20 Things

A couple of years ago the “25 things you don’t know about me” phenomenon took over Facebook. I loved reading my friends lists. Reading them made me feel like sort of a vouyer into their lives. I can honestly say that I learned new things about each and every one of my friends while reading their lists. But what I didn’t realize is that I also learned many things about my friends that I didn’t want to know. Things that either made me want to laugh hysterically or say things like “really?” or “oh no he didn’t” or even “WTF?”

Between you and me, to this day, I still look at some of my friends in a different light after reading their lists.

So for my own pleasure…ok, and maybe yours too, I decided to stalk my Facebook friends again and re-read all of the “25 things you didn’t know about me” posts and came up with my own list of:

“20 things I wish I didn’t know about my friends”: (sorry, I could only find 20 that were worth sharing).

1. I was fat in middle school. The wake of that horror has yet to go away.

2. The most famous person I have ever run into while living in LA is Bruce Willis. He was with his daughters Rumor, Secret, Honor and Tango…or whatever the hell their names are.

3. My grandma once told me I was her favorite. I also heard her telling my other siblings the same thing. I cried when I realized she lied to me.

4. When I was little I pretended my bike was a horse named “Giddy Up”. My nickname as an adult is still Giddy Up.

5. I can’t take guys who wear turtle necks seriously.

6. I cried when Spock died in Star Trek II.

7. I’m secretly addicted to the “ass slap” dance move. Sometimes I don’t even know I’m doing it.

8. I love gummy bears only when I rip the heads off first.

9. Two of my best friends are under five feet tall and I have an intense fear of midgets.

10. I sometimes like to tape my thumbs to my hands and pretend to be a dinosaur.

11. I’m writing this list for sympathy and attention.

12. When I was a kid I stole one of my moms bra’s, adopted it as my own and gave it the name “Skimpy”. I was devastated when she threw it away when I was twelve.

13. I listen to the soundtrack of Annie in the mornings when I’m getting ready for work. I turned 40 last week.

14. A horse fell over once while I was riding it.

15. I used to be so arrogant and in order to feel far more superior than everyone else, I bought Donald Trump toilet paper.

16. I once ran over my friends cat for a pan of brownies.

17. I eat hamburgers with a fork. I swear this is the reason my fiancé left me.

18. I cry during Will Ferrell movies.

19. I’ve always wondered if I could sell one of my kidney on ebay.

20. I peed the bed until I was 13.