Here's the deal Chris (because we all know Chris reads my blog)...You are not only HOT, but you are about the sweetest man ever. I am a big believer that how a man treats his mom is a good indication of how a man will treat his wife. On that aspect alone I am sold on you. But if I were being honest with you I would have to say that the first time I fell in love with you was even before the season started. You see, I'm a stalker of sorts and I wanted to do my research on the Bachelors before the season even started. I was on the ABC site checking out all of the promo photos and was immediately drawn to yours. Seriously, anyone who could pull off looking good in an orange T-shirt with the periodic table on it is a winner in my book. It shows that you are not afraid to be a little geeky, and I like a little geeky.

So here is my plan Chris. You go out and date...because I think you are ready! Have fun, enjoy being single for a while. You deserve it! You have had a couple of stressful years personally and you need to enjoy yourself a little. Have your rebound dates, I beg you!

But...and this is a big but...On Saturday, March 12, 2011 you are invited to my 40th Birthday Party. It will be a Bachelorette Party of sorts. You see, I'm encouraging my girlfriends to throw me a party where the only gifts people bring are eligible Bachelors. There will be a rose ceremony at the end and I can promise you if you show up...you WILL be the last man standing...no questions asked! I will not break your heart, I will not take you for granted and we can remember our moms together every time a rainbow appears.

I know...Iknow...you're probably thinking I'm too good to be true and wondering how it is that I am still single. It's a question I get all of the time. I like to attribute it to the losers that tend to be attracted to me. But rest assured, I got my loser radar fixed and only allow upstanding, emotionally available men into my life now...and you fit the bill 100%.

No need to RSVP to the party...just show up in the periodic table T-shirt and I'm all yours...I'm just saying.