I’m scared of stupid things.
Things like snakes, spiders and men who post shirtless pictures of themselves online. Snakes and spiders I can deal with now, although I wouldn’t want to find them sharing a bed with me or anything drastic like that, but I know they are God’s creatures and I should love them. At least that’s what I tell myself when I see them in places I know they shouldn’t be.
On the other hand, men who post shirtless pictures of themselves online, they have always scared me and to this day still scare the crap out of me. It’s a fear I will never grow out of. And I hope to God I don’t find them sharing a bed with me either.
Now, over the years, as I have become more independent I have realized that there are things in my life that used to scare me but don’t anymore.
Dying. I know who I am, I know what I believe and I know where I’m going…enough said!
What people think of me. I don’t care anymore. I am who I am. I know what I want. I know what I deserve.
Being alone. It is so much better being alone than it is to be alone in a relationship.
My future. For the first time in a long time, I’m excited to see how the next 40 years of my life play out.
Getting old. As long as I do it gracefully, it doesn’t matter to me anymore. It is what it is. I can’t control it. And I refuse to take any drastic measures that could have me looking like either of these women from the Real Housewives of Miami.
Being a strong independent woman. I have been told by men in my recent past that me being a strong independent woman is sometimes intimidating. But I don’t care anymore, I’m not going to conform. I like who I am. I’m not a wet noodle and I’m not looking for a wet noodle.
Being single. It’s ok. I don’t have to answer to anyone, well except my kids, but those are usually answers that I can handle.
Shopping for a bathing suit. Again, I don’t care anymore what people think of me anymore or how I look. No BODY is perfect and I am learning to love me and mine.
4th grade advanced math homework. It doesn’t scare me now that I have come to terms with the fact that I don’t have all of the answers and it is ok to look for instructions on the world wide web.
A 7 year old with a shitload of confidence. Confidence is good…no matter what age, right?
Now that I have listed the things that I am no longer afraid of, let me reassure you that I will forever have a fear of public speaking, clowns, and public restrooms.
There is no amount of therapy that will ever suck any of those fears out of me.