Top Ten Friday

Welcome to this weeks edition of Top Ten Friday where I break it down!

Top ten things said by my relatives this Thanksgiving

10. "Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist."

9. "I'm in the mood for a little dark meat."

8. "Are you ready for seconds yet."

7. "Just wait your turn, you'll get some."

6. "Don't play with your meat!"

5. "You still have a little bit on your chin."

4. "Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!"

3. "That's the biggest one I've ever seen!"

2. "How long do I beat it before it's ready?"

And the number one funniest thing said by one of my relatives on Thanksgiving...

1. "Gibson, get your hands out of Santa's pants!"

Ok...#1, that was said by me...classy, huh? I thought these were all funny yesterday, maybe it was the wine...maybe it is my dirty mind, I may never know!

Hope everyone had an awesome Thanksgiving!

These are not "holla" moments

Have you ever had one of those days when you just want to throw in the towel and proclaim your hatred for motherhood? I don't have those kinds of days very often, in fact, I can count on two fingers the number of times I have had this particular thought. And both times, I felt so guilty for actually thinking how much I hated motherhood. After all, it is what I was born to do...I just know it. And if I was born to do this, then how come I hated it so much on those particular days?

One of the toughest parts of feeling this way was trying to figure out a way to not think this way and think happy thoughts, you know, the reasons why I love being a mother. And in order to do that, like always with me, I had to state the negative thoughts in order to move on and allow myself the opportunity to focus on the positive. So I came up with these lists:

What I don't love about being a mom:

I don't love worrying from day to day about where the money will come from to support my kids from now until they are on their own. I am barely surviving on what I have now and the thought of clothing and feeding two teenagers just makes me sick to my stomach.

I don't love it when my kids say "you just don't love me" when I punish them. This is the one statement that always breaks my heart. How can they think that? Don't they know that I would do anything, and I mean ANYTHING for them?

I don't love the question "why". I hear this a hundred times a day. I don't always have an answer, and this frustrates me. I try to tell my kids that I know everything, but that I just don't know everything on every day. They used to fall for it, but are to the point where they don't anymore. This, often times, leaves me saying "uhhhhhh, I don't know" when answering their questions. And I don't know about you, but when my kids hear "I don't know" it just prompts them to ask "why" again...it's a never ending viscous cycle.

I don't love it when my kids throw fits or cop an attitude. They are 8 and 6 and I think they should know better than to behave this way. But what I have to remember is that they are 8 and 6 and are supposed to still be acting this way.

I don't love it when they get out of bed immediately after I have tucked them in. There is nothing more irritating than putting my kids to bed for the evening and relaxing for the first time that day, only to hear the pitter patter of little feet running down the hallway. I try to be patient, especially when they are coming into my room for one last hug, or one last kiss, or just because they need to see me again.

What I love about being a single mom:

I love to hear my kids laugh and giggle! I love to hear them get excited about things, whether it be their favorite sports team winning from behind, or bouncing on the beds, or waking up on a Saturday morning and realizing it's not a school day. Anytime my kids get excited about something it makes me happy!

I love to see my kids learning new things. I love it when they learn new things at school and then bring it home to teach me or each other.

I love going on adventures with my kids. Wheter it is a road trip, a bike ride on a new route, or a hike in the woods in our neighborhood...new adventures always make me happy.

I love when my kids are curious. I love when they ask me questions (except for the "why" one, of course)and I have to explain things to them. It's sometimes even fun when I get to make up the answer!

I love that my boys still need me. They need me to teach them things, explain things to them, read to them, and play with them...but my favorite thing about being needed is when they just want to cuddle on my lap because they need to feel my love.

As I look back over my almost nine years of being a mom, there are many things to remind me of how lucky I am to know what the love of a child feels like. Things like, being needed in the middle of the night to comfort the one who has just had a bad dream, putting ketchup on anything as long as they eat it, hugs around the waist, watching Star Wars instead of the Young and the Restless, cutting off crusts, my office walls full of original artowrk, the magic kiss that heals all bumps and bruises, my children shound asleep, the macaroni necklace made with love and care, wearing the special macaroni necklace, syrup kisses in the mornings, not worrying about those few extra pounds because those are the few extra pounds that make me so cuddly, a bouquet of dandelions, and last but not least, love is saying no at the right times when I know that saying yes is easier.

Don't hate the player, hate the game

One of the most stressful parts about the Thanksgiving holiday is projecting forward into the future that we call Christmas. Because the week of Thanksgiving is one of the only times each year that my entire family is together we tend to discuss our “wish lists” for the giving of gifts more than anything else. I know, it defeats the purpose of the Thanksgiving holiday, but it is what it is. I don’t argue with the process.

The toughest part of obtaining this “wish list” from family members is the one I struggle to get from my dad each year, because he is the guy that always says “surprise me” when asked for his wish list. However, this year was much different…he had a list…thank you Jesus! No more struggling with what to buy the guy who doesn’t ever want anything! But never fear, there was still one in the group, that tried to be bad ass and not come up with a list…and this year it happened to be my friend, let’s call him “I’m easy to shop for”. Here is how our conversation went.

Me: Hey, “I’m easy to shop for”, what do you want for Christmas?

I’m easy to shop for: Oh, I don’t know. You are always good at getting me the perfect gift. I’m sure I will be happy with whatever you get me.

Me: Ok, how about a gift card from In and Out?

I’m easy to shop for: What is In and Out? I’ve never heard of it.

Me: In and Out Burgers

I’m easy to shop for: But we don’t have one in Indy do we?

Me: No, but there is one in Phoenix, Arizona. You could just purchase an airline ticket for about $400, fly out there on a 3 ½ hour flight, grab a burger and come right back. $400 and an 8 hour round trip, could be fun! It would be worth it because In and Out Burgers are sooooooo good” ( I say with a “how you like me now smirk” on my face).

I’m easy to shop for: Ok that sounds awesome! (damn he has seen through me and is going to play my game)I needed a good reason to go back to Phoenix. And I have never had an In and Out burger. But, you know I don’t like to travel alone, so I would only go if you went with me.

Me: But I’m on a diet

I’m easy to shop for: No, but you like fountain drinks and I’m sure they have a soda machine. Besides, wouldn’t you feel bad not being there to see me appreciate the gift you so thoughtfully gave me?

Score: I’m easy to shop for: 1
Me: a big fat ZERO!

Doooohhhhhhh! So the moral to the story is…never stoop to the level of your obnoxious friends! Give your gifts from the heart! And certainly never ever try to outwit the guy who can outwit everyone!

I love getting up in the morning! I clap my hands and say "this is gonna be a great day!"

This time of year it is difficult not to think about the things we are thankful for. In fact, I find myself constantly thinking about what it means to be thankful? I’m not talking about being thankful in a way I am when someone opens a door for me, what I’m talking about is the feeling of being thankful for the blessings in my life! So today I am reflecting back on the things that I am thankful for…the things that touch me to the core because they are a subtle reminder to keep me focused on the positives in my life. And because this list is so impactful to me, I thought I would share a few, or 15 of them to be exact, with you. I love this list and hope that I will continue to look back on it and be truly thankful for these things every time I am feeling down, depressed or sorry for myself. Because at the end of the day, I really am a lucky girl to have all of these things in my life!

1. I am thankful for my family, especially my parents: Even though my mom isn’t here today, she would definitely be proud of the mom, daughter, sister, friend and woman I have become. And my dad, what can I say about him other than he is AMAZING! My brothers, boy…I don’t even know where to begin with them other than I adore the fact that they support me no matter what! And my adorable kids…I’m just thankful that no mater what the outcome of the day, they always, and I mean always, manage to put a huge smile on my face!

2. I am thankful for my independence: I am so thankful for being single and having the freedom to make the decisions I want about my life without having to run it by anyone else!

3. I am thankful for clear crisp fall days perfect for an afternoon run

4. I am thankful for hot showers on a cold morning. I know it’s crazy, but I get a lot of thinking done in the shower…many a good blog posts have come from a long hot shower.

5. I am thankful for my awesome friends who always make me laugh and give me a shoulder to cry on when I need it.

6. I am thankful for sleep…as much as possible…and oh yeah, uninterrupted too!

7. I am thankful for the freedom to believe in the God of the Bible!

8. I am thankful for being healthy: sure, I may need take a few steps and stretch in the morning before I feel less like an 80 year old woman upon waking, but in general I feel good!

9. I am thankful for music: It’s what gets me going in the morning and winds me down at night. Plus there is nothing better than watching my 6 year old dancing around the house listening to his iPod…can I just say, priceless!

10. I am thankful for the Internet: it’s every girls dream…I mean, who wouldn’t want to be able to, book a fun trip to Hawaii, buy a cute purse, and shop for a husband all without leaving the comfort of your bed?

11. I am thankful for the joy of writing: I’m not saying I’m particularly good at it, but hey, I’m a much better writer than say a woodworker, fencer, or artist…It’s my outlet and I’m thankful to have a place to share my stories.

12. I am thankful for being able to appreciate the weird things people do. Today on my way to work I saw a construction worker bent over and showing the largest amount of butt crack I had ever seen…it made me laugh!

13. I am thankful for random acts of kindness. My ex mother-in-law is a prime example of this. Every time she goes to Starbucks for coffee, she always buys the coffee of the person behind her. One question, how come I’m never directly behind her in line?

14. I’m thankful for my bronchial inhaler on a cold morning run.

15. I’m thankful for a job that I love and that I learn from each and every day…no matter how much I complain about it, I am right where I am supposed to

Top Ten Friday

Welcome to another edition of Top 10 Friday, where I break it down! ...You're welcome!

Top 10 things I have learned from my guy friends

10. You CAN get busted for making out in a car even when you are in your 30's and 40's.

9. Single men in their late 30's and early 40's are often LESS mature than 18 year old boys.

8. You can NOT jump in the air and land in the splits on the dance floor without doing some serious damage to your body.

7. How to pee standing up without getting any pee on me.

6. I have enough friends and pen pals and don't need any "text buddies".

5. I don't like foot massages.

4. The worst thing about being lied to is knowing that I wasn't worth the truth.

3. I sometimes talk in my sleep...apparently it is kind of cute.

2. I should get my tires checked BEFORE the first big winter storm of the season.

And the #1 thing I have learned from my guy friends is...

1. A wingman is more important to a single guy than the friendship of a great girl.

I am, therefore, I date

Growing up, I was your typical girly girl, I often dreamt of the fairy tale wedding, my prince charming, my knight in shining armor. I grew up believing he would one day come into my life and make me the happiest girl on earth. I had a notebook full of wedding dresses, cakes, beautiful boys from Tiger Beat that I could only hope would one day be my real life prince charming. Then I grew up and I thought I had met the man of my dreams. I married him, and poof, just like that, one day, those dreams were gone, and I was suddenly forced to find dreams of my own.

This childhood dream, brings me to the reality of present day dating. I have learned a lot over the years about dating. But the one thing I haven’t seemed to learn yet is how to keep a man around. Come to think of it, as I write that statement, I realize that I don’t think I have ever dated anyone that was really worth keeping around. Oh, at the time I thought a couple were keepable, but looking back now, if I had kept any of them around, I might be working through divorce #2.

One thing I have come to realize is that I prefer to date divorced men. Because in the eyes of society, they are like me, failures, tainted and have lots of baggage. We, divorced people, know this is not true, but we have come to terms with how others see us. Even in my church, divorce and singleness are looked down upon, maybe not deliberately, but we are. Sermons are always geared toward happily married families. Oh sure, sometimes they throw us a bone, by adding “and you single people too” to the end of a sentence, but in general we are looked down upon. And I can’t help but think of my children when I think of men who have never been married…you know in an “attached to my apron strings” kind of way. I also think, “wanderer”, “selfish”, and “in great need of attention” when I think of men that have never been married. But if I were being completely honest with myself, if he is cute and emotionally available I would still give him a chance whether he had been married or not…hey, I’m completely open to someone saying “I told you so” if I meet and fall in love with a guy who has never been married. But I digress… Back to my original point of why I like dating divorced men.

Men who are divorced, oftentimes, are fathers. They know firsthand and understand what kind of life I lead, a life that is hectic and very rarely has time for outside relationships. They obviously aren’t afraid of commitment, because if they were they wouldn’t be divorced. Most divorced men have a greater appreciation for my post-pregnancy body than most single men do.
Because these men are divorced it makes me believe that they have had the time to work on themselves and hopefully they have learned from their mistakes. Their divorce also suggests to me that they plan to make better choices the next time around. They will hopefully have a better understanding of what it means to choose their partner for the right reasons and not all the wrong reasons. But most importantly, dating a divorced man means that some other woman loved him enough to test drive him and break him in…so he can’t be all that bad, right?

Why do I bring all of this up, you might ask? Well, unfortunately for me I recently went on a date with a divorced dad whom I thought had potential but defied everything I described up above. This guy, I will call “bitch, moan and complain” did just that all night long, bitched moaned and complained. The biggest turn off to me is someone that complains about paying child support. Dude…it’s the law! It’s not like we are trying to scam the money from you. It is money you owe for the sole purpose of “supporting your child”…hence the name. Does it always seem fair, no…but it is the law! Does it make things tough sometimes…you bet. Suck it up…it is your obligation to your children-THERE IS NO GETTING AROUND IT!

But my biggest pet peeve about “bitch, moan and complain” was the fact that he kept referring to himself as a “single dad”. But after having a couple of drinks with him before dinner what I quickly realized was that he is not a “single dad” but a “part time” dad. The difference between the two, you might ask? A single dad has 50/50 (or more) custody of his children. He understands his role as a parent/dad/caregiver to his children. A man who sees his kids every other weekend has not earned the “single dad” status. Whether he knows it or not, his ex’s parenting responsibilities far outweigh his. More than likely, he doesn’t even know what his responsibilities are. In fact, I know he doesn’t. Over dinner, he was complaining about how his ex-wife called him to ask him to help pay for an activity one of their kids wanted to do and he denied her request with the excuse…”that’s what I pay you for every month.” Never fear ladies, I set him straight. That is, in fact, not what he pays her for every month. First, he sends her a child support check every month, not a payroll check. And second, this check is to be used to put food on the table for their children, to put a roof over the heads of their children, to clothe their children…do you get the picture?

Funny, I never heard from “bitch, moan and complain again.” And I am good with that!

How do I like my chicken...grilled or mcnuggeted?

Ok…I saw this on another bloggers site but for the life of me I can’t remember where I stole the idea. So if you are reading this and it is something you have done on your blog, please leave me a comment so that I can give you the credit you deserve!

I love these little meme’s for a couple of reasons. First, because in case you haven’t realized it yet, I like to talk about myself on my blog, and second, because these are usually a bit of a challenge for me. This one is called “Three’s”. Apparently, I am supposed to answer each question with my top three responses. You should try it, maybe you will learn something about yourself.

Three words/pharses I say too often
1. Seriously people!
2. You’ve got to be kidding me!
3. Because I said so! (this makes me cringe every time I say it because it reminds me of how much I used to hate it when my mom and dad said it to me. OMG! I have become my parents!)

Three things I do that make me feel like I am 14 years old
1. Facebook
2. Watch (and love) reality TV
3. Read celebrity gossip magazines like they are the bible! (kind of reminds me of my Tiger Beat days)

Three quirks that make me feel like I am 84 years old
1. I try to avoid going places that still allow smoking
2. Hobbling every morning when I get out of bed
3. Cutting myself off from liquids after 8pm…I will admit it…I hate getting up in the middle of the night to pee.

Three things/people that make me swoon
1. Ryan Reynolds
2. A new pair of jeans
3. Anyone who is male, emotionally available, and single

Three recent purchases that make me happy
1. My new car
2. The redesign of my blog…it’s coming very very soon…stay tuned!
3. A brand new air freshner for my family room…it helps take away the little boy smell that I can’t seem to get out of my house. Thought it was better to get a new air freshner than get rid of the cute little boys.

Three words I commonly misspell
1. Definitely
2. Misspell
3. Receive (every time…and I mean EVERY TIME I spell this word I have to recite “I before e except after c” silently to myself)

Three of my best Halloween costumes
1. Waldo from Where’s Waldo…this was definitely my favorite
2. ½ of (2) peas in a pod…difficult costume to wear to a party…hard to go to the bathroom when you are attached to someone all night long
3. Axel Rose, my ex went as Slash…don’t laugh, it was the early 90’s!

Three things I do exceptionally well
1. Procrastinate (I’m not bragging, I’m just saying)
2. Make others laugh
3. Going against every English lesson I ever learned when I write

Three things I do NOT do exceptionally well
1. Think before I speak
2. Waiting for the good things that supposedly come to those who wait
3. Keep in contact with my friends (reversing this is a HUGE goal for me this year)

Three people I would love to be for a day
1. Scarlett Johansen, and I think we all know why!
2. John Stewart, I wouldn’t necessarily want to be him for a day, but I would love to be his shadow for an entire day…I think I would probably bust a gut
3. Oprah Winfrey, I can’t really stand her, but I wish I could live her lifestyle for just one day

Three people I would not want to be for a day
1. Ann Coulter
2. Sara Palin
3. Lindsey Lohan

Now after looking at these again I have come to realize one thing, it’s no wonder why I am single.

I have become the girl who uses phrases like “because I said so”, who is addicted to reality TV, celebrity magazines, and Face book. I am someone who can’t walk when getting out of bed in the morning, and has to stop drinking liquids after 8pm for fear of wetting the bed in the evenings. I am someone that basically wants to off Scarlett Johansen so that I can get to her man. I am someone who can’t spell worth a crap, that likes to dress up, make others laugh, wants to live like Oprah and can’t seem to have enough airfreshner in her house to rid it of “little boy” smell. Hmmmm….how do you like me now? Appealing, isn’t it? I know, shocking that I am available, isn't it?