LIFE LESSONS: The one where I talk about the itsy bitsy teeny weeny bikini

Last week was Spring Break in the He Who Laughs Last household. Hamilton and Gibson spent the first part of the week with their dad, swimming and hiking in southern Indiana and the second part of their week with me.

Because I like to be considered the cooler parent, I try to come up with fun ideas that I know their dad won’t do with them. So I stepped up to the plate and took them to Great Wolf Lodge for a couple of days. The boys consider this place “heaven on earth” while I refer to it as “the money pit.” Don’t get me wrong, we had a blast but dollar for dollar this place is a rip off.

Don’t worry this post is not going to be a complaint session, well, ok, maybe a slight complaint session! I really only had two issues the entire time we were there and none of them have to do with the actual facility.

First, let me tell you how much fun this place is. (6) major water slides that are all a blast, a water coaster that we couldn’t get enough of and an awesome splash park. I would highly recommend this place to everyone for a couple of days of fun.

So you might be asking yourself, what is it about this place that you don’t like Julie?

Well…here goes…

It’s this…


And this...


And this...


Yep…you guessed it, it was the moms and their itsy bitsy teeny weeny bikinis. I have one word that describes wearing these kinds of bikini’s at a facility like this…

INAPPROPRIATE!

Don’t get me wrong, I have absolutely nothing wrong with an itsy bitsy bikini normally, but at a water park that is focused around those that are twelve and under it is not right. I’m not even saying that moms shouldn’t wear a bikini. Believe me, if I could, I would. But do you really have to wear your tiniest one? Don’t you have one with, let’s say, maybe 3 or 4 inches of material.

Something more than four triangles and couple of strings is all I ask.

And my second issue is this…this is what we spent a majority of our time doing...





Yep, we played water basketball…

Lessons learned:

1. The more material the better when it comes to the bikini at a water park

2. Supply your kids with a hoop, ball, and baby pool full of water and you spare yourself the $500 expense of a couple of days at a water park.