Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Technology, a blessing and a curse

Back in the day before I married the Ex dating was so much easier. We pretty much relied on our friends and co-workers to set us up on dates. Now, however, with cell phones and the Internet we never ever have to worry about our friends setting us up on dates again. We now have the ability to take control of our own dating lives.

But that too can be a curse.

Let me explain…

Take cell phones for example. I often wonder what we ever did without them. How did I ever occupy my time while sitting at a stop light before I had a cell phone? With the cell phone, I never have to worry about being out of touch with anyone. But, on the other hand, I can never really just disconnect from the world either. I tried deactivating my FaceBook account recently for a week and felt like I was missing out on something special, so I reactivated it, only to realize I wasn’t missing out on anything.

The one thing I hate about technology is that it gives us the ability to know way too much about each other, and this can be detrimental early on when you are just starting to date someone.

Back in the day, before the Internet and online dating profiles, dating was easy. Here is how the beginning of a relationship might look…

1. You would meet a cute guy at work, or the gym, or the bar. He would ask for your number.

2. He would call you and ask you out on a date.

3. You would go on said date and have a fabulous time.

4. He would call you a day or two later to tell you that he had a wonderful time and ask you out again.

5. You would think, “Wow this guy really likes me,” and be excited at the prospect that he might be boyfriend material.

But NOW, because of technology, things are a little different. Here is how an almost identical scenario could play out thanks to all of the technology we now have at our fingertips.

1. You meet a cute guy at work, or the gym, or the bar. He asks for your number.

2. You immediately Google him, check his Facebook account, and see if he is a Twitterer. If his pictures are good and the stuff he posts is smart and funny, you anxiously await his call.

3. He calls you or texts you and asks you out on a date.

4. You go on the date and have a fabulous evening.

5. He calls you a day or two later, you of course let it go to voice mail. His message says he had a wonderful time and would like to take you out the next Friday. You text him back, “wld luv 2 c u fri.”

6. You find yourself falling for him and hoping that he is not seeing other women. To ensure that he is not, you then begin the process of stalking him online to see what his profile status is and what the girls look like who are posting comments on his profile.

7. If you don’t like the looks of his online behavior, you get threatened, frustrated and/or angry and write him off before he has a chance to hurt you.

And it ends as quickly as it begins.

I have two dates in the next two weeks, one with a new guy that I am not that excited about and one with someone I have dated in the past which I am really excited about. I pledge to not google either, and see what happens. You know, pretend it’s twenty years ago when the Internet didn’t exist. I guess that means that I need to also break out my swatch watches and K-Swiss tennis shoes for my dates.


  1. Don't forget the bright blue eye shadow and neon polo shirts too..

  2. Technology has changed everything. I have a friend who has a firm rule not to Facebook or Google a guy when she meets him. She doesn't want to get to know someone (and judge them, really) through the Internet. She wants to give them an actual chance in person. If a guy friends her, she just explains she doesn't really do that. I think it's a good strategy - hard to keep though. It's sooo tempting to want to find out everything about someone and dissect them from the word go!



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