Project Love: Day #16

Love is in the air

First comes love, second comes marriage, then comes the baby carriage…isn’t that how we have been programmed from childhood? Well, somewhere along the way, that soundtrack for my life changed. Actually it has changed several times over the years. Most of the time, it is playing something like John Mayer’s Perfectly Lonely, about someone who is perfectly happy being alone, enjoying the simple freedom of having nothing to do and no one to answer to.

Normally there is something to be said about this song as it relates to my life…

…but not today.

Looking back at my post from yesterday, I think to myself, “BRAVO girl! You have come so far!” But you would probably never know it after reading this post today.

I have had some good romances. I have had some bad romances. And I have probably had a few too many one night stands. Not something I am proud of, but it is what it is and I can’t change the past.

So what if my life didn’t turn out like I had planned. I lost the love of my life, move on, right? I’m trying…but it’s tough. You know what makes it so tough? My friends! Remember the ones I told you about in the past that I wouldn’t have survived these last five years without. You know the ones who picked me up when I was down. The ones who hold my hair when I’m sick or check up on me when they haven’t heard from me in a couple of days…yep, those are the peeps I’m referring to. It’s the girls that I can’t live without that make it hard for me, the single girl, to move on with my life.

There I said it…now that it’s out there, let me give you an example of what I mean by this profound statement.

It’s complicated.

I have this “friend” who I will call “Mrs. Stresses me out on a day to day basis”. She is married to a WONDERFUL man. She has been married to Mr. Wonderful for many many years. Don’t get me wrong, they had their struggles early on in life, but for some reason their relationship works for them now. It would never work for me…but hey, I don’t have to live with them each and every day so who am I to judge, right?

Anyway, “Mrs. Stresses me out on a day to day basis” has become a good friend over the past few years. She is a true “Julie Supporter”. She is there for me when I need her and always has an ear to listen and advice to be given. She has her flaws, but don’t we all?

So what is it about “Mrs. Stress me out on a day to day basis” that makes me struggle with relationships in my life? Well, she constantly complains about her husband, who just wants to help. He can’t ever seem to do anything right. Maybe it’s the fact that she is a control freak, I don’t know. Whatever the issue, she doesn’t treat him very well. She constantly puts him down and demeans him. And the tone with which she speaks to him would be a definite no no in my book. It’s like she takes him for granted each and every day. She doesn’t appreciate what he does for her and her business., at least not on the outside. She may in fact appreciate him and all that he does, but has not ever shown him or told him how much she appreciates what he does.

And this kind of behavior, my friends, really irks me. Some days I just want to take her by the shoulders and shake the shit out of her. I want her to wake up and smell the coffee and realize what a good thing she has in her Mr. Wonderful. Because there are women out there, like me, that would definitely appreciate someone like him.

All I’m saying ladies, and gentlemen, is that if you are in a relationship or marriage, appreciate what you have. Even if there are things about your partner that irritate the crap out of you, appreciate them for who they are and what they do.

Because if you don’t, someone else will.

Love is a Battlefield.