Most of you that read my blog, know that I’m a processor of sorts. It takes me a while to sort through situations in my life. I need time to think about things before I can move on. So here we are almost 4 months out of my relationship with Mr. Jackhole and I have a few things to say to him. I love it when I get to this point, because it means that I am officially 100% over it all, over the hurt, over the pain and over the memories. And of course I’m going to handle it in a mature way, and by mature, I mean I’m going to blog about it and hope he reads it.
Dear Jackhole (formerly known as Mr. Perfect for Me),
You know what…you are right, it took some time, but I’m officially to the point where I can say WTF about the relationship we had.
Early on, you spoke my language, you complimented me. You said everything I wanted to hear. You made me feel special. You changed my idea about love. I started to believe in it again. I started to believe in fate too.
And then you did what you promised you wouldn’t do. You proved that it was all a lie. You proved that love didn’t exist. It wasn’t fate. You weren’t in love and what I was feeling was for nothing. It was like watching something that I believed in die a quick death.
You said one day we would laugh about this. Well, I don’t think I will ever laugh about it. It wasn’t funny to me. It was my FUTURE and the future of my kids and you were a part of it right before you toyed with me. You hurt me and I believed in you.
Now all I can say is this, thanks for effing things up. You promised you wouldn’t but you did and I have nothing but gratitude for it. Because what I eventually realized is what you were saying all along was true. We are two different people. We live completely different lives. I live one of love, truth and integrity. You live one of selfishness, selfishness and more selfishness and I want no part of that.
Fortunately for me you hurt me like you did or I may have never seen it.
Cheers to the future!