Things I've Learned This Month, the February Edition

…If I ever come up missing, a vineyard in Sonoma is probably where you will find me.

…I think I’m losing my mind, thankfully I don’t think anyone can tell the difference.

…Good hair days only happen on the days when it doesn’t matter.

…Giselle Bundchen needs to discover duct tape. (I can’t stand Tom Brady, but even he deserves to be married to something more than an egotistical motor mouth)

…Everything about me is so amazing, I think I might just start dating myself.

…Never, and I mean never eat a banana while shopping at the hardware store, don’t ask!

…When life hands you lemons, it’s best to just grab some tequilia and salt.

…Homework and wine go hand in hand, this does NOT make me a bad mom!

…Going to bed before my kids is not always a bad thing.

…Trying to convince my boys that Axe is not a replacement for a shower will forever be an issue in my house.

…You know you have officially become your parents when watching Downton Abby, the new Masterpiece miniseries, on Sunday evenings is the highlight of your week.

…My “to do list” is not going to do itself.

…I never have a problem talking myself out of cleaning my house.

Anonymous

I started this blog almost 3 years ago.

Can you believe it’s been that long?

I can’t.

Quite frankly, when I started blogging, at the encouragement of my friends, I never thought I would have enough material to keep it going. But thank goodness I’m still single and a mom of boys. As long as I have one of the two of those things going for me, I am confident that I will always have stories to tell.
And that brings me to the point of this post.

This blog is and has always been a forum for me to tell my stories, process the goings on of my life, and most importantly to vent. It has never been my goal to hurt anyone, hence the reason why I never ever name names. If I’m asked by someone if I wrote about them I would be honest. Obviously, I’m not one to hold back. In fact, most people in my life would say that one thing they like about me is that they always know where they stand with me.

I value that quality.

So when I got two anonymous negative comments in the past week on my Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster article, I was a little shocked. In my almost three years blogging, I have never gotten any negative feedback. Don’t worry, I’m not stressed about it because I believe any feedback is good feedback. It means people are reading, listening and being challenged.

One of the questions I was asked by said anonymous commenter is if I realized that I was the common factor in all of the negative dating experiences I have had. My response to that is a resounding, YES, I am very well aware of the fact that I am the common denominator in all of these stories. I have never claimed to be innocent nor perfect in my dating life. In fact, I would say over half of my blogs are about me and the crazy mistakes I make in my life. I’m always fessing up and saying I’m not proud of my behavior and choices.

The good thing is that they are all learning experiences!

The other comment that threw me off came today. I was asked by another anonymous commenter if I ever told the guys that I write about that I am writing about them. The comment then went on to say that if I didn’t it was disrespectful.

As you can imagine, I also have some things to say about this…

First, and foremost,I in no way ever mean to be disrespectful to anyone. That’s not my style. I also think that “freedom of speech” is something we are all lucky enough to practice. That is one of the things that makes the USA so great. I don’t know what the difference is about me writing about my experiences vs. me sharing them over a drink with my girlfriend.

But most importantly, the thing I want to get across to this anonymous commenter is that I feel the need to remind them that they are doing the same thing I am doing, writing what is on their heart using different names.

It’s no different.

It’s life!

Now, can’t we all just get along?

Why I'm removing my profile from Match 6 weeks early

So…Match.com…yeah, it’s not my favorite thing in the world, but it’s a necessity for someone like myself who likes to stay in more than I like to go out. Don’t get me wrong, I like to go out, and I like to have fun, but I only go out when I have a plan, I don’t like to go out just to go out. I had to find a way to be more social and put myself out there to the world, and by world I mean eligible bachelors.

It seemed like a good solution six weeks ago.

I’m not gonna lie, I have met a great guy on Match, let’s call him Mr. Great Guy. But it is still too early in the game to know what the future may hold. Let’s just say I’m keeping my fingers crossed, he’s a good catch. At the same time that I met Mr. Great Guy, I also met Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster. As you can tell by their names, they are two totally different guys.

The main difference between the two, well, I think you can assume what that is by their names alone, so let’s say the 2nd main difference between the two is that I have spent some time with Mr. Great Guy, I haven’t ever met Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster in person…and I never will.

Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster and I had been trying to find a time to meet for a drink, but our schedules were difficult and it never worked out, until this week. We had plans to meet for a drink tonight. But last night, I had to cancel due to a last minute work thing. Secretly, I was relieved as I wasn’t really excited about meeting Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster in person. He wasn’t really my type and he had to convince me to meet him. That is never a good sign.

Anyway, I knew he had his daughter last night and it would be difficult to talk, so I shot him a quick text message to see if I could have a rain check. I didn’t really want a rain check, but I thought it was the nice thing to do.

I thought you might enjoy our brief yet drama filled text conversation.

Me: Hey, I just found out I have to sit in a meeting tomorrow that will probably last until 6:30 or 7…can I have a rain check on drinks?

Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster: Hey. It is fine. I have been on Match long enough to understand what this means. It was nice to meet you. Take Care.

Me: Wow! Thanks for judging and trusting me before you even get to know me.

Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster: No problem. Take care as I said. I got approval to get off work early. It’s not a big deal. Bye.

Me: Look, if I didn’t want to go out with you I would tell you, but the fact that you immediately thought I was lying is enough for me to know that we wouldn’t have been a good match anyway.

Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster: I agree, it is a bad match. I don’t want to play games. I’m sure your Mr. Right is out there. Just not someone who cancels a day before because they all of the sudden had to work. Take care.

Me: Wow! It’s no wonder your single! Your ability to be flexible is awesome! If I cared enough I would send you the message from my boss, but I don’t. Thanks for calling me a game player. Please don’t ever contact me again.

Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster: No worries on that. You are very insulting.

Me: (crickets…no reply)…at this point I’m done with this dude.

But then, I wake up to this text message from him this morning…

Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster: I want to apologize for my reaction last night. Not that I’m trying to make excuses but I have a younger cousin who has Chrones Disease and is in bad shape. We are back to square one. So I am sorry, I was in a horrible mood over this and took it out on our conversation. I didn’t want to leave you with a bad taste about me. We thought he had a donor for a new liver and I was texting him while I was texting you and found out the donor was not the match they thought it was. I’m a good person and sometimes I let my emotions get the better of me. I wish you the best and hope you find what you are looking for. Take care.

I kid you not, that is our text conversation verbatim!

In a way I feel bad. I am a very compassionate person and I wouldn’t wish his situation on anyone, but on the other hand, I don’t want to reply to his last message and open it up for more conversation.

Now…I’m off to remove my profile from Match.

If things with Mr. Great Guy work out, I would be thrilled, but if they don’t I am not willing to subject myself to anymore people like Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster. I just don’t have the energy