Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Celebrating my 4 year Singleversary

September 13, 2009 marked my four year anniversary of being single. Four years ago, I thought my world was ending. I tried to be strong and remind myself daily that things would get better. But sometimes I spent more time trying to convince myself that this was true than actually believing it.

But what I have learned is that while a great marriage may be the best situation of all for me, the reality is that most marriages are not great! And being in a so-so marriage as compared to being happily single is a no-brainer for me. Married couples who feel sorry for single people, whom they think are lonely, should realize that we single people often feel sorry for married couples who seem lonely in their relationships.

The unfortunate part is that we live in a society that focuses on couples and this is why it is sometimes hard for single people to enjoy being single. I will admit that I was dropped from the social circle of many of our couple friends, but this just forced me to go out and make some amazing single friends whose friendships mean more to me now than any of those superficial couple friendships that my ex and I shared.

Sure there are moments…often related to the DVR or Tivo, or putting braclets on by myself, or having to make every single decision by myself, and the hardest, not having someone care about or concerned about me. But I think I do a pretty good job of making up for these things with my family and friends. Heck, I even survived my first dreaded “sick as a dog” scenario alone, and managed to come through it just fine with tons of support.

In fact, I have come to really enjoy the solitude in my life. I enjoy the peacefulness, insight, and meditation. It gives me the opportunity to really focus and learn things about myself that I would not otherwise do. I can do what I want when I want and most importantly, I rarely argue with myself!

So in true celebratory fashion, I have come up with a list of the top 25 reasons why I really enjoy being single…

My bed is MINE! I can sleep on any side at any time.

I have the freedom to persue my passions without the fear of being judged.

I can drink straight out of the Orange Juice carton if I want to.

My grocery bill has been cut in half.

I don’t have to share my New Yorker magazine with anyone.

I have many more opportunities to be social and meet more people.

I am focused on being happy with who I am instead of focusing on who and what my ex wants me to be.

I have the closet all to myself.

I can do what I want with my money.

I have more time to myself.

Free drinks at pubs and bars…BONUS!

I can have male friends without having to defend myself.

I can flirt whenever and wherever.

I am not accountable to anyone. If I want to do something, I just do it.

I don’t have to write Birthday, Mother’s Day, and/or Valentines cards on behalf of my ex anymore.

I can eat cereal for dinner and not feel guilty that I didn’t make a meal.

I don’t have to shave my legs everyday.

I can treat myself to a new pair of MEK’s and not have to pretend like I have had them forever.

I can have my own social identity.

There is no one to criticize my car, the state it is in, or how I choose to drive it.

I can get out all of my photos and love notes from ex-boyfriends to remind me how desirable I am.

I can discuss my problems with my friends without being told I am being disloyal.

I am able to be a “YES” to life!

I can make my own decisions without the weight of a second opinion weighing me down.

And last but certainly not least, I can be ME without being judged!

WOOT! WOOT! All reasons to celebrate! Happy Singleversary to me!


  1. Happy Singleversary!!! I hope one day I can find as much enjoyment as you have!!

  2. Wow! You have come a long way in your writing from the days of hating being single. I think it's great! I think we could all do well by being happy where we are instead of wanting to be somewhere else. : )




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