Monday, July 26, 2010

Accept bullshit...receive bullshit

It’s me…I’m back!

I’m still swamped at work.

I’m still frustrated with my personal life.

It’s still hot here in the Midwest.

But, I’m back…and I have a lot to say!

The past month has just been crazy busy for me as I’m sure it has for many of you. My problem is that I have never had a whole month like this, especially in the summer when things are supposed to be a little more laid back and relaxed. Thankfully, my kids were on vacation with their dad last week and it allowed me some time to catch a breath and focus on the important things in my life…my friends!

Yeah for true friends!

Even though I have been super swamped the lessons I have learned, in the hecticness that has become my life, did not go unnoticed.

Lessons like:

• When you are in need of friends, your true friends step up to the plate no matter how busy their lives are.

• If you think you are busy, nine times out of ten your friends are busier.

• I DO NOT, let me repeat, DO NOT have a lot of patience for chaos

But, by far, the most important lesson I learned during this stressful season in my life is this…

• It is me that teaches people how to treat me. If I accept bull shit, I will only receive bull shit.

I know, I know…it’s a simple thought, but one I often forget.

You see, my problem is that I am stuck in my life long pattern of taking way too much from others. So much so that I take it until I can’t take it anymore and then just end up getting so frustrated and walk away completely. I know it’s not healthy, but it’s the only way that I seem to be able to function in these dysfunctional relationships that I get myself into.

As you have read in my past posts, I consider myself to be a caregiver of sorts. I tend to latch onto those that may not have the perfect lives. I tend to want to jump in and be the rescurer, the nurturer, the shoulder to cry on, the one that helps them get through the tough times. Yet I am always shocked when they hang me out on my own once they have gotten back on the straight and narrow.

It’s like clockwork. It happens EVERY. SINGLE. TIME!

And it happened again this weekend. I got hung out to dry by someone whom I thought was becoming a great friend. But what I realized is that our friendship was very one sided. He used me to get through the last few months of his very rough divorce and then threw me out when he was done with me. And quite frankly, that pisses me off. In fact, I can remember the exact moment at dinner on Saturday night that I knew I was done and had completely checked out. It was when he actually called me “coach” when discussing the finality of his divorce. I realized at that moment that I would probably never ever hear from him again.

And here it is Monday…and not a peep! And I’m ok with that. Because I am done accepting bull shit as a standard in my life!


  1. I can sooo relate to this. I have found myself in this position MANY times. It is funny that (after kissing a lot of frogs) I married a man with the same tenderness, and we manage to treat each other like gold. Still, I have much to work on.

  2. Gal - you and I are so much alike! I found a keeper of a man recently - and I'm not letting him go - but I certainly get used with my female friends....they come to me when they have stuff going on...and then when I need a listening's like everything happens and they aren't going to hear one word I say.

    (((HUGS))) You deserve the best! Don't settle for less!

  3. Good for you. I have a very low threshold for bullshit and that causes me to (maybe) cut people off too quickly. I prefer it that way.



Blog Design by Blogs by Mandy