While I hate the actual exam part, I absolutely love my doctor. He has a dry witty sense of humor that I adore. His bedside manor is very comforting and most importantly he genuinely recognizes me and can carry on a conversation with me about my family without first referring to my chart. These are three things that are “deal breakers” in my so called doctor/patient “relationship.”
I never look forward to this annual exam of sorts, seriously, men..you will never understand it! You will never understand the annual poking, prodding and scraping that comes with this particular encounter. The contraptions, gels, and thing a ma jigs that are used can be a little, well, intimidating to say the least. But those things aside, the doctor/patient relationship is good and I usually leave this annual appointment with a smile on my face.
Well, except for yesterday!
Yesterday was not a good one to start off with. Work was hectic and I struggled to get out of the office to get to the appointment. It never fails, no matter how hard I try, I cannot leave during the day for an appointment without feeling the guilt from my coworker, whether she is in the office or not. So, for the first time ever, I turned my phone off the moment I pulled into the parking lot. Mental note: never do that again. By the time I got back in the car, I had two voice mails and a text from my boss and ten emails…I was out of the office for 30 minutes, people! But I digress…
Anywho…as most of you know the first thing they do when you go to the doctor is weigh you. I have to be honest, this part, never makes me happy. And this time, I was down right shocked at the number I saw on the scale. I knew I had put on a couple of pounds in the last 15 months…but never was I prepared for what I saw. That, my friends, was WAKE UP CALL #1
I was shuffled back into an examining room where I was asked to undress and put on the standard issued gown, opening in the front. The first thing that caught me off guard was the addition of mirrors all over the examining room. It didn’t matter which corner I was in I could see myself in a mirror. And the worst part…I felt like I was undressing in front of a circus mirror, because what I saw looking back at me is not how I picture myself looking to the outside world. I WAS HORRIFIED!
This my friends, was WAKE UP CALL #2
And then I walked over and put on the standard issued gown, or what I like to call “tissue paper overlay” and was horrified by how it fit. Suddenly I felt like this…
…you know the “Fat guy in a little coat” ala, Tommy Boy. (one of the funniest Chris Farley movies ever) But as funny as that may have seemed, no woman ever wants to feel like the fat girl! That my friends was WAKE UP CALL #3.
And if three wake up calls wasn’t enough, the fourth was the kicker.
It was when my doctor said (in a very loving tone) if you were only a ½ inch taller, you would be the perfect weight…
…wha…wha…wha!
Obviously, the diet started today!
Oh dear, I have to go to the doctor next week. Must lost 15 pounds, like today.
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