Monday, November 30, 2009

Hello lover

Men. You can’t live with them…you can’t live without them. That’s how the saying goes anyway! What is it about men that makes them so indecisive when it comes to the relationships in their lives? To me, it just seems like so many of them are afraid to settle down with someone that they love for fear that someone else better will come along, or for the fear of being with one fantastic woman for the rest of their lives. I mean, I know it seems scary, but after all, that is how God created us to live. I don’t understand why most men struggle with this.

Recently it seems like it has been the other way around in my life. And by the other way around, I mean, “Julie, you can’t live with her, you can’t live without her.” I have had two ex’s come back into my life over the past few months. One, “Joey bag of Donuts” as I like to call him, I will talk about here today. The other, I may never talk about…so don’t ask…I’m not gonna tell you…my lips are sealed!

Anyway, Joey bag of Donuts is a fantastic man! I dated him about 6 months after my divorce was final. I had no business dating him then because I was no where near emotionally ready to be in a relationship. Oh I thought I was…but looking back now…NO WAY! At that point in my life, I was still very hurt that my ex-husband had walked out on me and our family and that hurt led to a very lonely time for me. And the company of a very handsome man was sooooooo much better than being lonely!

Joey bag of Donuts lives in a different state than I do, so as a single mom it was difficult to carry on any kind of relationship. I can remember skipping out on work many times when my boss would leave early and he never knew. My boss at the time was a complete idiot that only cared about himself and his huge I got away with a lot of stuff at that job that I would never dream of doing at my current job. But I digress. Joey bag of Donuts was very distinguished looking, very attractive and had an awesome smile. He was the total opposite of my ex-husband in the looks department and from as young as I can remember, my "type" of guy. Joey Bag of Donuts and I always seemed to have fun when we were together. He always put a huge smile on my face and I enjoyed his company. Until one day out of the blue...Joey bag of Donuts stopped calling. I was sad and hurt because I thought we were good for each other. But what I found out months later, after we slipped into the "friend zone," was that he was no where ready for a relationship either. So for the next couple of years Joey Bag of Donuts and I would become pen pals...text buddies and have the occasional phone conversation. He would run potential date material by me, we would talk about our relationships as they were happening and eventually became really good friends. To this day I consider Joey bag of Donuts one of my closest male friends.

Why do I bring up Joey Bag of Donuts now, you might ask? Well...he was in town this weekend for a hockey tournament and we had made plans to get together. I watched the hockey game and then afterward we met up for dinner and drinks. I hadn't seen Joey Bag of Donuts or been in his company in almost 2 years. And what really excited me was that he was even better looking than I had remembered. He had more salt and pepper in his hair and for those of you that know me well, you know that I am a complete sucker for salt and pepper hair on men. Anyway our dinner was's like we picked up where we had last left we were good buddies catching up. He made me smile, I made him laugh and I will be honest with you there was some physical attraction on both our parts. I hated to leave Joey Bag of Donuts at his car at the end of the evening, but that is what friends do.

The hardest part of the entire evening with Joey Bag of Donuts was when he admitted to me that he never should have let me go. Part of me enjoyed hearing that but the other part of me was hurt. Why wasn't I good enough 2 years ago for him? What about me had changed so much so that he wanted to be with me now and not then? It is so frustrating! Unfortunately, in my mind, I have already placed Joey Bag of Donuts in the friends zone and no one has ever made it from the friend zone to the relationship zone in my book...this is just a transition in life that I have never been comfortable with.

In the end, I just hope that one day I meet a man that is at the same place in his life as I am and one that will see me for the great woman that I am at that moment and not 2, 3, 4 or 5 years down the road. He will see that I am a woman with a good head on her shoulders, who can financially and emotionally support herself and her two children, who has a great job, an awesome house and car, who has very little baggage, no credit card debt and is looking for someone to share her life with. That's it...that's all I ask for! I don't think it's much. Any takers?

No comments:

Post a Comment


Blog Design by Blogs by Mandy