Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Divorce is never good...

…unless it’s your future second husband that is getting divorced!

Hello…am I the only one celebrating the break up of Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansen? I never thought they were that cute together, but I never fought Scarlett for him either, because, let’s be honest here…she could probably kick my ass in less than 10 seconds.

I actually do hate the fact that they are separating…it saddens me when people get divorced, no matter what the situation…it’s never easy! But it's like I always say, "one person's trash is another person's treasure."

I do want to thank all of my fans and blog followers who kept me apprised of the situation last night. So far, I have received fifty plus emails, text messages and phone calls from you all wishing me luck with my future, 2nd husband. Ok…he may not be attainable, but he will always remain #1 on my list of three famous people that I am allowed to sleep with…no matter what my relationship status.

I originally had an article ready to post today on the most important lesson I have learned as a single parent, but I thought it might be more important to list the Top Ten Reasons Why I Think I Am the Perfect Partner for Ryan Reynolds., you know, in case he reads my blog.

Enjoy! I know I did…

10. Like me, he is afraid to fly! Nothing like supporting each other on our many trips back and forth to Canada to visit his family!

9. As I wrote in one of my posts last week, I have become a major magnet for emotionally unavailable men, and newly separated is basically the same as emotionally unavailable.

8. We would make ADORABLE babies. Apparently, this is what our child will look like…you decide! (don't judge me because I figured out how to morph our pictures together, you wish you would have thought of it first )

7. The letter “A” happens to be my absolute favorite letter in the alphabet…and my future husband looks fabulous dressed as my favorite letter on Sesame Street…come on, doesn’t everyone have a favorite letter?

6. I will be his shoulder to cry on, no matter what the situation…by the way, did I mention that that particular shoulder will be bare Ryan? And it’s big…not in a manly kind of way, but big in a supportive kind of way.

5. I am all about being a team. You see when Scarlett said “It was my mission to have a moment of privacy, to do something for myself,” when talking about your wedding, I knew you two were doomed. Do you hear the “me” and the “myself” in that statement? I'm just saying...

4. I hear that one of their issues was that Ryan was ready to have a baby and Scarlet wanted to focus on her career…there is that selfishness again…anyway, back to my point, I may almost be 40, but for Ryan, I would postpone my tummy tuck and have a child with him. You saw up above how adorable our kids would be.

3. Ryan has already been named the “Most Eligible Bachelor” of 2010…I know, Hollywood doesn’t waste any time. Well, lucky for Ryan, I am the Most Eligible Bachelorette in Fishers, IN…it’s his lucky day!

2. My friends already adore you and are very supportive of a future together. Trust me Ryan, this doesn’t come easy…my girlfriends don’t like everyone I date.

And the number one reason why I think I am the perfect rebound for Ryan Reynolds...

1. He was just nominated Sexiest Man Alive by People magazine, and I have recently been told (my source will remain nameless, but let’s just say, he was a very reliable source at the time) that I have "gotten sexier with age". I was never good at math, correct me if I am wrong, but I do believe:

Sexiest Man Alive + Has Gotten Sexier With Age = True Love

So Ry Ry…hang in there, and by hang in there, I mean “text me”…these will be some tough months for you ahead!


  1. LOVE this! And oh gosh is he gorgeous, I secretly drool over him when my husband is looking the other way. But I get it, I get saw him first!

  2. hehehe...I think you have conclusively proven that you two are MEANT to be together. Ryan just needs to hop on Amtrak and get to IN!

  3. OMGracious... it's not funny, but what's making me giggle is that you were the first person I thought of when I read the news. Your new post showed up in my blog roll but I didn't get a chance to pop over and read and as soon as I read it, I knew that's what your post had to be referring to!



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