Project Love: Day #2

The Game of Love

If dating is not a competition then why does it always feel as if I have missed the kickoff? I mean, it feels like I’m never in the right place at the right time. In fact, I can’t tell you how many times I have been told, by my family and friends, that maybe I just don’t have my eyes open to the possibility of love or maybe even my standards are too high.

I have no choice but to take those statements to heart, especially when the closest I have gotten to meeting a good guy in a normal place is in the pharmacy section at Super Target. I think I noticed a sixty year old guy checking me out there once in between his search for condoms and depends. I’m a lucky lucky girl!

I know at some point we all have played this so called “game of love”. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. But what I have found, more often than not, is that my dates usually end up in a tie, meaning “the friend zone”, and quite frankly, I don’t need any more pen pals or phone buddies.

I think my problem is the advice I am getting from my friends and family. I was looking back over some of my journals the other day and decided to write down every time someone I loved had given me some kind of dating advice. Some of it was given to me seriously and some of it is just plain silly, but at least I think if you see the advice I am getting you might just have a better understanding of my frustration in the end.

Advice: Make men think you are interested, but don’t let them know for sure. Men like the chase.
Problem: What about me? I don’t necessarily like to be chased. I want to be caught!

Advice: Find out if he has any platonic female friends. Men should be able to relate to women as friends and not just sex objects.
Problem: My only experience with this is one guy I dated said he had a platonic female friend that he talked about constantly. Want to know how I first met her, when I walked into the bathroom at a friends wedding only to find the two of them making out.

Advice: Don’t drink too much on a date
Problem: Lesson learned as noted in this text message I sent to my friend after a date gone horribly wrong. Text Message: You should have told me I was still wearing my 3D glasses before you told me it was ok to go home with him.

Advice: If at any point he reminds you of your father, run away.
Problem: No problem here…very solid advice!

Advice: (what she said) Find a guy who wants to take care of you.
Problem: (what I concoct in my mind) I will just end up taking care of him.


Advice: Don’t play games.
Problem: Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t the first piece of advice to make the man think you are interested in him? Isn’t that a game? Make up your mind people, games or no games?

Advice: Keep your first date brief, you want to have something to talk about on the second date.
Problem: If you are already worried about the lack of conversation after the first date…move on.

Advice: Stay away from guys who think cartoon women are sexy.
Problem: Cartoon characters like this
or this
…cause there’s a big difference.

Advice: Never date more than one guy at a time, even if they know about each other.
Problem: My question, how do I get a date with one guy let alone two guys at a time?

Advice: You have to date a few frogs before you find your prince.
Problem: How do I get out of the frog zone?

Advice: My friends think I should date someone who is tall, handsome and successful.
Problem: Usually the tall, handsome and successful guys are looking for petite, large chested, sex maniacs.

Advice: Flirt
Problem: Finally something on this list that I can do and do well.

Advice: It’s best not to date at all than to date losers!
Problem: AMEN! Hence the reason I have stopped pursuing the date!

Love is a Battlefield.