News Flash: The cougar is out and the puma is in! This, my friends, sucks for me because a puma is a woman in her late 20’s early 30’s who is looking for a younger guy. Apparently, the appeal is that she has the experience of a cougar, but is still within the age range of the men she is in to. Unfortunately for me
…and these lovely ladies from Saturday Night Live, we are washed up, old and have no business dating cougar cubs. Yep, this means pedi eggs, bump its, fake nails, and push up bras are no longer doing it for us. Hell, we may as well pack it up, put on our bath robes and hit the hay early on Saturday nights.
Now, you may be asking yourself, why is Julie bringing this subject up now? Well…I bring it up because I was reminded of my first cougar cub experience this weekend as I was cleaning out my car and came across a CD that said cougar cub had made for me.
My cougar cub, or Rock Star, as I’ll call him, is HOT! Tall and built with a rock hard body. He has hair to die for and his arms are FABULOUS! They were definitely the first thing I noticed about him when we reconnected. You see, I have known Rock Star for years…and for years I mean, since he was in junior high and I was about twenty. He is actually the son of a good friend of my ex-husbands. I hadn’t seen Rock Star since his High School graduation and never though about him again…until this time last year.
It was a rare girls night out with my married girlfriends. We were at a local bar listening to 80’s rock (my favorite genre, by the way) and hanging out with some cute guys when I felt a pair of eyes on me. When I turned around…there stood Rock Star staring at me. He quickly turned away when he saw that I was looking at him. He was standing there with a tall beautiful blonde girl who I was totally oblivious to all night. Rock Star and I kept playing the game of “look away” when any kind of eye contact was made between the two of us. Eventually I got up enough nerve, or liquid courage as I like to call it, to walk over and say Hi. Can I just say that I was totally taken aback by how much he had changed since his scrawny junior high days…He was all man! And his voice was so deep. We had a brief conversation, of which I remember nothing because I was so mesmerized by his hotness. When I returned to my group of friends I was suddenly wishing I was ten years younger. I sat down at the table, my girlfriends giggled like little school girls and before I knew it Rock Star was headed out the door and out of my life for another 20 years.
But low and behold, before I left the bar that night my blackberry beeped with a message from Rock Star from Facebook. He had been gone only about an hour and he was already stalking me on the internet…I was stoked! We exchanged emails for the next week or so. In one of the emails Rock Star admitted to me that he looked forward to my messages…I just have two words for you…EGO BOOST! During the course of our email exchanges Rock Star made the comment that he would be spending Thanksgiving by himself. And I hated that idea! So I did what any single, available cougar would do, I invited him over to spend Thanksgiving with my family fully expecting him to come up with a lame excuse as to why he wouldn’t be joining me. But much to my surprise, he accepted my offer immediately!
When he showed up at my Aunt’s house I was so excited…like a kid on Christmas morning. He was BEAUTIFUL! He loved my family and my family loved him. In fact, I think my 90 year old grandma called him a “nice boy”. I thought that was funny. After dinner he didn’t want the day to end so we decided to go someplace for a cocktail. I don’t know what we were thinking…it was Thanksgiving Day…nothing was open. We were desperate to find someplace to hang out. The problem: I knew if we had gone back to my place, I would have never been able to control myself. So we ended up sitting in my car in the parking lot of a restaurant for a couple more hours. We listened to a CD he had made for me and made out like high school kids on prom night. Ahhhhhh….the memories! When we finally pulled ourselves away from each other he kept telling me over and over again that this was the best Thanksgiving ever for him. I was loving it. Did I tell you that he was HOT?
Anyway, we ended up going out a few more times (I will not share any of those details…) until I found out, via Facebook, that he was engaged. I knew it was too good to be true! We tried to continue a “friendship” but it was always more like him sneaking around to hang out with me and I didn’t like that. So we eventually grew out of our friendship too.
We see each other every once in a while when we are out. In fact, I saw him a few weeks ago as I was leaving a club and hew was coming in. I knew that night, when he told me his fiancé wasn’t with him and asked me to stay, that he would never be the kind of person I could ever spend my life with.
I know this situation turned out for the best and it took me a little while to come to grips with the fact that I deserve better than him. And for what it is worth…I know my first cougar experience has made me a better person. It’s a reminder that I am a single mom…I don’t date…I’ve been to the circus…I’ve seen the show… I need more! I deserve more! But most importantly, it has taught me to stop dwelling on what I think I am missing out on and to start focusing on what I have that others are missing out on.