Tuesday, September 15, 2009

The single signal

How many times have you gone on a first date that you thought went well only to talk yourself out of how well it went even before you left the parking lot? This, my friends, happens to me all of the time. In fact, it happened to me just this morning.

My friend from high school fixed me up on another date with a friend of hers. I swore after the last date she fixed me up on, that I would never let friends fix me up again, but she seemed to think that this new guy would be a really good fit for me. So I thought about it for a few days and finally agreed to let her fix me up with, oh...let's call him, "Mr. Personality."

I met Mr. Personality for coffee today before work. He was such a nice guy...and cute too...BONUS! He is the kind of guy that can talk about anything. I like this in a guy, especially on a "get to know you coffee date" where conversation can sometimes be tough and awkward.

Mr. Personality is definitely my type of guy. Our conversations seemed to be good and flowed well...at least I enjoyed them! What was supposed to be a quick cup of coffee before work ended up being almost two hours. I just really enjoyed hearing about him, his life, and the future he is fighting for. I like a man with a good head on his shoulders, that knows what he wants and totally knows how to enjoy life! And Mr. Personality fit this description to a tee!

The problem with Mr. Personality...NOTHING! The problem with me...Well, I managed to convince myself that I probably wasn't Mr. Personalities type even before I pulled my car out of the parking lot. If you were to ask me why I didn't think I was Mr. Personalities type, I would not be able to give you a concrete answer. I would probably hem haw around with a lot of ummmm's and uhhh's and I don't really knows, but never be able to come up with something of substance. After thinking about this all day, I realized that I do this alot. I put up this wall, after most of my dates. And I think I do it because I fear being rejected. And rejection is easier to handle if I have already convinced myself that it wouldn't work. It's like I'm sabotaging things before they even start...and that's not fair to anyone.

So here is what I think...Because it is so hard to find someone, not only, that I am attracted to but someone that is equally attracted to me, I think there should be some kind of signal given to help me single out those that might have an interest in me. In fact, I think we all should be equipped with some kind of "single signal" that only single people have and that magically disappears once we get married. I mean, think about it...it would not only help us single people with those that we have an interest in but it would also help us weed out all of those losers that are married but portray that they are available.

Maybe it would be like an earring that we get the day we are born that gradually wears off...you know, kind of like that silly red Kabalah bracelet that people like Madonna and Lindsey wear. Or maybe it would be like a "mood earring". Something that would magically turn green if there was an interest in someone of the opposite sex, or it would be yellow if there were some uncertainties, but it would clearly be red if there was no interest from one or both parties involved. This way there would never be any guessing...we would always be able to "go with the glow"...get it? Kind of like "go with the flow"!! Man...I crack myself up sometimes!

Anyway, think of the time it would save! Not only time, but the heartache as well. There would be no waiting around wondering if he liked me because I would know even before stepping into my car how he felt.

Let's just say that Mr. Personalities earring was green...this would give me the confidence to know that there was some attraction there and that I should just be patient and wait for him to call me. It would give me some peace of mind and possibly even help me from concocting all these stories in my head as to why he probably doesn't like me or why I am not good enough for him. However, on the other hand if it were red, I would know immediately that he didn't have an interest in me and I would move on without wasting days wondering if he liked me or not.

I know this is a crazy idea, I know it is a little far fetched, but there needs to be something to make dating easier! I know that sometimes attraction grows and changes and may even disappear over time, but the single signal doesn't work in those situations. It would only be for those times that I am happily flirting away with the cute guy at the party, or having a good conversation with the nice looking boy sitting across from me at the coffee shop. It would only be used in those new times to help prevent wasteful flirting...God knows, flirting is good...wasteful flirting SUCKS!

So that's it...there you have it...my contribution to society. Science...take it away and make me proud! Give me something to make dating easier before it kills me!

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