Sheila-isms

I don’t know if you are like me, but I have a ton of friends. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I just seem to surround myself with lots of good people. And because I have so many, again, not tooting my own horn, I tend to have them categorized. My three categories of friends are: lifelong, besties, and the girl.

“The girl” I am referring to is Sheila. Sheila has been my dear friend for many years. I met her three or four months into my separation with my Ex. From the first moment we met, shopping for clothes at TJMaxx, I knew we would be lifelong buddies. You see when we met she had just moved to my neck of the woods from Arizona (she has since moved back). It was the dead of winter and we were hysterically laughing in the asiles of the store as she was frantically looking for a sweater to buy. We were headed out for the evening in what seemed like below zero weather and she was wearing a cute pair of pants and a tank top, bless her heart,…she eventually caught on to the dress code of the Midwest, but it took a little while.

From that evening on we were attached at the hip. She was a HUGE support for me through my divorce. I know I can always count on her to have my back, pick me up when I’m down, and just make me laugh for no reason at all. I LOVE THIS GIRL!

Because she lives in Arizona, and I’m almost 40 it is often very difficult for us to communicate. I know, I know, you are probably asking yourself how her living in Arizona and me almost being 40 could hamper our level of communication.

Well, remember yesterday’s post when I waffled back and forth about maybe being old and maybe not being old? I mentioned that I like to be in bed around 9 or 10…and with a three hour time difference between Indiana and Arizona, Sheila usually isn’t even off of work by the time I go to bed. If that doesn’t make me sound old, I don’t know what else would. Bottom line, it is difficult for us to even connect on the phone. We always joke around that we are having a love affair with each other’s voice mails.

Anywho…six paragraphs in and I think I better get to the topic of this post. Sheila and I finally connected on Wednesday night after what seemed like weeks of trying to have a phone conversation. And as usual, the phone call ended up being a pep talk for both of us…she is my biggest cheerleader, as I am hers! And as we were talking I was making note of all of the hysterical shit she says and I thought I would share them with you.

I kid you not, these things just roll off her tongue, mid sentence…

“Stick a flag on your forehead and do it for your country!”

“Build a bridge and get over it!”

“We don’t have to date pigs to get a little sausage!”

“Remember you are the prize, and they have to be a winner, not a wiener, to have the privilege of dating you.”

“Shut the front door.”

“Don’t piss in my ear and tell me it’s raining!”

(said in a strong southern accent) “Whoo wee…you could make a jack rabbit hug a hound dog.”

And my most favorite line of all…”You know I love you more than a fat kid loves cake?”

Many of these statements were said to me in our conversation this week as she was pepping me up and preparing me for a conversation that I was stressed about having with someone. And she has left me a voice mail message this morning. I’m sure it is full of more Sheila-ism, because she knows they always make me smile.

Do I need to say it again? I LOVE THIS GIRL! Every girl needs a Sheila in her life!