Monday, December 13, 2010

A funny thing happened on the way to independence

So you all know that this weekend I was determined to prove to myself yet again that I don’t necessarily need a man in my life.

Well guess what happened?

It was an epic FAIL!

I made the mistake of taking on the heavy task of flipping my mattress first thing Sunday morning. Big mistake! HUGE! Yep, I managed to do some damage to my back. It makes me feel very old and humiliated in a way. Kind of like how my mom must have felt when I was young and she threw her back out while taping a garage sale sign to a box in the driveway.

Yeah…that kind of humiliation!

Thank God when my kids got home from their dads they were able to drag the mattress back to its original spot.

My back and my brain are pissed at me for not accepting the offer of help with stuff around the house. I have been living on double doses of Advil, and maybe even a little prescribed pain medicine left over from a trip to the ER a couple of years ago, since Sunday morning. And to top it off, I’m walking around like a cowboy who just got off a 24 hour road trip on the back of a horse.

It’s not pretty!

I’m kicking myself right now for being so stubborn and trying to prove that I can be independent and do the chores on my own that were definitely intended for a man.

But it gets even better…I was a mess this morning while shoveling snow from my driveway.

Why did I do it if my back hurt, you might ask?

Because I had no other choice!

I tried to get out of my garage without shoveling, but the snow had drifted and I couldn’t. I laid in bed listening to my neighbor plow his driveway while sending desperate pleas his way, through mental telepathy, hoping that he would plow my drive way too.

It didn’t work.

I’m sure if I would have asked he would have helped me out, but I couldn’t do it…because I don’t know how to ask for or accept help when it is offered to me!

You see, ever since my divorce, independence is one thing that I swore I would never let go of. From day one, I was determined to not be one of those women that couldn’t survive unless I had a man in my life. I taught myself how to start a lawn mower, change a tire, and even chop down a tree (with a chainsaw of course). I was determined to never ever be put in a situation that I couldn’t handle. And here it is almost five and a half years of independence later and I finally found the one thing that I cannot accomplish on my own…flipping a freaking mattress!

I HATE asking for help!

I guess my brothers now have something to look forward to when they come for Christmas this year. I’m still a strong independent woman if my brothers help me flip my mattress, right?

Oh yeah…Mark & Alec, I will also need you to help me fix my computer, change the showerhead on my shower, and show me how to put air in the tires of my car while you are here…

This is just me being independent!


  1. Oh, my sista, I SO feel ya! Been there, done that, 100 times over! I've been on my own for over 16 years now. Thankfully, I'm a little addicted to shows like This Old House, so I've picked up lots of tips and tricks over the years.

    Don't get me wrong, I DO get help with some things, but it's mostly because people insist on doing things for me. My brother has spent more than one night here painting walls, stripping, then repainting doors and woodwork, etc. My daddy, of course, does LOTS of things for me, despite my insisting I can do it myself. He just won't take no for an answer. And, actually, it's thanks to him that I KNOW how to do so much for myself. I always watched very carefully when he did things around the house. It was a great excuse to hang out with him! :)

    Now, all that being said, now that I'm old, and my body is slowing (ok, quickly!) falling apart, I find myself asking for help more often. Although, I hate to ask my dad or my brother, so I've been hiring handymen. It's money well spent, as far as I'm concerned. Plus, my son is older now, and he's been very helpful. As a matter of fact we flipped my mattress about a month ago. Thank God he was there, though, cuz my back was still a little pissy with me when we were finished. :(

  2. What were you thinking? I told you you should have accepted the offer you got for help! When are you gonna learn?

    Oh my gosh, I'm sorry, have I become that friend that says "I told you so"?

  3. Girlfriend, you need to find yourself a poolboy (you know, one like the Desperate Housewives lawn guy) :) Feel better!!!

  4. Your "Perfect Man for Me"January 20, 2011 at 4:52 PM

    Glad I came along to take care of that shower head and to fix ur tires.



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