Guard and protect her heart

Ok...I have to admit, the Bachelorette is like a train wreck. I can't NOT watch it when flipping through the channels trying to figure out a way to waste my evening. Honestly, I struggled between watching Jerseyliscious and the Bachelorette. Thank God Jerseyliscious was a repeat! I know I said I couldn't do the recaps anymore, but I just couldn't stay away. I didn't watch last evenings show with my full on attention, but here are just a few tidbits I pulled that I thought you might enjoy...

1. Did anyone else think that Chris L's (aka:Cape Cod Chris) description of what he thought Kasey's (aka: nose talker) image of Ali was when he talked and dreamt about her was so spot on? Here is what I envisioned Cape Cod Chris was describing...

HILARIOUS, right?

2. I have come to realize that Ali only has a fear of flying when she is flying with someone that she really likes and wants to cuddle with. Did you notice her fear of flying didn't come out at any one point on the helicopter ride with Nose Talker?

3. Oh no he didn't!!!! Did Nose Talker just break out into song? (chirp...chirp) oh sorry, Nose Talker, you weren't done yet! He thought it was pretty intense stuff. I think Ali thought it was more along the lines of awkward, weird, or completely uncomfortable. Please don't do it again Nose Talker!

4. Did Ali really ask Nose Talker how their relationship was different than other relationships he has had in the past? Uh...maybe the fact that you are dating 10 other guys at this point is a difference...need I say anything else?

5. I am of the opinion that the ABC intern needs to be F-I-R-E-D fired! Why would he/she think that it was appropriate to put seven guys in spandex shorts?

6. Jonathan, (aka: Weatherman, aka: Ron Burgundy)I'm surprised you have never sung on Broadway before...really? You have such a fabulous voice! (read with sarcasm) On a side note: I am usually uncomfortable when men serenade me, but Jesse, you can serenade me anytime you want, in spandex too!

7. Is it just me or was anyone else completely uncomfortable watching Ali and Roberto (aka: Rico Suave) rehearse for their Lion King performance?

8. Frank (aka: Frankie Boy) and I have so much in common. All we need is that little look or sweet smile from someone special to be sure about where we stand in their heart.

9. Weatherman (aka: Ron Burgundy), let me give you a little advice. Stop talking about getting one on one time with Ali. Step up to the plate, strap on some balls, take the girl by the hand and tell her exactly how you feel! You know, just like Frankie Boy did right after Ali shot you down...Doh!

10. Chris L (aka: Cape Cod Chris) is a total winner in my book! Any guy who brings me flowers and chicken noodle soup when I am under the weather can just consider himself my favorite man in the whole world!

11. Shame on ABC for making everyone think, for the past three weeks, that Kasey tried to slit his wrists. That is a new publicity low!

12. Am I the only one that loved the rainbow analogy that Cape Cod Chris' mom left him with before she died? I have to admit, it made me a little teary eyed because that is one of the things that my mom said to me before she died too..."look for me in the rainbows."

13. Weatherman, weatherman, weatherman. There was not a spark when you sang to Ali, just some uncomfortable cricket chirping.

14. Nose Talker, Nose Talker, Nose Talker. Permanent ink is not the way to a girls heart. Might I suggest chicken noodle soup and flowers next time?

15. I cannot believe Ali let Jesse (aka: Mr. Peculiar) go! I would definitely pick the country boy over the city boy if Jesse were the country boy. And did you see those jeans on him? Holy Cow!

I only have one last thing to say...Mr. Peculiar, you are definitely so much better off without Ali. You deserve someone with more depth who can appreciate you for you. Someone like, oh I don't know...maybe moi!

I'm just saying!