This week I got the most hysterical email from my friend Jackie entitled Truths for Mature Humans. It was a list of 24 things that you don’t really think about but once you do, you realize how funny they are. So I thought I would share with you my top ten favorites from that list.
10. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. (I’m currently making a note to get my best friend my password by weeks end)
9. There is a great need for a sarcasm font. (Until one is created just note that 95% of my blog is sarcastic)
8. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
7. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired. (maybe it’s because I’m almost 40, a single mom, with a full time job and have two kids that are non-stop bundles of energy)
6. Bad decisions make good stories. (hence the reason for this blog)
5. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page technical report that I swear I did not make changes to. (this happens more often than I would like to admit)
4. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. (Specifically, “The Stalker”…he still will not leave me alone…might have to muscle up and get hard with him.)
3. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
2. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and pinning the tail on the donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from three feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time…every time!
And last but certainly not least…my favorite Truth for Mature Humans…
1. The first testicular guard (or “cup” as I like to call them) was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important!
Happy Friday everyone!